Jesus prepared His disciples to spread His truth by telling them as much as they could handle, as much as the spoken word can communicate to an open mind. However, He wanted to tell them more, as He said: “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear” (John 16:12). Jesus then promised: “But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth” (verse 13, emphasis added).
Again, reading the Bible or listening to sermons isn’t enough. Complete truth only comes from a personal relationship with the Holy Spirit, for the Holy Spirit speaks to us at a level far beyond the reach of reading, listening, human vocabulary, and human reasoning. And as Jesus also said:
“When the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, namely, the Spirit of truth who comes from the Father, He will testify about Me.” (John 15:26 NASB)
In the movie A Few Good Men, there’s a climactic moment near the end of the court martial scene. In response to Tom Cruise’s character demanding, “I want the truth!” Jack Nicholson’s character shouts, “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!” Without the help of the Holy Spirit, we can’t handle the truth. It’s scope and meaning won’t be fully grasped by our limited minds. Yet the Spirit of truth will open our minds to the truth:
“It is the Spirit who testifies, because the Spirit is the truth.” (1 John 5:6 NASB)
I’d read it before, though never in a coffee shop. With my medium coffee in hand—being a bit of a rebel, I refuse to say Grande, or whatever they call it—I plopped down at a table and opened my Bible to chapter 7 of Paul’s letter to the Romans. He was complaining about himself: “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. … I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. … Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:15, 18-19,24 NRSV). Sound familiar? It does to me.
Often in my relationships with God and others, I know what I want to do, but I cannot do it. Not enough self-control. Who will rescue me from my wretched self-out-of-control? Here’s how Paul began to answer his own question:
“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. … You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you.” (Romans 8:6, 9)
While in grammar school, my friend Gary let me ride his mini motorcycle. Gary sat behind me while I took control (yah, right). I followed a dirt track over rises and through dips, with twists and turns and loose gravel, and I lost control, and we ended up in a pond. Really.
For me, that is a good picture of life. There are twists, turns, dips, temptations, frustrations, hardships, etc., and sometimes we lose control. Sometimes we crash. Yet we have a choice. Instead of trying to govern ourselves and steer ourselves through life, we could give the Holy Spirit control and let Him drive. We could then sit back, wrap our arms around Him, relax, and enjoy the ride. However, the Spirit won’t take control—I must surrender it to Him. Until I do, He’ll take the backseat and patiently wait for me to accept that I’m a wretched, out-of-control driver.
In my early churchgoing years, I pictured Jesus in heaven, no longer involved in the battle down here in the trenches. He’d done His tour of duty and was now sitting out the rest of the war. I never gave much thought to the Holy Spirit, as the only times it was mentioned in church was in prayers or songs that included Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
The Holy Spirit is a facet of God who’s often more mystery than reality. For a long time, I ignored the Holy Spirit, considering it a third-rate entity, the silent partner of the Holy Trinity. However, who was I ignoring? Well, according to Paul:
“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” (2 Corinthians 3:17 NRSV)
“God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts.” (Galatians 4:6 NIV)
“You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ.” (Romans 8:9 NIV, emphasis added)
So, the Holy Spirit is both the Spirit of God and the Spirit of Jesus—not someone I want to ignore. But wait! What about that last sentence in Romans 8:9? Is Paul saying that anyone who ignores the Holy Spirit isn’t a true Christian? Hmm, that could explain a lot.
Ignoring that volatile question (for now), what’s the Holy Spirit do, what’s His purpose? The third member of the Holy Trinity must have some kind of holy purpose, right? As I quoted Jesus at the end of the last chapter, the Spirit will guide us into all truth, which is something we could all use more of these days. As if that’s not enough, there’s this promise from Paul:
“You were sealed in Him [Jesus] with the Holy Spirit of the promise, who is a first installment of our inheritance.” (Ephesians 1:13-14 NASB)
A first installment of our inheritance? What inheritance? Does life with the Spirit here on earth give us a preview of the life waiting for us with God in heaven? Again, that’s not something I want to ignore. With all that’s going on in this crazy world, I could use some heaven-on-earth right now.
Anyway, when Jesus returned to heaven, I suspect He knew that those He left in charge needed help, or His budding Church would wither and die. Attacks against Christianity began immediately, and enemies soon included the Roman Empire. Therefore, Jesus sent His Spirit to help protect His newborn Church. Some people believe that once Christianity survived those initial attacks and gained strength, the Spirit walked away from the battle. Yet, as Jesus said,
“I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, so that He may be with you forever; the Helper is the Spirit of truth.” (John 14:16-17 NASB, emphasis added)
The Holy Spirit hasn’t abandoned the war. He’s still in the trenches, for those willing to look for Him.
Some modern churches preach that Jesus came to condemn those who don’t follow the rules, God’s and their rules. Now, Jesus indeed came to condemn, but not us rule-breakers. As John said,
“The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work.” (1 John 3:8)
Satan has long held potent influence over humanity. He’s the designer of false versions of Christianity, the author of all lies, the patron of the graffiti hiding God’s truth. Jesus came to condemn Satan, destroy his work, and set us free from Satan’s influence. Isaiah foresaw this when he stated that Jesus would come … “to open the eyes that are blind, to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison those who sit in darkness” (Isaiah 42:7 NRSV).
Imagine all humanity held captive in a dark prison, where Satan is the warden. We’re blinded by Satan’s lightless influence. Most people don’t know that they’re prisoners, because they don’t realize that there’s another world out there. All most of us know is this chaotic prison-world we live in, when all along God offers another option.
Now, Jesus didn’t come to condemn us because of our captivity. Rather, He came to open our eyes and free us from our captivity. As Jesus said of Himself:
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free,” (Luke 4:18 NRSV)
“For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but so that the world might be saved through Him.” (John 3:17 NASB)
Jesus came to testify to the truth, and it’s His truth that opens our eyes and sets us free. “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).
The Jesus some of us imagine is the Hollywood Jesus: stoic, mild mannered, soft-spoken, somewhat dull and emotionless. Yet as the stories in the Bible make clear, Jesus was no otherworldly droid, immune to human emotions and pain, shuffling about dispensing miracles.
There’s a story about a man suffering from leprosy: “While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, ‘Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean’” (Luke 5:12). Those stricken with leprosy were outcasts. People would have avoided this man. It may have been years since someone had touched him, since a hand had rested on his shoulder in a moment of comfort. “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean,” he said to Jesus. He didn’t doubt Jesus’ ability, only His willingness to heal him. It had been that long since this man felt kindness and compassion from another person.
We know from other stories that Jesus could have instantly healed the man with a simple command, like “be healed.” However, Jesus did something different. He did something radical. Jesus first gave the man what he needed most.
Picture the man on his knees with his face to the ground, perhaps afraid to look up, perhaps afraid he’d see Jesus turn His back on him and walk away. Now picture Jesus kneeling down in front of the man, and then … “Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man” (verse 13). I like to picture Jesus gently squeezing the man’s shoulder, followed by the man tentatively lifting his head and looking up. Seeing the compassion in Jesus’ face and feeling it in the hand on his shoulder, tears well up in the man’s eyes, run down his leprosy-scarred cheeks and into his beard.
The point is, for the first time in perhaps years, another person touched this lonely, outcast of a human being. Jesus gave the man what he needed most—love and compassion. In the midst of the emotion swelling within the man, Jesus then said, “I am willing. Be clean,” and the man was immediately healed of leprosy.
I never understood the sadness until my own children were grown and out on their own. But giving me a preview of coming emotions, my mom showed me how sad she would become every time I left home after a weekend visit. I thought she was being overly emotional. I now share her feelings whenever my sons leave after a visit home.
My wife and I miss those days when our sons lived at home; we miss the closeness, and being a part of each other’s lives. My purposes in my relationships with my sons have evolved as they’ve grown from babies into men. However, one thing that never changes is my overwhelming desire to be with them and to show my love for them.
God is patient, kind, compassionate, humble, unbiased, all-forgiving, and protective—such is God’s character. God’s primary purpose, the one that His character and other purposes point to, is to live with us and express His unconditional love for us. God’s purpose is to have His children return home. As Jesus said, “and we will come to them and make our home with them.” And God makes a way for us to return, to the way it was in the beginning, before Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden of Eden. As Andrew Murray said:
“When God established the plan of redemption, His objective was to restore man to the place from which he had fallen.” 1
To restore us to the place from which humanity had fallen, to bring His children back home—this is what salvation, God’s ultimate purpose, is all about.
“My Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.” (John 6:40)
“For God has destined us not for wrath but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Thessalonians 5:9 NRSV)
Like Neo in the movie The Matrix, was I living in a world of deception? Neo was an unwitting prisoner in a computer-generated, virtual reality world—the Matrix. While Neo may have suspected something was wrong with his reality, he didn’t know there was another world out there, the real world, beyond the virtual world of his experience. Then Morpheus, another Matrix character, called Neo to wake up to the truth.
About twenty years ago, I first suspected I was living in a human-generated version of Christianity, where though it was put forth as true to what Jesus lived and taught, it wasn’t. I began to sense another Christianity out there, a real Christianity, beyond the Christianity of my experience. And it felt like Morpheus was calling me to wake up to the truth, a truth hidden beneath the graffiti of church history and human nature.
I struggled through those years, trying to understand what I was feeling and why. At first, I didn’t know what to do about my feelings, or how to respond to that imagined Morpheus voice. Then, realizing that “Christianity” and “Christian” are manmade terms subject to human definition and manipulation, I felt a growing desire to know how Jesus would define Christianity. What would Jesus say it means to be a Christian? So, I listened to the voice.
Eventually, a new image seeped into my mind, an image that helped solidify my resolve to search for the truth of Christianity. Picture a Bible resting on a table. The Bible—the collection of historical documents that defines Jesus’ version of Christianity—was compiled a few centuries after Jesus showed us His Christianity. Then, as the centuries ticked by, men added other books.
Where Jesus’ Christianity and what it means to be Christian is defined by God’s word as recorded in the Bible, manmade versions of Christianity are often defined and governed by those manmade rulebooks. Now, looking at that pile of books, where’s Jesus’ Christianity?
Stepping back to take in the bigger picture painted by the Bible, a new question snuck in. Why? Why are we the way we are? Why is there so much evil in the world? Why is life sometimes so difficult? Why is peace with each other, and even with God, sometimes so unattainable? And why is it so hard to believe? Without falling too deeply into philosophical notions, I guess I just wanted to know what life’s all about—the elusive meaning of life.
So much of life felt either meaningless or perilous. I wanted something solid and unchanging to hold onto, a safe place in the midst of this conspiracy-theory-dominated, truth-starved, war-rattled, chaotic world. I was craving meaning and a purpose I could believe in without fear and doubts, and I wasn’t finding that in the church I was attending.
Then it happened, a situation at church. I mean, this was a big deal. It wounded me and left me confused. That’s not true Christianity, is it? I kept asking myself. That can’t be what Jesus has in mind. The episode added to my sense of a false Christianity, a Christianity matrix that had been holding me, and those sitting in the pews next to me, captive.
I have friends who found freedom from similar situations by quitting Christianity. I wasn’t interested in going that far. Instead, I quit that church. I visited other churches around town, yet nothing felt right, and I didn’t know why. The whole experience was disorienting and depressing. I eventually decided to go it alone. However, as I later learned, I was never truly alone.
Soon after becoming a church refugee, I began spending all my spare time searching for the truth about the way of life that Jesus lived and taught, what I call Jesus’ Christianity. I suspected I’d find it somewhere under the false Christianity that held me captive. Something told me it was there, like Morpheus sending me that cryptic message, “Wake up CJ. Manmade Christianity has you.”
Entering the campus of Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland, my wife and I followed the herd of other tourists through Library Square when I looked up to see a large sign saying, “Falsehood flies, and truth comes limping after it,” by Jonathan Swift. Yes, it seems that in our society, falsehoods often prevail far more than truth. What matters most to some people is who said something, rather than the trustworthiness of what they said. For many people, truth is whatever they decide it to be. But remembering that Jonathan Swift quote has fueled my desire to give truth—that is, Jesus’ truth as defined in the Bible—a shoulder to lean on, especially when many people are kicking it in the shins.
As I stepped off on my own journey many years ago, there was a new question loitering in my mind. Jesus had said, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). But, free from what? I suspected there was something more than freedom from wounds and captivity to a manmade Christianity. I suspected there was something else holding me prisoner that I wasn’t aware of … like the matrix.
So, now it’s decision time. Will you stop here and remain captive to a distorted, manmade image of Christianity, a Christianity that may be blinding you to the truth? Or, will you follow me at least a little farther on this journey to uncover the truth? For Matrix fans, this is the blue pill or red pill moment. And like Morpheus said, all I’m offering you is the truth. Nothing more.
Jesus said, “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.” (John 14:16-17)
Yes, for many of us these are anxious times—no need for details. But what if you knew and felt the presence of the Holy Spirit within you? We need never be alone in dealing with this life we’re emersed in. We need never be alone in our anxiety.
Try this: Envision the Spirit within you as the Spirit of God or the Spirit of Jesus, whoever is most comfortable for you—they are both the same Spirit. Conjure up an image in your mind. Look, He’s smiling at you, with a soft, gentle smile, a smile filled with love. Hold onto that image and go back to that image as you venture through your day.
“Ever consider Christianity? To help with the stress?
“What!? Are you kidding!? Christianity’s part of the problem. Look at all the Christians who voted for the guy. And then there’s the whole Christian Nationalism thing.”
“No, not that Christianity—I mean, that’s not really Christianity. I’m talking about the way of life that Jesus promoted … before men got ahold of it and splattered it with their self-centered ideas.”
“A Jesus Christianity? Really? Is there such a thing, and do you think it would help? I mean, help me deal with all the crap that’s going on?”
“It helps me.”
“Hmm. Okay, sure. I’m game. So how do I learn about this Jesus Christianity?”
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“Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity”
Paul said, “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” (2 Corinthians 3:17)
Feeling the grip of anxiety? Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom from that grip. Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to live within us, to share our bodies with our souls—it’s the promise He left us with. All we have to do is believe His promise, and desire His living presence in our lives.
In referring to God, King David said, “Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and joy are in his dwelling place.” (1 Chronicles 16:27)
And as Jesus said, “Those who love me will keep my word, and my Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.” (John 14:23)
You can be God’s dwelling place. And where God dwells, there is strength and joy, just what many of us need right now.
God dwells in us via His Holy Spirit. Not as an ethereal concept, but as the actual and living Spirit of God and Jesus, sharing your body with your soul, filling you with strength and joy. Now that’s freedom from anxiety.
Since January 20th my anxiety periodically rises to gut-churning and chest-clenching levels. It’s Trump’s actions and decisions—I was hoping for less chaos. How do you feel about what’s going on in the US and the world right now? Do you suffer from Trump-induced anxiety? Are you looking for relief?
Have you ever considered Christianity, though not the Christianity most of us are exposed to? I’m talking about a Christianity that, rather than being a relationship with a manmade church, is an intimate and personal relationship with the Spirit of God.
Look, the way of life that Jesus lived and taught, the way that was eventually labeled “Christianity,” well, that way now suffers from being tainted by 2000 years of human influence. These days, some churches are influenced more by man than God. Yet, have you considered Jesus’ Christianity, the Christianity where the Holy Spirit hasn’t been usurped by the ways of men? You see, the soul of Jesus’ Christianity is the living presence of the Holy Spirit within you.
You can see Jesus’ Christianity in the Bible. It was the Bible, not a church, that first introduced me to the Holy Spirit—not as an ethereal concept, but as life force living within me. The Spirit of God and my soul now share this body I inhabit. And it’s feeling the presence of God and Jesus within me that stifles rising feelings of anxiety. Jesus promised us a peace that goes beyond our ability to understand. That peace comes from His Spirit living within us. I’ve felt that peace.
The Bible will introduce you to the Holy Spirit. He’s there, waiting to read along with you. So, my recommendation for anyone suffering from anxiety is to make some time each morning to open a Bible, open your mind, and shut out the world. And though it may take time to actually feel His presence, look for the Holy Spirit within you.
But if opening the Bible feels daunting or unappealing for some reason, here’s a book that may be easier for you to read: “Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity.” This book looks beneath the 2000-year accumulation of the graffiti of man, to the Holy Spirit and Jesus’ untainted Christianity. You can find the book on Amazon.com.
Enemies crowd the battlefront, trying to push my buttons and send me into an anxious tailspin. The world is a mess, and I sometimes let it get to me. (I had a list here of my anxiety triggers, but deleted it because I don’t want to accidentally trigger anyone else’s anxiety.) However, there is a way to win the battle.
I’ve tried alcohol, but often with pangs of guilt and fear—fear of losing control and letting the alcohol win. I feel my own weakness, and alcoholism has existed in my family. More recently I’ve tried an herbal supplement that’s supposed to promote calm. I know it’s helpful for some, but I’m not sure if it’s helped me—nothing noticeable, yet. I’ve also tried CBD gummies. I know several people who use CBD to help them deal with anxiety. I’ve felt some effect, but not enough, and I’m hesitant to increase the dosage.
Yet there’ve been times when I’ve found freedom from anxiety—I mean complete freedom. It’s like a wave of peace and calm rolls over me. It’s a warm fuzzy blanket on a cold day. And the thing is, even though I’m frequently consumed by anxiety, I know how to live without it.
I’ve known for a long time. It’s just that sometimes I forget. For me, the trick is to let go of the worldly worries and instead hold onto the presence of God within me. Look, Jesus calls us to be in this world, but not of this world, to not be worldly. I sometimes obsess over what’s going on in this world, and my periodic obsessions feed my anxiety. But the feeling of God’s presence sets me free from the worries of the world.
I could write pages about this. Actually, I already did, within a book I recently published. But for this post I’ll just try to encourage you to look away from the world and all it’s chaos. Instead, quiet your mind and pray, for prayer is where you’ll find God. Focus your mind and heart on the Spirit of God and Jesus within you. If you believe, He’s there, waiting to reach out and spiritually hug you. Expect nothing from yourself—expect everything from God. And take note of what Jesus said:
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)
Are you fighting your own battle against anxiety? If so, I strongly recommended you read the gospel of John, especially chapters 14, 15, 16, and 17. And along with Paul, I encourage you, …
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)
Whether Christian or not, have you ever wondered about the validity of the Christianity you’ve seen and experienced? Have you ever wondered if that’s how it’s really supposed to be? Have you ever been curious about how true Christianity—that is, the Christianity that Jesus Christ lived and taught—might differ from the Christianity you’ve experienced?
You can find answers, and the truth, in the book, “Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity.”
Many people who end up leaving church started out looking for something, something they perhaps couldn’t find in their traditional church experience. So, they left. Sensing that the Christianity I’d been experiencing was influenced more by man than God, and desiring true Christianity rather than some manmade version, many years ago I left church. Without having to look beyond the Bible, I then stepped off on a journey in search of answers, understanding, and a relationship with God that I couldn’t find while attending church.
It’s been about 18 years since I began my journey. Along the way I wrote a book, “Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity.” My book is a record of what I found when I peered beneath the accumulated graffiti of the past 2000 years, graffiti painted by church history and human nature—graffiti in the form of manmade rules, doctrines, beliefs, and traditions.
While writing this book, I found the answers and understanding I’d been looking for, I found healing and recovery from my de-churching experience, and I found a relationship with God and Jesus that’s far beyond anything I was looking for. I hope this book will similarly help those who read it.
If you’re curious about the book, please check it out on Amazon. The “Read sample” selection for the Kindle version is generous. For some weird reason, the paperback “Read sample” selection is small—Amazon quirk, I guess.
Get to know Jesus in a way you may not have experienced before. See Him from a new perspective. Hear His story as told by the nameless who followed Him along the roads of ancient Israel.
Do you feel surrounded by stress-inducers? Take world events—I don’t need to mention which ones might be causing you stress. You know what they are. At least we’re not under attack by another pandemic.
Some look to their religion for stress relief. But what if that’s not doing it for you? Take Christianity for example. What if your experience with Christianity isn’t giving you the peace you’re looking for, the answers you’re looking for, or the sense of God’s presence and protection you may be looking for?
Look, Jesus Christ created a masterpiece when He lived and taught what came to be called Christianity. Then, over the centuries, men splattered graffiti on that masterpiece, graffiti in the form of manmade rules, doctrines, beliefs, and traditions. Today, the manmade sometimes obscures the God-made to the point where, in some Christian circles, Jesus’ masterpiece is barely visible.
Sensing that the Christianity I’d been experiencing was influenced more by man than God, many years ago I left church and stepped off on a multi-year journey in search of the masterpiece. My newly-published book, “Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity,” is a record of what I found when I peered beneath the accumulated graffiti of the past 2000 years, graffiti painted by church history and human nature.
I found the masterpiece. And in that masterpiece, I found the peace I’d always been looking for, the answers I’d been looking for, and God’s presence in my life in a way that’s far beyond anything I’d been looking for. By seeing Jesus’ masterpiece as revealed in my book, maybe you can find what you’ve been looking for.
CJ Penn's Online Writing Hangout 