CJ Penn's Online Writing Hangout

The reason I write: To promote Christian truth and help Jesus get His Christianity back.

Tag Archives: Holy Spirit


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Who’s Sharing Your Bicycle for Two?

bicycle for two

How do I write about something where I can’t find the words to describe it? How do I describe this shared existence, this life with the Holy Spirit of God and Jesus sharing this body with this soul named CJ? And I’m not talking about a typical human shared existence, like I have with my wife. I’m talking about sharing this body with the creator of all that exists, and with the human part of Him who sacrificed His life for me, and you. How do I describe something beyond the range of human words?

The best I can do is compare this shared existence with human things we do understand. How about this: consider your life as a bicycle for two. For much of your life, you sit on this bicycle alone, with the back seat empty. When you invite the Holy Spirit of Jesus into your life, there He is, now sitting on the back seat.

Yet life will still be tough, even with Jesus peddling behind you. You still have to steer your way around the sharp twists and turns of life, and stay in your seat on those rocky roads. But what if you gave the front seat to Jesus? Picture life with Him steering the way, dodging the obstacles of your life. That’s surrender. That’s really living.


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Back to the Pen

writer

The book I’m writing has been incubating for almost 3 months – that’s how long it’s been since I finished revision 10. While praying yesterday, it came to me that the Holy Spirit within me is now ready to start working on rev 11. At least, this is what I believe, and hope. When I think the Spirit of Jesus is speaking to me, sometimes I’m not sure. Sometimes I think these ideas come into my mind just because that’s what I desire.

I have hopes for this book; hopes that over time the truths within the book will touch and heal the hearts of many people. But I also hope that whatever path the book takes is the path defined by Jesus. His will be done, not mine.

No matter where it goes from here, today I start working on rev 11, because I believe this is what God wants me to do. How will I know if I’m following God’s will and not just my own? I think the outcome will be my answer. Wherever this book ends up will tell me which path I followed.


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Put Down the Book

books

Ever hungry for more knowledge of the truth and nature of my relationship with God, I read books. Brother Lawrence, Andrew Murray, A.W. Tozer, C.S. Lewis, and William Law – these are the guides I’ve been following. And great guides they have been, bringing me a long way over rocky ground, guided themselves by their own relationship with God.

But a shattering truth blinded my mind this morning. As I again opened yet another book, looking forward to finding words that would help strengthen my relationship with the Holy Spirit within me, He burned these words into my mind: it’s not the words of man that will open my mind and heart to His love and nearness, but only Him.

If I really desire an ever-growing relationship with God, instead of engaging my mind in the words of man, I will silence and open my mind to His Spirit within.

I closed the book, closed my eyes, and opened my heart and mind to the Holy Spirit. I encourage you to do the same.


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Spiritual Attention Deficit Disorder

Runny nose

I want to post something today, but my mind is foggy with this cold and runny nose, and I can’t think of anything to say. Well, maybe if my mind isn’t able to come up with anything meaningful or helpful, I’ll offer this time solely to the Holy Spirit within me. What does He want to say to you, through me?

…

I give up. In addition to fogginess, I think I’m currently suffering from Spiritual Attention Deficit Disorder (SADD). I can’t focus. Do you ever suffer from SADD? Wow, I am slow this morning; I just saw how “sad” that condition is.

Well, I don’t think suffering from SADD is anything to be ashamed of. Jesus knows how hard it is to be human in this world full of distractions. All He desires is for us to turn back to Him when our mind is finished wandering the worldly wilderness. And like the father in the story of the prodigal son, Jesus is always there, waiting for our attention to return to Him. And I’m so grateful.


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Truly Tasting

wine tasting

My wife and I enjoy going wine tasting. The person pouring the wine usually gives a detailed report of the aroma and flavor. You may hear such descriptions as… The nose is jammy, concentrated and sweet, with ripe berry and Graham cracker aromas. A bold, saturated palate houses flavors of blackberry, molasses and fudge, while the ripe, smooth finish tastes of brown sugar and chocolate.

It all seems silly to me. My taste buds aren’t discerning enough to identify all that stuff. Either I like the wine, or I don’t. Yet what if, while wine tasting, I stopped at the description, never raising the glass to my lips? I could walk away saying, “That sounded like a very nice wine,” and never truly know the wine.

What if all you know about God is His description you hear in sermons and read in the bible? To truly know and experience God is to let His Spirit into your life, to drink Him in and taste His presence. Open up your self and let the Holy Spirit share the personal place with your soul. Words are not enough.

“Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, ‘Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink.’” (John 7:37)


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Call me an Extremist

Is it extremism to seek a life dominated by the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ? If yes, then call me an extremist.

I’ve been reading the book, “The Power of the Spirit,” by William Law. He laments about the lack of desire for the Holy Spirit, and refers to those who seek the Spirit as extremists. Jesus offers all of us the gift of His Spirit, to live within us and help us through this trouble-filled life. Yet so few seem to accept Jesus’ gift.


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He Must Become Greater – a Resolution

happy new year

Being New Years Eve morning, I found myself thinking about resolutions for 2015. I’ve been big on creating long lists of resolutions in the past. This year, just one item is on my list…

As John the Baptist said, “He must become greater, I must become less.” (John 3:30)

My resolution, my hope and trust for 2015 is that the Holy Spirit of Jesus will become greater within me, and my “self” will become less. As Jesus continues to fill me with His Spirit, my selfish and self-centered self will become less of who CJ Penn is. And I’m so grateful.

I wish you all a great New Year, and hope that you too will find yourself filled with the Holy Spirit of our savior, Jesus.


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Christmas didn’t feel special, but that was okay

I love all the gifts, the receiving, and the giving. I love the time with family, even though it’s often too brief. I love all the food and the drinks. But ever since I became Christian, I looked for something more in my Christmas. I looked for some special sense of Jesus’ presence. Sometimes I would find it during Christmas Eve service at church. Sometimes I would find the sense of closeness in the middle of a conversation, or a quiet time late at night. Sometimes I wouldn’t find it, but I always looked for that feeling of something different.

This year, I didn’t find a new or different sense of Jesus’ presence in my life. But that’s because I feel His presence all the time. Oh yes, I’m often not thinking about Jesus’ Spirit within me. But the sense of His close presence is just a thought away, and He’s always there, waiting for me to turn to Him. I turned to Him a lot this Christmas, and it felt the same as every other day. But that’s okay.

It’s a cliché, but for me, maybe every day is like Christmas day. And I’m so grateful.


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Christmas Day – Happy Birthday

happy birthday

Christmas day – I believe there’s more to celebrate than the 2000-plus year anniversary of Jesus’ birth. For Jesus is born again, every time someone opens their heart with faith, and lets the Holy Spirit of Jesus in their life. If you look to God and ask Him to live with you, within your body and with your soul, Jesus is re-born as human, as you.

And when you open the door of your heart to let the Spirit of Jesus into your life, you are re-born as a new person. No longer just you, but you and Jesus, in one.

Christmas day – there’s a lot to celebrate. Happy Birthday all.


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The Wall Comes Crashing Down

wall

I put up barriers. Stress, anxiety, fretting about tomorrow, fretting about days after tomorrow, fretting about my fretting. These are my barriers, self-made walls of worry and self-centered distraction, rising up between me and the Holy Spirit within. Yet my barriers do more that separate me from God; they also barricade me from people I love. All my relationships suffer from my barriers.

I got up early this morning (early for a Sunday anyway). It was still dark outside. I went to bed early last night, after falling asleep in front of the TV… around 8 o’clock. No longer the Saturday night partier I once was.

All quiet in the pre-dawn house, with hot coffee warming my hands – I sat on my napping-couch, closed my eyes, and poured out my frets to God, within me. I felt the wall, tall and seemingly strong. Yet not strong enough.

With every thought that touched upon the Holy Spirit within, another block fell from the wall. And soon it was gone. The Holy Spirit and I are now fully face-to-face, within this soul of mine.

I’ll build the wall again. Happens every day. And I’m so grateful that God is always happy to help me tear it down.


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Grateful for the Flaws

flawed

By reading my complaints about my flawed humanity in many of my blog posts, you might think I’m a miserable person. Well, I’m not.

It seems that most of the time, my life is dominated by my relationship with God, Jesus, and their Spirit who shares my life with me. By the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life, I have found true meaning, peace, excitement, and love. Life has never been better.

Yet I’m grateful for the flaws of my human nature: my pride and selfishness, my anxiety and worry, my anger, my natural temptations. For whenever my flaws capture my present, they remind me of how much I need God. Yes, my flaws may make me miserable while in the midst of them. But God has taught me to use my flaws, to steer my mind back to Him. And I’m grateful.


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Lifting me out of this pit

Out-of-the-Slimy-Pit

This writing gig gets me all confused and stressed out. To self-publish my book, or chase after a traditional publisher? To try to lure an agent, or not? Should I even bother trying to publish? How to attract followers to this blog? How to increase page hits? Should I even bother trying to attract followers, or instead focus on a simpler motive for writing blog posts?

Today is a typical morning for me; my mind is a jumble of random thoughts and questions, all in search of a purpose and direction. And in the middle of this mess is my selfish beast, wanting it all MY way.

Some mornings I get bogged down in the muck of my own self-centeredness. But today I was lifted out of this muddy pit and set down on the higher ground of solid humility. Of course, the Holy Spirit within me did the lifting.

Now, the stress and confusion are gone. My only desire is to be hands and feet for God.

Dear Lord, dear Spirit who shares this body of mine, I am yours. These hands are yours, resting on this keyboard. This mind is yours. My heart and soul are yours. Why? Because of love. I love you so much dear Spirit of Jesus. You’ve given me life. You’ve given me purpose. You’ve given me love beyond understanding. Please help me to not waste your gift of love. You came for me… I’m here for you.

Amen


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My Prison of Pride

prisoner of fallacy

Pride is my self-imposed prison. Pride ties me up with strict rules and expectations. Pride wraps me in a straightjacket of stress when things don’t go MY way. Pride pushes my heart, soul, and mind to me, rather than God.

Pride is misery.

Yet Jesus has set me free from my prison. He has opened the door and shown me the path to humility… and love… and others… and our Father. There are still traces of pride clinging to me, but it’s not the prison it once was.

And the Holy Spirit within holds onto me, stopping me from returning to my familiar prison cell. And I’m so grateful.


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Better than Books

books

Recently, several people have asked me for recommendations of good books that may help strengthen their relationship with Jesus. Here are some of my favorite books, which have really helped me:

“The Practice of the Presence of God,” by Brother Lawrence

“Humility,” by Andrew Murray

“Absolute Surrender,” by Andrew Murray

(almost anything by Andrew Murray)

“The Knowledge of the Holy,” by AW Tozer

But what’s helped me more than reading is devoting as much time as I can to praying. While praying, I try to visualize the Holy Spirit within me. It’s taken me a long time to truly believe in the presence of the Spirit of God within me. But now I believe, and that’s more powerful than any book I’ve read. For with the Spirit, I FEEL God’s love, which is far more powerful than just knowing about God’s love.


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Healing my Wounds

wounded heart

This morning while praying, it became clear and obvious to me that I too am a wounded Christian. Why else would I sometimes be angry at certain churches and their behavior? My anger has it roots somewhere, and it must be in past wounds.

This morning I was wondering how the Holy Spirit within me feels about all this. Also, how can I let go of my anger?

I suspect God may also get angry at certain church behavior. But God’s anger does not affect His love. Like any good parent, no matter how bad the behavior, God still loves His children. That sense of God’s love for churches that cause me anger actually helps me begin to let go of the anger and take hold of the love. With the Spirit of God within me, He can love through me. I now know that I can feel sincere love for those who had hurt and angered me. For me, it may just take a little more time, to let go of my anger, and take hold of God’s love.

Are you a wounded Christian, carrying scars inflicted by churches or other Christians? Please consider joining the Facebook Group, For Wounded Christians – A Place for Healing, where you can share your feelings, your stories, your healing.

May God bless us all with His overflowing love, which washes away all bad feelings.


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Studying my way to God?

books

I have read the bible many times, especially the New Testament. I’ve read great books by Andrew Murray, William Law, and A.W. Tozer. I’ve read sermons and devotionals by Charles Spurgeon. And then there’s “The Practice of the Presence of God,” by Brother Lawrence – my most well-worn non-bible book. All of my studying has helped me develop a close relationship with God, or so it appears.

Is diligent study really the secret to an intimate relationship with God and Jesus? I don’t think so, because based on what Jesus said and how He lived, it doesn’t make sense.

What came into my mind as I puzzled over this was what Paul frequently mentioned about faith, hope, and love. As he said, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13)

A relationship with God obviously starts with faith. But it’s love that makes that relationship grow. Though study may help, in my case anyway, without love the study is meaningless.

Reading about food will not ease your hunger. Are you hungry for closeness with God? Then love Him. Let His Spirit into your life. Taste His presence in your soul. And you will be filled, to overflowing.


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To be a Child

child in lap

“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.” (Romans 8:14)

There are days, most days,

when I just want to curl up in my Father’s lap,

hiding my face from this chaotic world,

safe behind the hugs of His loving arms.

Peace, quiet, soft love.

He’s waiting for me today,

waiting for me to come to Him in my prayers

and climb up into His lap.

Always waiting, arms outstretched to lift me to Him.

Lord, here I am.

So nice to be home again.

 

I hope you have a great day, in the arms of your Father.


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Twice Saved

Holy Spirit

By His death on the cross, Jesus saved me from the penalties of my sinful life. By His Spirit living within me, Jesus daily saves me from myself.

The Holy Spirit living within you… it’s not just words in the bible. It’s not just Christian doctrine. It’s truth and it’s life. There is no truth more powerful than that of sharing your mortal life with the immortal Spirit of Jesus Christ, within you.

He’s knocking on the door of your heart. Open up and let Him in. Look inside yourself… He’s there. Feel His love, inside you. The Holy Spirit loves you, from the inside, out. Let His love loose, spilling over your walls and splashing onto nearby souls hungry for love.


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Where There are no Denominations

Holy Spirit inside

In Jesus’ church, there are no denominations. Jesus’ church is simpler than the complex collection of differing manmade Christian organizations. Jesus’ church is the family of Spirit-filled believers.

“Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.” (Ephesians 2:19-22)


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The Spirit Gives Life

holy spiirt espresso

I sometimes feel lifeless… no energy, worn out from the chaos of this world, just wanting to hide under the covers. I get tired of life. At times like these, I often pick up my bible, along with a cup of strong coffee, and go in search of inspiration, and energy. But I don’t completely find what I’m looking for in the coffee-stained pages of my bible (I sometimes spill).

As Paul said, “He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” (2 Corinthians 3:6)

What’s important is NOT bible literacy, but a relationship with the Holy Spirit. It’s in that relationship where I find the inspiration I’m looking for.

For me, the bible is critically important because it led me to the truth of the Holy Spirit. But that’s where the bible stops. From there, the Holy Spirit has taken over and has breathed new energy into my life, new purpose into my life. And I’m so grateful.