CJ Penn's Online Writing Hangout

July 19, 2015
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Book Challenge Day #3 – Stressed

Currently in a hotel room, going to a wedding this evening. And this is my first post thumbed out on my iPhone. So please pardon the typos.

A crazy full weekend. But that’s not really the source of the stress I’m referring to in the title of this post. Yet it’s a factor. You see, God keeps painting a panoramic picture of the book He’s inspired me to write. Even the details are coming clearly into focus. And some of the dialog as well.

Anyway, my stress is coming from the fact that this weekend I have no time to do anything with all these images and ideas filling my head. And as is my nature, I tend to be impatient. With so much of the book so clearly shown to me, I want to start writing it now!

Patience CJ. And thank you so much Lord for overwhelming me with your generous gift of this exciting and challenging book project.

See ya tomorrow. CJ

July 18, 2015
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Book Challenge Day #2 – The Wanderer

It’s been a little over 24 hours since I took on the challenge to write a book, from concept to self-publish, in three months. My head is spinning with ideas. Yesterday was wild – on my drive to work in the morning, I actually abandoned my original book idea for another idea.

I was praying my way down the highway – praying that some sleepy commuter doesn’t rear-end me, as I often do, yet also praying about the book idea I had originally come up with. Then, in an instant, a new and very fresh idea started rapidly growing in my mind. By the time I got to work I had a general outline all figured out. I even had the last chapter written, in my head. And I have a title – The Wanderer. I parked my car, quickly scribbled some notes, and reluctantly walked into work, glad as always that it was Friday.

Usually on a Friday evening, my exhausted drive home is filled with thoughts of that first beer or glass of wine that waits for me. But not yesterday. The book seemed to be writing itself within my head. Filled with unusual energy, I first went swimming – the only form of exercise that doesn’t hurt my often achy, aging body. More ideas flooded into my mind as I swam. More scribbled notes in the car before finally driving home from the fitness club.

God was really speaking to me yesterday, clearly outlining this next book He wants me to write. I think He’s enjoying this as much as I am.

(July 18, 2015: day 1 down, 92 more to go, of The Challenge… to write a book, from concept to self-publish, in 3 months.)

July 17, 2015
by CJ Penn 3 Comments

Book Challenge – Day #1

Challenge to self: write and self-publish a book within three months. This isn’t a new idea for me, but while checking out many of the presentations at the on-going Self-Publishing Success Summit, I finally felt energy growing within me… let’s do it.

So this morning, right after getting out of bed, I started talking with God, asking Him for ideas. What would He like me to write about that could be contained in a short, maybe 20,000-word book? I so love writing with God, because He’s always there for me. I think He loves writing too, for it’s another way He can communicate with His children. Even before I started making coffee, an idea started coming into focus. And half-way through that first cup of coffee, I started drawing a mind-map with the ideas that were coming into my still-dreamy head. And now, the whole story is laid out before me.

I think God has a sense of humor, because the idea he gave me is a fiction story. Yet all my experience is writing non-fiction. To pull this off, I’ll have to dig deep into my past, when I was a young kid who loved to make up stories. I’m excited.

Anyway, if you’re interested in following my progress with this challenge, check back once in awhile. I’ll try to share the experience. October 17th, 2015 … wish me luck.

July 17, 2015
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Wading Through the Rubble of my Mind

Each morning, with coffee in hand, I take my precious quiet time and seek God, within me. I sit in my rustic garage corner-office/storage-room, sometimes reading the daily devotional in Jesus Calling, sometimes reading my bible, but always trying to focus my mind on Jesus and God.

Yet, every morning before I can find my way to God, I need to wade my way through the trash and rubble that clogs my mind. I need to clear a path to God, through thoughts about work, home projects, personal challenges, and often-meaningless distractions. Some mornings, my minds rubble piles up high and deep, and it can be rough going, bouncing from one distraction to the next. But if I patiently keep digging, I eventually break through the rubble and … there’s God, always waiting for me.

And I’m so grateful.

July 16, 2015
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I Can’t Trust Myself

Yesterday I wrote a post where I used a story a friend had told me. But I made a mistake in that in citing the story, I got the facts wrong. And I got them wrong in a way that hurt my close friend. I’ve been thinking and praying a lot about this since yesterday. It all reminds me that I can’t always trust myself. I can’t trust my thoughts, my ideas, my mind. Left to myself, too often I’ll get something wrong.

This morning, while praying about this and asking Jesus to help me, He gently reminded me to just trust Him. As Jesus said, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” (John 14:1) It occurred to me that He didn’t say, “Trust yourself; trust also in God and me.” Jesus is telling me to put all my trust in Him and our Father. He’s telling me to put no trust in myself. I like this – it makes me feel better.

As I can’t trust myself and my own mind, my hearts desire is to surrender my mind to the Spirit of Jesus within me, and let Him control my thoughts, my ideas, and my mind. It’s definitely not easy, especially for me. But there’s a promise along the path of this journey of surrendering my mind to Jesus. As Paul said, “… the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6)

And I’m so grateful.

July 15, 2015
by CJ Penn 1 Comment

Catholic vs. Catholic vs. Protestant vs. Baptist vs. Presbyterian

[Look, something brought you to this blog post. If it was a mistake—sorry. But if you’d like to see something that is probably more worth your time, please check out the blurb about my soon-to-be-published novel on my new website. It’s basically about seeing a different perspective of Jesus, through the eyes of some background characters in the Bible. New website: cjpenn.com]

My friend had just been to a potluck dinner, the house filled with good food and great friends. Everyone attended the same church. As the evening progressed, little discussion groups started forming. As my friend later told me, the discussions in each group all followed a similar theme.

One group was comparing Roman Catholicism to Anglican Catholicism. The second group was comparing Catholicism to Protestantism. The third group was comparing the Baptist Church to the Presbyterian Church. Heavy stuff, especially compared to things I usually talk about at a dinner party.

Each discussion was comparing different forms of the Christian Church. But no one was talking about the real Church. No one was talking about Jesus. No one was talking about the Spirit of Jesus living within those who believe. That’s the real Church… the Holy Spirit within you. And no one was talking about that.

My reaction is sadness. I think Jesus and His true Church deserve more attention. Am I making too big a deal out of this? Maybe. What do you think?

July 14, 2015
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I Need More Than Coffee

Morning coffee,

as strong as I can make it without the grounds spilling out of the basket.

Just enough milk to smooth out the bitter, but not dilute the strong flavor.

My mind slowly wakes and comes into focus.

But it’s not enough.

Today, everyday, I need more than coffee.

The coffee clears my mind.

But my soul, my feelings, still feel fuzzy and confused.

I feel a bit dark, though not like my coffee – that’s a good dark.

I feel a bit bleak, a little depressed, slightly purposeless.

Coffee alone doesn’t help.

I need God.

It’s hard to sweep away the clouds and distractions of life.

It’s hard to sometimes see God through the clutter in my mind.

But He’s there, just beyond the clutter, always waiting for me.

It takes time, it takes emptiness, it takes some sweeping of my mind to see God.

Yet when I wade my way though my messy thoughts,

and put the stuff of life behind me,

God greets me with a warm bear hug.

He hugs my soul. And the clouds lift.

There is no better way to start the day.

And I’m so grateful.

July 10, 2015
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Who are the Dones?

July 3, 2015
by CJ Penn 3 Comments

Heaven on Earth

The other day I wrote about Hell within the Church (see it here). Much of life down here in this pain-filled pit of humanity can often feel like hell. But we’re not alone down here in this pit. Even while up to our knees in muck, we can find joy from within. We can find heaven down here in this pit of daily suffering.

Heaven on Earth – paradise in the middle of our mortal turmoil is available to all. And you can find heaven right inside yourself; it’s the Holy Spirit living within you. Heaven is the Holy Spirit of God and Jesus, sharing this life with you. And this relationship is available to all of us. This is THE truth that will set you free.

July 2, 2015
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Same-sex Marriage – Allowed by God

My opinion about same-sex marriage has no meaning and doesn’t matter. But since I’ve posted some thoughts that attracted a little attention (see it here), I feel the need to add some clarification about my beliefs and opinion.

First: God’s opinion is what counts in my life, far more than my opinion. And God’s opinion is that same-sex marriage, and homosexuality, is wrong. Just like all sins. In God’s eyes, the only difference between a homosexual and me is the nature of our sins.

Second: no matter what God thinks about homosexuality as a life style, He still loves homosexuals as people. Just like all sinners.

Third: just because God loves homosexuals, doesn’t mean that God will save homosexuals and bring them to heaven in the end. Like all us sinners, salvation requires we have true faith in God and Jesus and that we repent of our sins (i.e., express sincere sorrow for our sins and ask for forgiveness). And homosexuals have the same ability to have faith and repent as I do. For just because we believe and repent does not mean that we magically stop sinning. My life is proof of that.

Finally: regarding the Supreme Court decision to legalize same-sex marriage, though I don’t think it is the Supreme Court’s responsibility to make such decisions, I also don’t think it’s any of our responsibilities to deny freedom of choice. God has given us all the freedom to make our own decisions about how we will live our lives. If someone decides that they are in their heart a homosexual, and they fall in love with someone of the same sex and, like most people truly in love, they want to get married – well, I don’t think any of us other sinners have the right to take that freedom of choice away from them.

Yet again, though God gives us freedom of choice, allowing for things like same-sex marriage, He still does not condone such acts. This tells us a lot about God – our compassionate and understanding parent.

July 2, 2015
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Feeling Disconnected from God

I have a Facebook friend whom I’ve never met, who recently posted this question to my FB page: “I haven’t been to church in 2 months and feel very disconnected from God. I’ve talked to my Pastor who says this is normal and all Christians go through this at some point or another. Any suggestions?”

Wow! As I read this, I felt a surge of nervousness rise up within me. Though I enjoy posting my personal experiences and such on my blog, I don’t feel qualified to give individual and personal advice. But my FB friend was asking for help. And I felt I should do my best to honor their request. So, this is what I said…

“I went through the same thing. So many doubts. My only suggestion is to find as much quiet time as you can to pray and try to feel the very presence of God within your self. This is what I did, and try to do every day. And when I find and truly feel the presence of the Holy Spirit within me – well, it’s the peace that goes beyond human understanding, that Jesus promised us. Yet for me, it seemed to take a long time to feel the Spirits presence; I tend to be a slow learner. But be persistent and never give up, as Jesus encouraged us to be.”

In looking back on this advice, which is not really advice from me but from Jesus, I believe it’s good everyday advice for all of us.

Do you feel disconnected from God? Follow Jesus’ advice, and seek Him with all your heart. And you will find Him there, within you.

July 1, 2015
by CJ Penn 3 Comments

God Loves Homosexuals

The Bible makes it clear what God thinks of homosexuality as a life style – God despises all sins, including homosexuality. Yet the Bible also makes it abundantly clear what God thinks of sinners. Though God despises sin, He loves sinners… as His children. Though God despises homosexuality as a life style, God loves homosexuals… as His children.

Look, I’m a sinner. I happen not to be homosexual, but I have plenty of other sins that I seem to daily re-visit. These sins are just part of who I am as a person. But my sinful personal nature does not affect God’s love for me. Even in the midst of my sinning, God loves me just as I am.

Are you homosexual? God loves you just as you are. The pain comes from too many of us focusing all our attention on the sin, and forgetting about the love. Let’s all hold onto God’s love, a love that heals all pain.

(First posted 4/1/15, but I felt like posting it again)

July 1, 2015
by CJ Penn 3 Comments

Hell Within the Church

I just checked the dictionary definitions of hell, and they all amount to the same thing… separation from God. Hell is a void, a vacuum, emptiness, loneliness. This is life without God.

The Barna Group conducted a survey of Christians who no longer attend church, looking for possible reasons why these people left the church. The survey found that 20% of these de-churched Christians said, “God seems missing from their experience of church.” *

God seems missing… this is hell, within the church.

Unfortunately, the hell within is driving Christians out. That’s partly why I no longer attend church. Yet maybe the solution is not to leave the church, but to bring God back in. We can all find God within our selves, in our own intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit within us. Then we can bring Him with us when we go to church. When enough people do this, God will fill the sanctuary again. And the vacuum of hell will be filled with the presence of God.

* “Churchless; Understanding Today’s Unchurched and How to Connect with Them,” George Barna and David Kinnaman (The Barna Group), Tyndale House, 2014, page 99, www.barna.org (used by permission)

June 30, 2015
by CJ Penn 3 Comments

The Wall

All the surveys find the same thing: Christians are leaving church. Some surveys report that millions of Christians stop attending church each year. These people aren’t leaving Christianity; they’re just leaving whatever church they used to attend.

Yet something is driving people away. The surveys speak to that as well, giving several reasons why people leave the church. But it all simmers down to this: people are leaving because of a lack of truth within the church. The messages in some churches have drifted away from the truth of Jesus Christ. And what is preached is either a false Christianity, or no Christianity at all.

These false messages are like large stones in a prison wall, mortared together by pride, holding captive unwary believers. Yet as the surveys show, many climb over the wall and escape. But wounds remain.

Most church refugees I know, including me, carry wounds from their experience behind the prison wall of false Christianity. Healing comes from true Christianity, an intimate relationship with the One who heals all… Jesus Christ. A relationship given to us, and living with us, by His Spirit within us.

Did you crash into the wall and come away wounded? A while back I started a Facebook group with the hope that it would help provide healing for other wounded Christians … For Wounded Christians – A Place for Healing. Yet I now realize that no Facebook group can provide the healing we need. Only a personal relationship with the Holy Spirit can do that.

June 29, 2015
by CJ Penn 2 Comments

Feeling Lost

I just finished revision 12 of the book I’m writing. I usually feel excited when I finish a revision, but not this time. I think it’s because the book finally feels done. By done I mean that the content is finished. Yet it still needs a good editing for grammar and all that mechanical stuff.

But now that the book feels so close to being finished, I’m feeling a bit lost. I don’t know what to do next. Oh, this morning I messed around with the book proposal a bit – yes, I’ve decided to first try the traditional publishing route. Also, I recently submitted my first query letter to a literary agency. But I currently don’t feel the energy I have when I’m working on the actual book.

Maybe I just need a break to re-charge. But I don’t want to take a break. Even though I don’t feel much energy right now, I still have a driving passion to get this book into the hands of as many people as possible. I believe this book has the power to heal troubled hearts.

Are you a writer who has walked a similar path? Have you ever felt lost while in the middle of a book project? Do you feel that way now?

June 19, 2015
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From Death to Life

Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life.” (John 5:24)

God has built a bridge between us and Him – from death to life. This bridge is open to all. Yet, only those who choose to believe the bridge is real will get to the other side.

In the movie Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Indy needed to walk across an invisible bridge. The bridge led him to the presence of God, in a way. All he needed was the ability to believe in something he couldn’t see and have the faith to take that first step. So it is with us.

June 11, 2015
by CJ Penn 7 Comments

Welcomed Home… Every Time

Here I sit in my man-cave office – actually, mixture of storage room, cluttered desk, and dust. But it’s my quiet space, isolated from distractions, where I have some of my best one-on-one time with God. This morning is like every morning… coffee in hand and God on my mind, and in my heart. Today I look back over my shoulder at yesterday.

Reflection… looking back I see that yesterday was like most days. More than once, I turned my back on God and abandoned Him. It may seem like nothing, just a typical reaction to life. Like getting consumed by a project at work and venting a bit of frustration at a co-worker. But in that moment, I can’t see God, for my back is to Him.

Yet every time I turn around, there He is. And like the father of the prodigal son, God does more than patiently wait for me to come back to Him. As soon as He sees me turn around, He runs to me, wraps His arms around me, and welcomes me home. Every time. Such is His love for all of us. And I’m so grateful.

June 5, 2015
by CJ Penn 9 Comments

Catholicism and Christianity

I was watching the news last night and the commentator mentioned Catholicism and Christianity as if they are two different things. I found this odd, but I’ve heard people talk this way before. You’re either Catholic or you’re Christian. But Catholic’s are Christian, aren’t they?

What do you think?

May 27, 2015
by CJ Penn 3 Comments

His Hands With Mine

Haven’t been blogging lately. Been too busy working on the book I’m writing with God. I know that might sound weird to you, but that’s the way it feels to me. And for me, there’s no other way to write, as I’m not by nature a writer. So I pray as I write, often spending more time with my eyes closed than with my fingers on the keyboard. Okay, so progress seems slow – just a good test for my natural impatience.

Anyway, I just felt like checking in with my blog today. And I want express my gratitude to God for having His hands on the keyboard along with mine.

May 22, 2015
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Christian Decline in US

The PEW Research Center recently released the results of its 2014 Religious Landscape Survey. Since its first such survey in 2007, the number of Christian adults in the US has shrunk by an estimated 5 million people. Yet over that same time, the US adult population has increased by 18 million. Why is the Christian church shrinking in the US?

Jesus knew the answer: “But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” (Matthew 7:26-27)

I believe that some churches have moved from a solid foundation of the truth of Jesus Christ, to a foundation of sand. Resting on manmade traditions and rules, and preaching popular opinion rather than the true essence of Christianity – this is the foundation of many of today’s churches. And they are crumbling. The PEW research shows the result.

Yet turning those survey results around is easy.