Bacon sizzling in the frying pan;
chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven;
fresh cut grass;
summer rain on hot pavement.
These things stir our memories, senses, and emotions.
God’s words of love, forgiveness, and hope;
An image of Jesus suffering on the cross, for us;
A sense of His Spirit’s presence within our heart;
A wave of love crashing over us, flooding us with emotion.
These things stir our soul, and breathe fire into our life.
And I’m so grateful.
5:30am – an hour to go before the call. No big deal. Just an early morning work conference call, where I’ll be giving a presentation. But for my co-workers and me, this is a big presentation. I want it to go well. And so my tendency would be to get stressed out. But I don’t want stress. Stress would hog the next hour and keep me from doing what I want to be doing – writing.
So I pray to the Holy Spirit of Jesus within me, and this is what came into my mind: “The presentation doesn’t matter. It’s purely worldly and has no value. What matters is relationships, and love.”
As the reality of this truth settled into my mind, the approaching stress-cloud melted away. And I’m so grateful.
Another lunch hour when I’m able to free myself from the hungry grip of work and grap some time alone. But not really alone. I drove to the nearby office park with the half-empty parking lot. My usual tree-shaded parking space is open. It takes a few minutes to quiet my mind and flush out all the work noise. But soon, here comes the Holy Spirit into my thoughts, here to share my lunch with me, and my writing time. I enjoy taking these writing breaks in the middle of my workday, when I can.
Oh, here come those two women who like to walk the loop around this large parking lot. The dark-haired one is doing the talking, as usual. And she’s whining again about something. She’s always whining, at least every time I see her. I feel sorry for her. She seems to have so much to complain about.
Dear Jesus, please help the dark-haired woman find peace. Please help her find freedom from complaining. I suspect you won’t remove her problems, the things she likes to complain about. But she could find true joy in the freedom that comes from letting go of her problems.
Lord, you’ve opened my eyes to this freedom and joy. Oh, I still complain, but not as much as I used to, before I let you into my heart. Thank you for coming in and healing my self-inflicted wounds. I’m so grateful.
My hearts desire is to write, but I’m stuck in my engineering job, shoveling stress and trying to cope with corporate “junk.” Sometimes I fail and let the stress consume me – I just can’t shovel as fast as they pile it on.
Many times I’ve asked God, “Why am I here? I look for meaning in my job, but can’t find anything that matters. I feel like I’m wasting so much time of my brief life. Why am I at this meaningless job when my hearts desire is to surrender to You and devote all my time doing whatever you want me to do? Well, I guess you want me in this job.”
Today I was thinking, what can I do for God while in my “meaningless” job. Well, I could try to find joy in every moment, knowing and trusting that in that moment, I’m where God wants me to be. I could strive to be like Brother Lawrence, who found joy and peace in everything he did, because he was always in the presence of God.
Then it hit me: maybe the reason I’m in my meaningless job is because my feelings about the job make me crave more closeness with God and Jesus. If I didn’t have a stress-pit of a job, I would not be so hungry for the presence of Jesus in my life. The more stressful the job, the more I look for Jesus to help me. I think I’m now sincerely grateful for my job, and for more than just the financial security, which I’m always grateful for.
I know I’m weak and this joyful feeling may be fleeting, but I sure am grateful for my time with the Spirit of God and Jesus, no matter what I’m doing.
Do you want to be an imitator of God? “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children.” (Ephesians 5:1) Do you want to be a WWJD Christian, every moment doing what Jesus would do? You can’t… on your own.
The only way you can is to let Jesus live within you, doing what He would do through you. You can be a WWJD Christian if you let Him. But it’s not “What Would Jesus Do,” as if you are trying to imitate Him. It’s “What Will Jesus Do,” as He lives and acts and speaks from within you – His Holy Spirit sharing your body, mind, and soul. We can be more than imitators of God. And I’m so grateful.
Here I am again, at the edge of the cliff.
Not a high cliff – it’s a short drop into His arms.
Jesus is waiting for me, with His arms open wide.
Just a brief fall away.
I come here every day, to the edge of this cliff,
this cliff of absolute trust and surrender.
I remember the first few times I came here.
Something would bring me to the very edge,
a prayer, a flood of emotion, the gentle hand of God on my shoulder.
Yet for reasons I’m unsure of, I would back away.
Falling into Jesus scared me back then.
But no more, for His love is more powerful than my fear.
So this morning, filled with the passion He’s given me,
I leap off the cliff.
I so love you dear Jesus.
Let me back up and get a running start.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeee
Floating into His arms of love and compassion,
those arms again spread out for me,
those arms first spread out on the cross, for me,
and you.
Today I’m diving into Jesus’ arms, with absolute trust and surrender.
Dive on in… the Holy water is great.
Religion is complicated; Christianity is simple.
Religion is often burdensome; Christianity is freedom.
Religion is often false; Christianity is the truth.
Religion is manmade; Christianity is God-made.
Where religion is rules, Christianity is a relationship, built on a foundation of love.
Religion should be considered as a set of tools, not rules. Religion should work for you, not you for it. Yet sadly, man’s prideful ways have turned the table and created a religion that oversees the followers.
A “religious” Christian is like Pinocchio, a puppet manipulated by strings. The strings are all the rules, traditions, and obligations. Yet, God can cut your strings, and the Holy Spirit will fill you with His presence, making you truly alive and free.
I was a bit trouble-prone as a young boy. Like the time in my bedroom when I nailed my blankets and sheets to my dresser, the walls, and anything that would hold a nail. It was the most awesome tent ever. Then, several years later, there was the New Years Eve when I blew up the neighbor’s mailbox with a barrel bomb. It was so cool how all the rivets blew out, but the swollen shell still stood on the post. Though my mom was always disappointed and usually angry about my fun-filled pranks, I never doubted her love for me.
The most loving parents feel love for their child no matter what. Such is God’s love for His children. “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” (1 John 3:1)
[Look, something brought you to this blog post. If it was a mistake—sorry. But if you’d like to see something that is probably more worth your time, please check out the blurb about my soon-to-be-published novel on my new website. It’s basically about seeing a different perspective of Jesus, through the eyes of some background characters in the Bible. New website: cjpenn.com]
The night before Jesus was nailed to the cross, as he prepared himself for death, He looked to His disciples and… “He said to them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.’” (Matthew 26:38)
While praying for strength, just moments before His arrest, “And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.” (Luke 22:44) There is a medical condition called Hematidrosis, where blood vessels can pop due to extreme stress, and the blood will mix with sweat. Jesus was in such stress.
Yes, Jesus is God, but He was also fully human. It’s important for us to know that what Jesus did for us was not easy. Yet Jesus was overwhelmed by more than the anticipation of torturous pain and death. What was crushing Jesus was the promise of what waited on the other side of death.
Shortly before His death, while praying to His Father, Jesus prayed for us, saying, “I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.” (John 17:21) Even as He prayed these words, Father and Son both knew that very soon, they would not be together. They would not be one.
The death penalty for sins includes separation from God – this is the definition of hell. For the first time in eternity, Father and Son would not be spiritually together. Following His mortal death, Jesus descended into hell.
The sins of humanity kidnapped the Son from His adoring Father. Picture a weeping mother handing over her baby to kidnappers. God and His Son endured this heart-wrenching pain voluntarily. The Father shared the sacrifice of the Son. There is no greater pain for a parent than to loose their child to death.
There is no greater love in all of history than the mutual love God and Jesus showed for us. As Jesus said, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16, emphasis added) God held out His Son, and sin ripped Jesus from His Fathers arms, and killed Him.
Once, when I was helping with our church youth group, one of the kids shared a saying he had heard: “Nails didn’t keep Jesus on the cross – love did.” We see the truth of the cross in the mutual love of God and Jesus, for us. That’s what kept Jesus on the cross.
“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.” (1 John 3:16)
This morning I looked up to see the Catechism of the Catholic Church sitting on my book shelf. It came from my parents house, after my father and stepmother had passed away. It had been my stepmothers. The thicknesses are almost the same. But I believe the contents are different.
I’ve been reading Paul’s letter to those in Rome. This morning I was in chapter 3, where I read this: “This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, AND are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” (Romans 3:22-24)
I sin AND I’m justified, that is, I’m declared righteous by God, by my faith in Jesus. I’ve read Romans many times over the years, and at first I didn’t see the “and”; I didn’t recognize it’s power. I sin and I’m righteous, in God’s eyes. My sin does not affect God’s opinion of me. Where sin will not harm me, it’s faith that saves me. Instead of worrying about sin, I should focus on faith.
By the way, it’s my faith in God and Jesus that feeds my love for them. And it’s my ever-growing love for them that feeds my desire to not sin. Avoiding sin is therefore motivated by love, rather than fear.
AND, God loves you no matter your sins.
I’m a de-churched Christian. I’ve been reading the book “Churchless,” which contains lots of research data the Barna Group has collected about the various aspects of Christianity. Did you know there are about 18 million born-again Christians who no longer attend a church? The Barna study calls these people “de-churched.” It felt weird when I realized I’m one of the 18 million.
I haven’t attended church for almost five years. And what adds to the weirdness is, I can’t clearly tell you why. Oh, I could come up with surface answers easily enough. But none of them feel to me like they are the real, deep down reason I don’t go to church. And I want to know why.
It occurred to me; maybe some of these 18 million de-churched born-again Christians hang out online somewhere. So please help me if you know of any such hang-outs. Are there any Facebook groups? What other sites might the de-churched like to visit? Are there blogs for the de-churched?
My hope is that maybe by connecting with other de-churched people, I might learn why I have no desire to attend church. And if you too are a de-churched Christian, please share some of your story. It may help me, and it may help others. Thank you.
Sometimes. No, make that several times a day… I feel stressed out, especially at work. Even now, in the peace of the early morning, I can feel the stress, usually from anticipation of work. This stress feels like a liquid poison, poured into this vessel named CJ Penn. Sometimes it’s just a bit of poison; other times it feels like I’m overflowing.
Until I remember Jesus. He is like my Rock, dropped into this vessel CJ, pushing the poison of stress out. I feel Him enter into my thoughts, and the poison flows away. When Jesus fills me, there is no room for the poison of stress.
Stress is indeed a poison, for it can make our life sick. But even when surrounded by a stressful day, with Jesus on the inside, the stress remains on the outside, unable to poison my heart and mind and soul.
Thank you so much dear Jesus… my Rock.
I just got back from the grocery store. Got my leg ‘o lamb for our Easter dinner. And, check out this picture of the magazine rack in the check-out line…
At first I didn’t know what to think about it. Jesus, next to a wine tasting mag, and right across the little isle was another magazine rack, next to the candy and gum, filled with glamour model’s cleavage and movie stars cellulite. At first, it all seemed odd to me… a bit edgy.
But what would Jesus think about hanging out with wine lovers, glamour models and movie stars? I think He’d consider that tame, especially compared with some of the crowd He used to hang out with. While He walked the roads of Israel, Jesus seemed to spend more time with lowlife’s, prostitutes, hated tax collectors and other sinners. Jesus lived on the edge of “acceptable” society. So I think Jesus would be okay with the placement of His manmade image on a magazine in the grocery check-out isle.
I hope you all have a great Easter. CJ
Today, Good Friday, we recognize the sacrifice Jesus took upon Himself for all of us. He gave His life for us. Because I’m so grateful, I’d like to give Jesus something in return. As He did for me, I’d like to do for Him – I’d like to give Jesus my life.
To surrender my life to Jesus – how can I do that today? What does this look like? How about this: I’ll give Jesus my thoughts today, as often as I am able.
Are you grateful for what Jesus did for you? Give Him your thoughts today. Focus your mind on Jesus as often as you are able.
Dear Jesus, you gave your life for me,
you suffered for me, you died for me.
And then your Spirit came back to earth,
and now you live within me, sharing my life with me.
I’m not alone.
You’re always here, within.
Yet I fear I may be too accustomed to your presence.
Do I take you for granted? Oh, I hope not.
Dear Jesus, please help me feel the true meaning,
the true power and peace of living with You within me.
I long for a tear.
Those moments when my heart gets a clear glimpse of you within me –
those moments when an un-looked-for tear swells within my eye.
When my heart sees you clearly, my eyes become blurred.
Dear Jesus, oh how I long to see you more clearly;
oh how I long to see the true meaning of You within me;
oh how I long to weep a bucket of tears, for you.
Tears of joy, tears of gratitude, tears of love.
Tears that soften my heart and open me up, to you.
Dear Jesus, I love you more than my dry eyes show.
I long for the moments when I see your true love,
and then my tears show you my true love.
Dear Jesus, thank you for this day, a good day, a Good Friday.
The Bible makes it clear what God thinks of homosexuality as a life style – God despises all sins, including homosexuality. Yet the Bible also makes it abundantly clear what God thinks of sinners. Though God despises sin, He loves sinners… as His children. Though God despises homosexuality as a life style, God loves homosexuals… as His children.
Look, I’m a sinner. I happen not to be homosexual, but I have plenty of other sins that I seem to daily re-visit. These sins are just part of who I am as a person. But my sinful personal nature does not affect God’s love for me. Even in the midst of my sinning, God loves me just as I am.
Are you homosexual? God loves you just as you are. The pain comes from too many of us focusing all our attention on the sin, and forgetting about the love. Let’s all hold onto God’s love, a love that heals all pain.
“Open the eyes of my heart Lord, open the eyes of my heart.
I want to see your, I want to see you.” *
When I was helping with our church youth group, we sang this song often. I love the lyrics. I’d close my optical eyes and try to open the eyes of my heart – it was usually difficult. As I’ve traveled on this journey of getting to know God, I crave to see God more often, within me. For me, it’s more of a feeling of God’s presence that I crave – that’s what it means to me to see God.
My hope is that you are able to quiet your mind and open your heart, and see and feel God and Jesus within you. They are there already, waiting for you to look their way.
* “Open The Eyes of My Heart,” by Paul Baloche
Eyes closed, heart open, I try to quiet my mind.
My mind – it’s sometimes not my friend.
My mind – racing in circles, from one thought to the next.
Then God helps me pull in the reins and bring my mind to a trot, and finally a stop.
Eyes closed, heart open, and my mind quiet and focused on God.
That’s when He touches my heart.
That’s when God reaches into my soul and stirs up my emotions.
And I swell and melt with love and gratitude – for God and Jesus and their presence within me.
And there’s a tear, or two – physical evidence of my emotion.
Dear God. Dear Jesus. I’m so grateful for your love and presence within me.
Let’s do this day, together.
Did you know that most of the people who don’t go to a Christian church had earlier in their life attended church? This is most apparent with the young adult generation, like from 18 to 30 years old. They attended as a kid, probably because their parents dragged them there, but they followed a different path when they gained their adult freedom.
I’m reading “Churchless,” by George Barna and David Kinnaman. It’s a book based on survey results of those who don’t go to a Christian church.
I just finished reading a chapter that describes the reasons young adults no longer go to church. And then this idea slipped into my mind: instead of the traditional brick-and-mortar church, what if there were an on-line church? Maybe it could be a Facebook group, where people go to talk about Jesus. Would this be more appealing than a traditional church? Might this type of church be able to avoid the turn-offs of a traditional church?
Please let me know if there is such an on-line church. What do you think of the idea? Thanks.
CJ Penn's Online Writing Hangout 