CJ Penn's Online Writing Hangout

The reason I write: To promote Christian truth and help Jesus get His Christianity back.

Tag Archives: God


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Instead of Looking Forward, Look Inside

Standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, I’m thinking about what I’ll do once I get home. While putting away groceries, I’m thinking about that broken garbage disposal I need to replace – I hate plumbing jobs. And I’ve never installed a garbage disposal. I’ll put that off until tomorrow, though I’m sure I’ll think more about it today.

But my problem is not the garbage disposal, or other chores, or the book I wish I had time to read, or the writing I’d rather be doing. My problem is where my mind tends to live … in the future. Most of the time my mind is thinking about what comes next. My body is in the present, but my mind is somewhere else.

Then this morning it occurred to me: I’m missing out on life. By choosing to let my mind live in the future, it’s leaving behind the true life that is now. It’s like I’m stepping out of reality to live in another dimension of fantasy (sounds like I’m on drugs). This train of thought is quickly becoming a bit deep for me. But I like where it’s taking me.

“Now” is where real people live. Now is where the truth lives. Now is where reality lives. Now is where peace lives, for the future is often full of worry. And most importantly for me, now is where God lives. Now and here within me is where the Spirit of Jesus lives.

When my mind runs to the future, I usually leave Jesus behind. I think that’s a reason I often feel stressed – the future is full of stress, yet I leave the peace of Jesus back in my present.

But I now see more clearly the power of living in the present. When my mind begins to drift off to what comes next, I can remind myself to pull it back and instead focus on this present moment. The tick of the clock. The whistling bird outside. The gentle rain. This blog post I’m writing. The cozy feel of the turtleneck sweater on my neck. And the peaceful feel of the Spirit of Jesus within me.

Where does your mind tend to live? Do you leave behind good times so your mind can focus on uncertain times? If you’re like me, I encourage you to tackle that mind of yours and pull it back to now. And then, instead of looking forward, look inside. That’s where Jesus lives.


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Imagination – It’s Feeding Me – It’s Killing Me

Oh, my imagination helps me in my job, and it often feeds my writing. It’s my minds eye, conjuring up images within my thoughts. Yet it also leads me down paths of worry, and pulls me back into the stress pit.

My imagination hungers for my attention. It often devours hours of time. Precious time which can never be regained, wasted thinking about things that will never happen, or have already happened. What my imagination gives in return is stress.

And my imagination distracts me from Jesus and God. Yet when steered in the right direction, my imagination sees Jesus’ Spirit within me, sharing my life with me.

My imagination – I love it and I hate it. Dear Jesus, please help me keep my minds eye focused on You.


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The Last Prayer

I’ve been reading the gospel of John, again. It’s my favorite of the four gospels. This morning I read chapter 17. And a reality that I’ve seen before hit me in a fresh way – I love it when Jesus does that to me.

In the last section, Jesus is praying for all “those who will believe in me (Jesus) through their (Apostles) message.” (verse 20) He’s praying for all Christians, including me. Well, that reality began to stir my emotions. And then the last verse in chapter 17 knocked me over…

“Righteous Father, … I have made you know to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” (verse 26)

My first though was that this was Jesus’ final prayer before He was arrested, chained, tortured, and dragged to His death. But then I remembered that He prayed again in the olive grove just before His arrest, and then again while hanging on the cross.

Though verse 26 isn’t Jesus’ final prayer, it still amazes me that even so close to the torture that awaited Him, Jesus could care so much about all Christians who would come after Him. And His prayer was that He Himself would be in us… His Holy Spirit living in all who believe!

So close to death and Jesus thinks of those who would follow 2000 years later. I’m humbly grateful and I want to honor Jesus and His prayer by opening myself to His Spirit.

Dear Jesus, come on in.


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A Love in His Image

Painfully obvious fact: being a parent isn’t always easy. A parent’s love for their children can be so huge, it almost hurts. And as I think about it, this parent-child relationship is really unique.

Yesterday was my younger son’s 26th birthday, and I thought about our relationship a lot during the day. I thought about the bond we have. I believe this bond is partly rooted in the mundane fact that he is biologically made up of parts of his mom and me – his DNA comes from us. I think it’s that biological bond that feeds my emotional bond… somehow.

Whether it’s the DNA thing or something else that creates this bond, the feeling is real and often intense. I sometimes don’t know how to express the love I feel for my sons, a love that I think gets a lot of its strength from this bond we have.

But why does this kind of love sometimes hurt – where’s the pain come from? Well, for me the pain comes from this bond that craves closeness. And as my sons have grown into men and launched off into lives out on their own, we’re never close enough. My love wants my little boy back, where I can cradle him in my arms, toss him in the air, and delight in his infectious giggle.

Being a parent can be difficult and painful and weird… and absolutely fantastic!

Okay, now what about God… our spiritual Parent? Since we were made in His image, our love is an image of His love – a blurry and weak reflection of God’s true love. Imagine the strength of the bond He feels with us. Imagine the love He feels for His children, and the pain of that love. Imagine the magnitude of His craving for closeness.

How does that make you feel?


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Thinking God into Existence?

I think I had fallen into another trap; a trap baited by my own natural pride.

I’ve been feeling and believing that I need to be thinking of Jesus and consciously aware of His presence in order for Him to influence my actions and the words that come out of my mouth. And to a lesser degree, I’ve been feeling that Jesus’ Spirit is within me only when I’m thinking of Him.

On the surface, this may seem fine and make some sense. But while driving home from work the other day, it hit me – the truth of what I believed punched me in my shoulder, like a tough-loving friend. And I woke up to the truth of what I was doing.

The truth is, Jesus is within me whether I consciously think of Him or not (same goes for you). This is more than a belief or a hope. How could I possibly control the presence of God by my own thought? How could I possibly dictate when God will act or speak through me, just by thinking of Him?

My pride was trying to take control again, thinking It could control God.

But my hearts desire is to absolutely surrender to the Spirit of Jesus within me. And I now realize my pride was getting in the way. And my prideful self is clever, seeking all kinds of ways to gain a sense of control. Yet as Paul said, “The mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6)

Surrender; leaving control of my mind and self to Jesus’ Spirit within me. I choose to give control to Jesus, rather than my prideful self. Oh, my pride will fight back – I don’t think it will ever give up. After all, I’m just a normal human. But I believe Jesus is stronger than my pride. Wow… that’s for sure. And I’m so grateful.


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It’s Dark Down Here

How soon I forget! I guess I need to re-read the book I’ve written – the book I’ve been talking about that I’ll start giving away soon. While on the journey of writing that book, I learned how to escape the stress pit I’d been falling into. And yes, that’s what the book is about – finding freedom from stress, (more about that here, if you like).

But I now believe I’ve fallen back into that dark pit, and I have data to prove it, (being an analytical person, I like data). Well, the nature of the data doesn’t matter. What matters is this near-constant, low level feeling of stress. Not the anxiety-grinding stress. Just enough stress to take the fun out of life. And people who know me know I like making life fun.

Anyway, why am I back in the stress pit? I wonder if it’s habit. The pit is familiar to me; it feels almost normal to be down here. Stupid reason, I know. But I really think that’s what I’m doing.

Okay, so why am I writing about this? Look, as humans I think we sometimes gravitate to the things that are familiar, even the harmful things. You may do this too. If so, don’t chastise yourself for doing something that’s part of your human nature. Rather, make a decision to change, and then act on that decision.

Also, maybe this blog post is a disclaimer in advance. If you decide to accept a free copy of my book  – when I finally finish it that is – there’s a good chance you’ll find freedom from your own stress pit. But I think there’s also a chance you’ll fall back in, like me. (that’s the disclaimer part)

However, I now know how to get back out again – that’s where I’m going now. See ya…


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Not for the Money $$$

dollar

I’ve shaken up my purpose for writing… or one of my purposes anyway. My dream for a long time has been to make enough money with my books to quit my day job and be a fulltime author. Common dream. But I’m giving it away.

While in the midst of my current book project, I discovered a better purpose, a better dream. I no longer want to sell books. Instead, I want to give my books away for free, to as many people as possible. Why? Well, the detailed answer is within the pages of the book I’m about to start giving away. You can check that out if you like when the book is released in a few weeks – more about that on my Home page.

But the effects of this decision are unexpected, and really cool.

Oh, I had studied up on all the popular book marketing techniques intended to maximize sales. Growing my email list; building up my “tribe” of followers; asking followers for help in selecting book titles and cover designs (I like this idea); leveraging all forms of social media to draw people to my website and build my “platform” (I’m tired of that word). Anyway, it all made sense, but it was getting complicated and stressful.

But that stress is now gone – I gave it away. Yet if I really want to give my books away to as many people as possible, the techniques are similar to selling books. But by removing money from my purpose, it’s all a lot more fun.

I’m still asking people to give me their email address, but not so I can send them some funky newsletter and periodic sales pitches to buy a book. I never liked that newsletter idea – I don’t want to contribute to email inbox clutter. But I will send an email when I have a new book ready to give away. And I may send an email when I need help on a book project, like selecting a title or cover design.

Anyway, I’ve discovered that by removing one of the foundational purposes for my writing – selling books – there’s much more room for the real purpose: to help people discover a better experience of life in their growing intimate relationship with the Spirit of Jesus Christ. And, to help people see and accept that the solution to all of life’s problems is found in a personal relationship with the Spirit living within them.

Look, Jesus turned my life around. Without Him, I’d be miserable. Okay, not totally miserable. My wife is very special to me; I love her intensely, and her love gives me purpose. But Jesus’ love gives me a higher purpose, and a fuller life. I want to share that with other people – that’s why I write. NOT for money. This feels great!


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Stress Sucks – But Life Doesn’t Have to be This Way

Does it sometimes feel like stress is dragging you down into a pit of despair? Are you looking for a way to escape the stress pit? So was I. We’re not alone.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can escape the stress that holds you captive. I have a book that might help, and I’d like to give it to you… for free. The book is only a few weeks away from being finished. When it’s ready, I can send you a free pdf copy.

In this book, titled Oh… Jesus!, you can follow me on my journey to escape the stress pit that I fell into almost every day. Follow me, and you may find a way out of your self-dug stress pit. But know this: you can follow me on my journey, but I’m not the one who will pull you out of your stress pit. Only Jesus can do that. Please, give Him a chance.

Why am I giving this book away for free? Well, the complete answer is within the pages of the book. The brief answer is, because I believe it’s the right thing to do. And it feels good to give something away that just might help someone else. So if you’re looking for a way to escape your own stress pit, follow this link and sign up. When the book is done, I’ll send you an email with a link to go download it.

(Sign up here)

 


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The book is ready… finally… almost… and for free

It’s finally almost ready to release… the book I’ve been promising (see Home page). It’s currently with my editor for final edits. And based on the questions she has so far, I’m getting excited about the improvements she’s going to make. By the way, my editor is my niece Johanna, helping me out while in the midst of her own publishing career.

I’m also excited about giving this book away for free to as many people as possible. Seeing that I’ve spent about six dedicated and sometimes difficult months working on this book, you may wonder why I would just give it away. Well, if you read it, you’ll then understand.

And I’m excited about the possibilities within the pages of this book. I hope and feel that it will help other people deal with the stress in their life. You see, this book is a record of my journey to escape stress and find a deep peace that I believed was out there, but I had a hard time seeing it.

Anyway, stay tuned. I hope to have this book available for download within the next two or three weeks. I have a feeling these weeks will be filled with a mixture of anxiety, more excitement, and lots of fun.


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Want Truth?

Are you looking for truth? Does your life feel full of confusion, delusion, and deception? Does truth seem hard to find? You will find truth in a personal relationship with the Holy Spirit… the Spirit of Jesus Christ. As Jesus said, “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another counselor to be with you forever – the Spirit of truth.” (John 14:16-17)

And… “When he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth.” (John 16:13)


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One Way

One way

We all like choices, though too many choices drives me nuts. How can I pick one shampoo from the 100 flavors on the store shelves!? Keep it simple – that’s what I crave these days.

Anyway, this morning while reading in John’s gospel, I came upon a message from Jesus that a lot of people stumble on: “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)

Jesus is the way, the one and only way to heaven. I have friends and family who aren’t able to accept this message. They don’t like the idea of only one way to heaven. Well, keeping it simple – that’s what Jesus is doing for us. Yet why is this so hard for many of us to accept?

Thanks to my ever-present ego, I think I know the answer. Our natural human ego wants choices. With choices, our ego can make the selection and be in control. Having no choice takes all control away from our ego.

Yes, it takes humility to accept the truth of Jesus. Noble humility. It saves us from ourselves, and our pride-filled ego. The way to heaven is through Jesus; the way to Jesus is through humility.


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There is no Death

Death

Another groggy morning. But the coffee’s working… slowly. Bible open, though my eyes keep closing. Come on coffee – work harder.

Anyway, been reading John’s gospel again. I think John’s is my favorite gospel. In chapter 11, John records that Jesus said, “Whoever lives and believes in me will never die.” (John 11:26) Really? As Jesus then said, “Do you believe this?”

You know, when a flower dies, it turns to dust and ceases to exist. By saying that we who believe will never die, Jesus is saying that we will always exist. When our body stops working, though it turns to dust, our person lives on. We just change form. There is no death for those who believe.

What do you think about this?


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Looking for God?

We look in nature, we look in churches, we look in sermons and songs and books. We may think we see God there, but it’s really just a faded image.

As Brother Lawrence once said, “God alone is capable of making Himself known as He really is. God Himself paints Himself in the depths of our souls.” *

Do you want to see God as He really is? Then look inside yourself to His Spirit who lives with your soul. And believe that God will reveal Himself to you.

As Brother Lawrence also said, “Because God’s perfection is infinite, He is consequently indescribable; no words of man are eloquent enough to give a complete description of His grandeur. It is only faith that makes me know Him as He is. By means of it, I learn more about Him in a short time than I would learn in many years in the schools.”

 

* The Practice of the Presence of God, Brother Lawrence.

 


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Just do it

So much violence… so much hatred… too much. Seems like the world is falling apart. Lots of people, like me, are trying to help by recommending we all look to God and Jesus for comfort and answers, and peace. What can I add that hasn’t already been said? Nothing. So with regard to what all compassionate folk are recommending, enough writing. I’m just gonna go do it. “Dear Jesus, I’m hurting and I need your help…”