CJ Penn's Online Writing Hangout

The reason I write: To promote Christian truth and help Jesus get His Christianity back.


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Healing my Wounds

wounded heart

This morning while praying, it became clear and obvious to me that I too am a wounded Christian. Why else would I sometimes be angry at certain churches and their behavior? My anger has it roots somewhere, and it must be in past wounds.

This morning I was wondering how the Holy Spirit within me feels about all this. Also, how can I let go of my anger?

I suspect God may also get angry at certain church behavior. But God’s anger does not affect His love. Like any good parent, no matter how bad the behavior, God still loves His children. That sense of God’s love for churches that cause me anger actually helps me begin to let go of the anger and take hold of the love. With the Spirit of God within me, He can love through me. I now know that I can feel sincere love for those who had hurt and angered me. For me, it may just take a little more time, to let go of my anger, and take hold of God’s love.

Are you a wounded Christian, carrying scars inflicted by churches or other Christians? Please consider joining the Facebook Group, For Wounded Christians – A Place for Healing, where you can share your feelings, your stories, your healing.

May God bless us all with His overflowing love, which washes away all bad feelings.


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Studying my way to God?

books

I have read the bible many times, especially the New Testament. I’ve read great books by Andrew Murray, William Law, and A.W. Tozer. I’ve read sermons and devotionals by Charles Spurgeon. And then there’s “The Practice of the Presence of God,” by Brother Lawrence – my most well-worn non-bible book. All of my studying has helped me develop a close relationship with God, or so it appears.

Is diligent study really the secret to an intimate relationship with God and Jesus? I don’t think so, because based on what Jesus said and how He lived, it doesn’t make sense.

What came into my mind as I puzzled over this was what Paul frequently mentioned about faith, hope, and love. As he said, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13)

A relationship with God obviously starts with faith. But it’s love that makes that relationship grow. Though study may help, in my case anyway, without love the study is meaningless.

Reading about food will not ease your hunger. Are you hungry for closeness with God? Then love Him. Let His Spirit into your life. Taste His presence in your soul. And you will be filled, to overflowing.


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To be a Child

child in lap

“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.” (Romans 8:14)

There are days, most days,

when I just want to curl up in my Father’s lap,

hiding my face from this chaotic world,

safe behind the hugs of His loving arms.

Peace, quiet, soft love.

He’s waiting for me today,

waiting for me to come to Him in my prayers

and climb up into His lap.

Always waiting, arms outstretched to lift me to Him.

Lord, here I am.

So nice to be home again.

 

I hope you have a great day, in the arms of your Father.


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Twice Saved

Holy Spirit

By His death on the cross, Jesus saved me from the penalties of my sinful life. By His Spirit living within me, Jesus daily saves me from myself.

The Holy Spirit living within you… it’s not just words in the bible. It’s not just Christian doctrine. It’s truth and it’s life. There is no truth more powerful than that of sharing your mortal life with the immortal Spirit of Jesus Christ, within you.

He’s knocking on the door of your heart. Open up and let Him in. Look inside yourself… He’s there. Feel His love, inside you. The Holy Spirit loves you, from the inside, out. Let His love loose, spilling over your walls and splashing onto nearby souls hungry for love.


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Love Evangelizes

Love power

We were having a brief blog-chat about evangelism. My fellow Christian blogger was afraid that her efforts to introduce her friends to truthful information about Jesus would come across as preachy, and be a turn-off. I’ve experienced similar fears. Instead of pulling people toward Jesus, a preachy approach will often push them away.

Yet God doesn’t want us to be preachy to others. Jesus tells us that people should know we are His disciples by our love for each other, not by our preaching. As He said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)

Long ago, when I told my sister about my realization that I had finally become Christian, she said, “You’re not one of those Jesus freaks, are you?” Well, I didn’t answer her, but inside I answered myself with, YES!

Yet, I think it has surprised my sister that after all these years, I’ve never preached to her. But what I have done is love her more. And it has been in my ever-growing relationship with God where I have learned to truly love.

Where preachiness pushes, love pulls. Love evangelizes far better than preachiness.


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What I’m Thankful for

relationships

I’ve noticed while reading my Jesus Calling devotional lately, that over the past few days the topic has been thankfulness. No coincidence by Sarah Young, with the US Thanksgiving holiday during the end of November. So this morning, while chatting/praying with Jesus, I said thanks for the many things I’m grateful for.

My wife, my sons, my daughter in law, my youngest son’s terrific girlfriend of many years (someday they’ll get married), my sisters and brothers, nieces and nephews, mom and stepfather, all my family, and all my friends. I’m so grateful for all these relationships.

As I gave Jesus thanks for each of these people in my life, I was almost ashamed that the last relationship to come to mind is my relationship with Him. Without Jesus in my life, all my other relationships would be flawed and frail.

Jesus adds sugar to my relationships. He gives me energy, compassion, and sincere love for the people in my life. It just occurred to me… if you have relationships that are suffering; maybe first nurture your relationship with Jesus. He will then help you heal and strengthen your other relationships.

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving, no matter where on this earthly home you live.


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For Wounded Christians – a Place for Healing

Wound Group cover photo

In the years I’ve spent on this blog site, surfing other peoples blog sites, and in my life outside the cyber-world, I’ve met many wounded Christians. The wounds come from churches. The wounds may come from other Christians. Or the wounds may come from inside themselves, from false ideas they believe to be true. There is no blame or guilt in all this – it’s just a result of people being normal, broken, sinful & prideful human beings.

I recently stepped out of my boat and ventured into Facebook land. It’s an interesting place. I discovered Facebook groups. I have since been inspired to start a group for wounded Christians. I just hope the inspiration came from God and not me.

This group is for sharing personal stories of suffering and confusion. Sharing stories may help others; by showing them they are not alone. Most importantly, this group is for sharing stories of healing. And this group is about sharing the truth of Jesus Christ. For it is His truth that will answer questions. It is His truth that will heal wounds. It is His truth that will set you free from pain, suffering, confusion, guilt, and many other manmade maladies.

A friend of mine described this Facebook group as “A wonderful group for those of you who love God but have been wounded by His people.”

The name of the group is “For Wounded Christians – a Place for Healing.”


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The Spirit Gives Life

holy spiirt espresso

I sometimes feel lifeless… no energy, worn out from the chaos of this world, just wanting to hide under the covers. I get tired of life. At times like these, I often pick up my bible, along with a cup of strong coffee, and go in search of inspiration, and energy. But I don’t completely find what I’m looking for in the coffee-stained pages of my bible (I sometimes spill).

As Paul said, “He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” (2 Corinthians 3:6)

What’s important is NOT bible literacy, but a relationship with the Holy Spirit. It’s in that relationship where I find the inspiration I’m looking for.

For me, the bible is critically important because it led me to the truth of the Holy Spirit. But that’s where the bible stops. From there, the Holy Spirit has taken over and has breathed new energy into my life, new purpose into my life. And I’m so grateful.


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“Hey, I’m Right Here”

Spirit with you

As my sister gets in her car for the commute home from work, she calls my mom and has their daily chat while my sister drives – my mom in her nice comfy living room, and my sister in her tiny car on the highway parking lot. More than once, the doorbell will ring while in the middle of their chat. My mom will answer it to find my sister right there on their front porch. She wasn’t so far away after all.

I used to pray while picturing God in heaven, with Jesus standing next to Him. I now wonder if during those chats, the Spirit of God and Jesus was knocking on my door, saying, “Hey, I’m right here!” I may picture God far away, when He’s actually on my front porch. Or more truthfully, He’s within me, knocking on my inner door. I just need to quiet my mind enough to hear Him.


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The Power of the Spirit

Holy Spirit

Where the words within the bible speak to your mind, the Holy Spirit within you speaks to your heart and soul. Where the words in the bible will point you to God, and help you know about God and Jesus, the Holy Spirit within you will help you know God and Jesus. The words have no power, only direction. The power to make the words real in your life comes from the Holy Spirit, within you.

I’m re-reading a book by William Law, “The Power of the Spirit.” Law is reminding me that true Christianity is not about memorizing bible verses or following religious practices and tradition. True Christianity is all about an intimate relationship with the Spirit of Jesus, within you.

Please, look beyond the words, to the Holy Spirit within you.


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Power of Love

power of love

 

True Story…

The doctors had tried to re-start her heart for almost half an hour. They gave up, declared her dead, removed the crash cart from her hospital room, and left her husband to have some final moments with the withered body of his wife. But he wasn’t alone – hospital rules required a nurse remain present.

She stood quietly at the door, watching him as he held his wife’s cooling hand. He didn’t say a word, audibly anyway. He just sat there, looking into his wife’s dead face. I wonder what he was thinking in those moments. Was he angry with the God of his Christian wife, the God he didn’t quite believe in? Or was it love that filled his thoughts; the love that strengthened both of them through the many years together, yet was now drained from her cancer-filled body?

The nurse had others things she should be doing right now, but for some reason she felt like this was the place she needed to be most. The husband sometimes let out a sigh, or sniffed back some tears – but no other sounds were heard. Twenty minutes had passed since the team of doctors gave up and left the room.

Then it happened. The dead wife opened her eyes, looked into her husband’s face, and said, “I love you.” The nurse had a moment of dumb shock. When she gained a bit of control, she headed for the emergency call button.

“No, she’s gone,” the husband said. The nurse checked, and indeed… no pulse.

Such is the power of love. The love of the wife, and the love of God. For God granted the wife one final wish, to go back to her husband and tell him she loves him, one more time. And then she was gone.

And the husband began thinking in new ways about God and Jesus.

(I stress again, this is a true story.)


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A new You

butterfly

I recently wrote a post where I used the movie “Young Frankenstein” to illustrate how Jesus exchanged His goodness for our sinfulness when He died on the cross (see it here). Jesus did more than exchange goodness for sinfulness on the cross. He transferred His Spirit into us.

Throughout the gospels, Jesus promises us the presence of the Holy Spirit within our lives. By His death, He made this promise real. And He made us new. When we open the door of our heart and let the Spirit in, we are changed… a new creation. As Paul said, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, that person is a new creation: the old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17) Paul was talking about the Holy Spirit, within you.

 

And as today is Veterans Day, I would like to send out my sincere thanks to all of the very giving people who have devoted part of their lives to serving in the military, and providing protection for our country. I am so grateful.


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Today is still yesterday

Just a silly thought for some Friday fun…

My friend Josh just came up to me and said he didn’t get any sleep last night, again. He has a brand new baby daughter – now you see why he got no sleep. He then said, “So today is still yesterday.” I found that tickling and I wanted to share it. And Josh said I could. I hope you have a fun Friday, and weekend. CJ


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Love is God

Where love there is God

My adopted brother turned his back on my parents, ran away from home, and spent most of his life in prison. Yet even with all their pain and suffering, my parents never stopped loving their lost son. But their love for my half-bother is only a faded image of Gods love for His children.

To know true love is to know the nature of God. The primary trait of Gods character is love, for as John said, “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” (1 John 4:16).

Love is so much a part of God and God so loves, that He and love are the same. Love is not a description of God – God is a description of love.

Applying God to Paul’s picture of love in chapter 13 of his first letter to the Corinthians, we have a vivid portrait of the true character of God…

“God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. God is not rude, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, He keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. God never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, paraphrase)

Where there is love, there is God.


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Loving Enemies – There’s Power There

love enemies

I discovered something this morning. Many years ago, when I started reading the bible, I was first perplexed with Jesus’ call to love our enemies. I didn’t like the idea. I think over the years my heart has softened a bit, and I do find it easier to feel compassion for my enemies (I like to see that as a form of love). Yet I still struggle.

Anyway, what first perplexed me, later amazed me when I realized that Jesus isn’t asking us to do anything He and God are not willing to do. God loves His enemies.

Then this morning it hit me – I was once God’s enemy. Somewhere around the time when I waffled between atheist and agnostic, without getting into details of what I remember about my life at that time, I’m certain I was an enemy of God. Yet He loved me, even then.

I now believe that the power of God’s love of me slowly melted my hard heart, to where I now love Him. God’s love melts down barriers. WOW! I love it when He amazes me. God is so much fun.

I hope you all have a great day. And remember, God loves you, no matter how you feel about Him.


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A Hug for Halloween

hugs

I came across a blog post that asks; if my blog site could hand out treats, what would it be? I’d like to hand out hugs; nice, warm, sincere, compassionate, and gentle hugs. There is power in a gentle touch.

In the gospel of Luke, there is a story about a man suffering from leprosy. “While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, ‘Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.’” (Luke 5:12)

Who knows how long he had the disease, but we know those stricken with leprosy were outcasts. Everyone avoided them. So this man, covered with the soars of the nerve-killing illness, had not touched or been touched by another human being for possibly many years. No one had hugged him, no hand had touched his, and no arm had gone around his shoulders in a moment of comfort – until Jesus came along.

“Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean,” he said to Jesus. The man had the faith, yet his sense of kindness in others had been lost in the years of isolation. He doubted not Jesus’ ability, only His willingness to be kind. It had been that long since this man had felt compassion from another. What did Jesus do next? We know from other stories that He could have healed him right off. Yet Jesus did something better. He first gave the man what he needed most. Out of love and compassion, “Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.” (verse 13) For the first time in perhaps years, another person reached out and touched this lonely, leprous human being.

In the midst of the emotion that may have begun to swell within the man, Jesus then said, “I am willing. Be clean.” And the leprosy left him.

 

So now I’d like to give you a virtual hug … nope, just doesn’t cute it. Oh well. I hope you have a great Halloween Friday.


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Empty and Ready for More

Yesterday I finished rev 10 of the book I’m writing. And like most times when I finish a revision, I feel weird. This morning I feel this question pestering my mind: “Okay, what do I do now?”

But I also felt like I’m at a place of emptiness with God. I don’t mean negative emptiness. I mean good emptiness, like an empty jar ready to have something new poured into me. I like this feeling, just sitting here, opening my heart to God, waiting for Him to fill me with the next thing He wants me to do. It’s actually a little scary, but, “Dear Lord, bring it on.”


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I Forgot to Trust

Forgot to trust

 

I’ve been feeling really funky the past few days. Our recent long weekend away gave me a break from writing. But it also felt like I had taken a break from God. Not a total break, but with all the activity going on during our brief trip, it was hard for me to focus on God. It felt like the distance between us grew.

So after getting back home, back to work, and back to my writing, I set my sights on God… the Holy Spirit within me. Yet, though I got my focus back on God, I still felt funky. Work was stressful. The writing was hard. My best writing comes when I relax and let the Holy Spirit take my hands and write through me. Though I felt His presence, I didn’t feel His hands on mine. I didn’t feel Him directing my words and actions. It sucked.

Then last night it hit me. I had forgotten to truly trust God. It only took the few days of our long weekend trip for me to forget what it feels like to really trust God, to trust Him with not only my writing, but with my entire day.

Trusting God is so peaceful. I don’t have to worry about what I’m going to say or do. God will take care of that. I just sit back and let Him direct my life, and my hands as I type.

Dear Lord, thank you for reminding me to trust you. And thank you for being here within me, having the patience to wait for me to come around to you. I learn so slowly, and I seem to need the same lessons repeated – thanks for not giving up on me, always waiting for me to turn back to you.


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Hide ‘n Seek

hide n seek

One of our favorite places to play hide and seek was the old cemetery up on the hill, amid the forest of eucalyptus trees. The best days were when the fog came rolling densely over the coastal hills and spilled amongst the trees. The fright-level was fantastic, especially as evening approached and it started to get dark.

We always used the same statue as our base. I would hide behind a tree or gravestone, far from the statue but still within sight. When the kid who was “it” went searching in the other direction, I would scamper from one gravestone to the next, working my way toward the statue. Maybe I looked like John Belushi in “Animal House,” sneaking up to the girls’ dorm in the middle of the night. Anyway, if I got to the statue before “it” spotted me, I was safe.

I didn’t see the symbolism in what we were doing until a few decades later, when I remembered that our base was a statue of Jesus. When we make it to Jesus, we are safe.

jesus statue