CJ Penn's Online Writing Hangout

The reason I write: To promote Christian truth and help Jesus get His Christianity back.

Category Archives: Relationship With Jesus


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To Church, or Not to Church, That is the Question

“So, where do you go to church?” I use to hate that question. It’s been ten years since I attended the Presbyterian Church in town, and still, I run across people I sat next to in those pews, but haven’t seen since then. We bump into each other in the grocery store or coffee shop, and they always ask, “So CJ, where do you go to church now?”

I always felt awkward replying to the question, for I haven’t attended a regular church since leaving Presby. Oh, in my early days as a de-churched orphan, I test-drove other churches in town, but for reasons I don’t totally understand, I never felt like going back.

So my answer to the question usually starts with, “Well, um, you see. I don’t go to church. Haven’t since leaving Presby.”

My inquisitor usually gets that look, maybe you’ve seen it. Their face fills with concern and fear for my soul. They immediately believe I’ve left Christianity and jumped into the black pit of heathendom.

“However,” I truthfully add, “I feel closer to Jesus and God now than I ever have before.”

The look changes from concern and fear to confusion. How could that be, how could someone find closeness to God and Jesus without attending church? My fellow pew-sitter from the past and I usually part ways, with them still wondering about my soul (I suspect), and me felling I didn’t get my message across.

But now I have a better answer to the question.

Where do I go to church? Well, my Church doesn’t have a name, and there is no building. For me, Church is not a place—it’s a belief. When do I go to church? Whenever I want, and it’s not just Sunday. I go to church every day, any time of the day, whenever I can wrestle my thoughts away from the outside world and look inside, to Jesus within me.

Jesus tells us in the Bible that Church, the one true Church, is wherever His Spirit lives. In the Old Testament times, the Spirit of God resided in the Temple, in the back room called the Holy of Holies. But Jesus changed all that.

As He said, His Spirit now lives within all who believe in Him and believe what He promised. He promised that His Spirit would be IN us, and we IN Him. You’ve heard the phrase, you body is a Temple. So true, if you believe.

Look inside, to the Spirit of Jesus within you, and you will find the one true Church.

 

Here are some of my favorite Bible verses on the subject:

Jesus said, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.” (John 14:23)

He also said, “On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.” (John 14:20)

“Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? … for God’s temple is sacred, and you are that temple.” (1 Corinthians 3:16-17)

“And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.” (Ephesians 2:22)

“But Christ is faithful as a son over God’s house. And we are his house, if we hold on to our courage and the hope of which we boast.” (Hebrews 3:6)

As Jesus said, “Remain in me, and I will remain in you.” (John 15:4)


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Life Without Jesus is a Heart Attack

Everyone deals with stress and anxiety in their own way. And as we all know, there’s plenty of stressful stuff polluting our lives these days. Some people are stronger than others and can deal with stress on their own. I once thought I was one of the strong people. Not anymore.

I now look at some of the crap going on in my life and think, “You know Jesus, if you weren’t here with me right now, I would probably take this stuff too seriously and give myself a heart attack.” One thing Jesus’ presence in my life does for me is, He helps keep my priorities focused on Him, rather than all that meaningless stressful stuff.

How do you handle stress? Alone, or with help?

I thought of this today while reading Philippians: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)


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Surrender is Freedom

Dear Internet-browsing friend,

Surrender is a hard thing to do. It goes against our defensive and self-centered nature. But when you feel the reality of the actual Spirit of Jesus living within you; when you feel the certainty of His presence; when you feel the warmth of His love – then surrender will feel easy, and you’ll crave it.

Surrendering to an unseen God you may not be certain of – that’s hard. But when your feelings show you the certain presence of Jesus within you – surrender is easy. The more you know Jesus and His love for you, the more you will trust Him. And the more you trust Him, the more you will want to give your life to Him. After all, He’s better equipped to deal with life’s problems than any of us are.

And you will discover the absolute peace, freedom and joy that come with giving control of your life to Jesus. Surrendering to men is imprisonment. Surrendering to Jesus is freedom.

Though I don’t know your name, I pray for you. I pray that you will come to feel the undeniable presence of the Spirit of Jesus living within you.


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Finding Peace in the Face of Terror

(Beware – Jesus Christ inside. If you are uncomfortable with Christianity… well, I’ve warned you.)

 

Does the terror in the world frighten you? Though others share your fears, do you feel alone in your fear? Does it feel like you are standing alone against the fear that darkens your mood? Does it feel like we are fighting the same enemy, but each of us is alone in our private battle?

I think these questions make sense, for since fear is an internal and individual emotion, we cannot band together to combat our private fear.

Look, I’m no preacher. I’m just a regular afraid person, maybe a lot like you. But I’m not alone in my battle against my fears. Yet, because of what’s going on in the world, I’m concerned for everyone who feels the knot in their stomach pull tighter with each terrorist attack. I wish I could help people deal with the terror. Yet, as I said above, you are alone in your battle. I can’t join you there.

But someone can. Yes, this is where Jesus enters in.

No matter what you see on the surface of Christianity, the truth is that Christianity is all about a personal and intimate relationship with Jesus. He’s alive, as Spirit. His body died, but his soul lives. And he wants to live with you.

A relationship with Jesus gives you a real sense that you are never alone. Jesus can be with you, helping you battle your fears. And he can help you understand why the world seems to be falling apart. There are answers that make sense, once you see them.

Jesus can also show you how to escape your world, and enter his world, the inner-mind where his Spirit and your soul live. And that’s where you can find a peace that confounds the terror of the outer world.

Do you want to find a way to fight against the terrorists and their efforts to infect the world with an epidemic of fear? If so, look for Jesus in your inner-mind.

If Christianity is new to you, there are lots of great churches and Christians who can help you. But no matter what path you follow, what’s most important is your personal time with Jesus. Go to a quiet place, empty your mind of the distractions of the world, (this is the hardest part for me), and look inside your inner-mind. With practice, you may start to feel Jesus there. And together, the two of you can win the battle against your fear.

 

 

(Originally posted on Dec. 5, 2015)


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I am With You Always

Do you feel close to me, the Spirit of Jesus Christ living within you? Do you feel my presence? Have you grown to rely on me to be with you, always there when you need me? Do you feel the peace of our shared life together, our shared love together? Do you hunger and thirst for my presence, and do you feel a sting of panic if you don’t immediately sense me when you look my way?

One more question, a request really: imagine how you would feel if you looked for me and I was no longer there. Imagine what your life would be like without me.

If you feel a sense of utter, overpowering despair, then you have a small taste of how I felt when I died for you on that cross. For when I took the burden of the sins of humanity, my Father God and I were separated, no longer together, no longer one. His presence was gone. And I fell off that cross and into the black, empty void of despair… into hell.

But do not despair, for I will never leave you. I will always be with you.

“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)


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Freedom from Stress

The stress of work climbs onto your shoulders and tries to wrestle you to the ground.

Troubled relationships reach into your gut, mess with your nerves, and stir up an anxious soup of sickness.

The world around us is trembling with explosions and death.

Do you sometimes feel like a tortured prisoner of life?

You know what I’ll say next. Those of us who try to follow Jesus know where our freedom comes from, though it’s often hard to feel that freedom.

Close your eyes to the stress. Look away from your anxious feelings. And look to the Spirit of Jesus within you. He will calm your nerves and set you free.


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Beyond Church

Church is a great place to learn about God and Jesus, strengthen your faith, and establish long lasting relationships with new friends. But when it comes to your most important relationship, church can sometimes be a distraction. You’re relationship with Jesus is not established and strengthened in the midst of a crowd. You will find and feel your relationship with Jesus in your quiet time with Him.

In His instructions for how we should pray, Jesus said, “When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen.” (Matthew 6:6) That’s where we will find Jesus, in the quiet and solitude of our own private place.

Do you hunger for a stronger relationship with Jesus? Then look beyond church. Look to the quiet and solitude within your heart, for that is where the Spirit of Jesus lives.


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Imagine… Jesus at Your Side

Imagine what your life would be like with Jesus at your side. He’s there by your bed when you get up in the morning. He offers His hand and helps you out of bed – if you’re like me, you’re grateful for the help. He’s softly talking to you as you make your coffee, eat your breakfast, and brush your teeth.

He’s sitting next to you in the car as you drive to work. And He mentions His sorrow over the person who just cut you off, because He knows of all the grief that person is suffering. Though your can see Jesus sitting next to you, others cannot. So sorry, you cannot drive in the carpool lane.

Jesus is with you at work, never leaving your side. You chat about whatever comes to mind. He answers your questions and He gives you advice. And He warns you when your thinking starts to head in the wrong direction. And when your mind does go to the dark side, and you get in an argument with a co-worker, imagine Jesus there to help you let go of those dark thoughts. He comforts you, and if you feel you need forgiveness, He forgives you… always. And when you get distracted by other things and lose sight of Jesus, when you turn back, He’s always there, right beside you. All day. Every day.

Imagine Jesus with you as you go home. He sits with you as you eat your dinner. He lounges with you as you watch TV. And when you go to sleep, He pulls up a chair and sits down right beside your bed. He’s holding your hand as you drift off to sleep.

Now believe that this is real. For this is the relationship Jesus hopes we have with His Holy Spirit. Yet closer than by your side, Jesus’ Spirit is here to live within you.

So today, imagine… Jesus at your side.

 

(And maybe come back here later and leave a comment about how your day went.)


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The Passion Behind My Writing

ghost writer

The world is screwed up – from the other side of the globe, all the way around to the street where I live. I often whine to myself, and God, about all the pain and suffering and craziness I see in the world. I believe all this messiness comes from the natural brokenness of our humanity. It’s an unchangeable characteristic of our species – we’re naturally screwed up.

Now I can’t change our messed up human nature. All I can do is try to change how I cope and react to the messiness. And I just realized that everything I write – my blog posts and the books I’m writing – are just me sharing my methods for coping. And by sharing, my hope is that others will benefit from what I’ve written. Maybe my methods will work for you too.

This is my passion: to help people find their own ability to cope with our messed up humanity, to endure the pain and craziness of this world, and to find their methods for coping in their relationship with Jesus Christ.

So if you too feel the burden of being a part of a messed up race of broken humans, if you feel that life in this world is out of control, and if you sometimes struggle with how to cope with it all, then please visit again. Maybe I’ll share something that will help you too.


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Blogging Friends

My blog friends filled my thoughts as I filled my mug with coffee this morning. We’ve never met in person, but I see you whenever you “like” or comment on one of my posts. I smile when I see your familiar name and image show up in my email, announcing your visit to my blog. I feel we know each other in a small way.

And as I thought of you this morning, I became filled with gratitude. I’m grateful for you and your visits. I’m grateful for your friendship, unconventional as it is. And I’m grateful for Jesus, for He brought us together. It was our mutual relationships with Jesus that connected us via this intangible, untouchable realm called the Internet.

And now I’m thinking… Jesus is all about relationships, and friendships. He promised He will be our friend, if we believe in Him. And I now see Him using manmade things such as the Internet to help make other friendships, such as yours and mine. That’s kind of cool.

But back to my original thought… thank you blogging friend. Thanks for your visits. I hope you have a great day.

CJ


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Finding Peace in the Face of Terror

San Berdo Terrorism

(Beware – Jesus Christ inside. If you are uncomfortable with Christianity… well, I’ve warned you.)

Does the terror in the world frighten you? Though others share your fears, do you feel alone in your fear? Does it feel like you are standing alone against the fear that darkens your mood? Does it feel like we are fighting the same enemy, but each of us is alone in our private battle?

I think these questions make sense, for since fear is an internal and individual emotion, we cannot band together to combat our private fear.

Look, I’m no preacher. I’m just a regular afraid person, maybe a lot like you. But I’m not alone in my battle against my fears. Yet, because of what’s going on in the world, I’m concerned for everyone who feels the knot in their stomach pull tighter with each terrorist attack. I wish I could help people deal with the terror. Yet, as I said above, you are alone in your battle. I can’t join you there.

But someone can. Yes, this is where Jesus enters in.

No matter what you see on the surface of Christianity, the truth is that Christianity is all about a personal and intimate relationship with Jesus. He’s alive, as Spirit. His body died, but his soul lives. And he wants to live with you.

A relationship with Jesus gives you a real sense that you are never alone. Jesus can be with you, helping you battle your fears. And he can help you understand why the world seems to be falling apart. There are answers that make sense, once you see them.

Jesus can also show you how to escape your world, and enter his world, the inner-mind where his Spirit and your soul live. And that’s where you can find a peace that confounds the terror of the outer world.

Do you want to find a way to fight against the terrorists and their efforts to infect the world with an epidemic of fear? If so, look for Jesus in your inner-mind.

If Christianity is new to you, there are lots of great churches and Christians who can help you. But no matter what path you follow, what’s most important is your personal time with Jesus. Go to a quiet place, empty your mind of the distractions of the world, (this is the hardest part for me), and look inside your inner-mind. With practice, you may start to feel Jesus there. And together, the two of you can win the battle against your fear.


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The Barrier of Life

Prison wall

Life often feels like a barrier between God and me.

The distractions that battle for my attention block my view of Jesus.

Even though His Spirit is always here with me,

within me, so close to me …

I often cannot see Him or feel His presence.

Life is ever hungry, craving every thought.

Yet I’m hungry too.

I hunger and thirst for Jesus,

for a sense of His companionship,

His presence.

I’m sometimes torn in two.

Part of me despises life and it’s struggle for my full attention,

it’s battle against my love of Jesus.

But the other part of me is so grateful for life.

I cannot fully appreciate something unless I’ve first lived without it.

Yes, for now life is a barrier between God and me.

But when that barrier is gone, and my fuzzy view of Jesus comes into bright focus,

my heart will burst with love and gratitude.

And my dammed up tears of joy will finally flow as a river.

This mortal life and all it’s struggles,

will help me appreciate life with God so much more.


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Being a WWJD Christian

WWJD

Do you want to be an imitator of God? “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children.” (Ephesians 5:1) Do you want to be a WWJD Christian, every moment doing what Jesus would do? You can’t… on your own.

The only way you can is to let Jesus live within you, doing what He would do through you. You can be a WWJD Christian if you let Him. But it’s not “What Would Jesus Do,” as if you are trying to imitate Him. It’s “What Will Jesus Do,” as He lives and acts and speaks from within you – His Holy Spirit sharing your body, mind, and soul. We can be more than imitators of God. And I’m so grateful.


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Jesus is my Rock

Jesus rock

Sometimes. No, make that several times a day… I feel stressed out, especially at work. Even now, in the peace of the early morning, I can feel the stress, usually from anticipation of work. This stress feels like a liquid poison, poured into this vessel named CJ Penn. Sometimes it’s just a bit of poison; other times it feels like I’m overflowing.

Until I remember Jesus. He is like my Rock, dropped into this vessel CJ, pushing the poison of stress out. I feel Him enter into my thoughts, and the poison flows away. When Jesus fills me, there is no room for the poison of stress.

Stress is indeed a poison, for it can make our life sick. But even when surrounded by a stressful day, with Jesus on the inside, the stress remains on the outside, unable to poison my heart and mind and soul.

Thank you so much dear Jesus… my Rock.


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Jesus on the Edge

I just got back from the grocery store. Got my leg ‘o lamb for our Easter dinner. And, check out this picture of the magazine rack in the check-out line…

 Jesus magazine

At first I didn’t know what to think about it. Jesus, next to a wine tasting mag, and right across the little isle was another magazine rack, next to the candy and gum, filled with glamour model’s cleavage and movie stars cellulite. At first, it all seemed odd to me… a bit edgy.

But what would Jesus think about hanging out with wine lovers, glamour models and movie stars? I think He’d consider that tame, especially compared with some of the crowd He used to hang out with. While He walked the roads of Israel, Jesus seemed to spend more time with lowlife’s, prostitutes, hated tax collectors and other sinners. Jesus lived on the edge of “acceptable” society. So I think Jesus would be okay with the placement of His manmade image on a magazine in the grocery check-out isle.

I hope you all have a great Easter. CJ


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Dear Jesus

surrender

Dear Jesus, you gave your life for me,

you suffered for me, you died for me.

And then your Spirit came back to earth,

and now you live within me, sharing my life with me.

I’m not alone.

You’re always here, within.

Yet I fear I may be too accustomed to your presence.

Do I take you for granted? Oh, I hope not.

Dear Jesus, please help me feel the true meaning,

the true power and peace of living with You within me.

I long for a tear.

Those moments when my heart gets a clear glimpse of you within me –

those moments when an un-looked-for tear swells within my eye.

When my heart sees you clearly, my eyes become blurred.

Dear Jesus, oh how I long to see you more clearly;

oh how I long to see the true meaning of You within me;

oh how I long to weep a bucket of tears, for you.

Tears of joy, tears of gratitude, tears of love.

Tears that soften my heart and open me up, to you.

Dear Jesus, I love you more than my dry eyes show.

I long for the moments when I see your true love,

and then my tears show you my true love.

Dear Jesus, thank you for this day, a good day, a Good Friday.


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What Does it Mean to be Christian?

unChristian

I didn’t expect to start my Friday with a sad discovery. But that’s what I found as I again picked up the book I just started reading, “unChristian; What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity… and Why it Matters,” by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons. This book is based on extensive research by the Barna Group, where they conducted studies to find out what “outsiders” feel about Christians and Christianity.

I’m struggling to find the words to convey what I’m thinking, without coming across as judgmental. By the way, 87% of young adults see Christians as judgmental.

Anyway, the results of one particular survey question left me feeling sad… sad for Christians and Christian churches. The surveyors asked born-again Christians to describe what the most important priorities are for being a Christian. The top of the list was being good and not sinning, followed by discipleship, evangelism, worship, relationships with others, service and stewardship. What made me sad is that I don’t see the most important thing about being a Christian.

Yet who am I to say? I’m no expert. I’m just a flawed human like everyone else. How do I give my answer to this question about being Christian without sounding snotty and arrogant? I don’t know, so I’ll just go for it.

I believe the most important priority for being a Christian is a personal and intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ. I believe the most important good deed or form of worship is to give your life, to surrender your “self” to the Holy Spirit, to give control to the Spirit. As Paul said in his letter to those in Rome…

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship.” (Romans 12:1)

The entire Bible is about a personal relationship with God, especially the New Testament. But it looks like Christian churches have not made that clear. And Christians suffer because of that. This too makes me sad.


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Me, The Worst of Sinners

I can relate to the Apostle Paul. Though I’ve never persecuted Christians as Paul did before Jesus burst into his life, I used to see Christians as weird and I’d sometimes criticize them. Then I became one. But before Jesus burst into my life, I was a pretty sinful person – mainly the fun type of sins. Fortunately, I avoided the violent stuff.

Anyway, I was reading Paul’s first letter to Timothy this morning, and came across another verse that’s easy for me to see myself in: “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.” (1 Timothy 1:15-16)

I believe I know how Paul felt, for Jesus has shown mercy and unlimited patience to me. And His mercy and patience are for you too.


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Just Want to See the Kids

To be Dad

I asked my wife what she wants for her birthday. “I just want to see my children,” was her reply. Closeness with her kids is more important than “things.” So, my eldest son and his wife, and my youngest son and his longtime girlfriend, will all come from out of town to be home this weekend.

Last night the small group I’m in finished reading “The Good and Beautiful Life,” by James Bryan Smith. The final chapter is all about having a relationship with God. And the message is clear: what’s most important to God is not “things,” like good deeds and following rules. What God wants most from us is a relationship. What our heavenly Parent wants most is to see His children, and to have time with His children.

I’ve long believed that if you want to see the nature of God, just look at any loving parent and how they feel toward their children. My wife and her love for her children is indeed an image of God. She just wants to have time with her kids, and so does God.

And to go “home” to see our Father God is not an out-of-town journey. Just look inside yourself, for He lives with your soul.


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I Surrender

surrender 2

Life can be wretched sometimes. Work can be a place of misery, feeling more like a prison; we don’t want to be there, but we must be there, we have no choice, for we need the money in order to pay the bills and make a living. “Living”… that’s almost a cruel joke, for it sometimes doesn’t feel like much of a life.

And then there’s our life outside of work, sometimes filled with relationships in turmoil. And don’t forget the mundane things, like the car that breaks down, the leaky faucet, the broken light fixture, the computer virus, with new problems always ready to replace those that get fixed.

And the worry list gets longer as sleep gets shorter. Is this how life was meant to be?

As most of us see it, we have two choices. Some choose the path of total escape… suicide. Most of us choose to not give up, but rather trudge our way through life, trying to make the best of what we have. Yet there’s a third choice. We can surrender.

Surrender your life to Jesus. Let Him have your life. Let Him deal with your problems. Let Him go to work for you. Let Him take on your worry list. Let Him have your mind, body, heart, and soul. Let Jesus live your life, through you.

The great irony is, once you surrender to Jesus, that’s when you will truly live. That’s when you will find true joy. Surrender isn’t easy, but it’s easier and better than the other two choices.