It’s taken me a long time to understand the nature of my relationship with God. Yet when the truth of it finally opened my eyes, it overwhelmed me. God wants to be a Father to me! The parent-child relationship is so nurturing and intimate, and that’s what the creator of all that exists wants for me. And you. Wow!
As Paul stated, “But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba, Father.’ So you are no longer slaves, but God’s children; and since you are his children, he has made you also heirs.” (Galatians 4:4-7)
“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” (2 Corinthians 6:18)
“Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God – children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” (John 1:12-13)
There have been times in my past, where God seemed to go quiet, where I had no sense of His presence in my life. Those are the worst of times.
I now realize that when God went quiet, that was when I sought Him more earnestly. Maybe God goes quiet in my life on purpose. Because every time that happens, and every time I seek Him more earnestly, He seems to come back into my life more fully, and He always feels closer than before. The quiet times are always followed by stronger times, where our relationship feels more solid and certain.
My sense is that God is coaching me along in our relationship, in a personalized way that He knows will work with me. He may interact differently with you.
It seems like it’s been a long time since God felt quiet in my life. I’m now at a point where I cannot imagine living without a sense of His presence. I’ve come to rely on God so much that I can’t handle living without Him. I now feel like He will never go quiet again. And I’m so grateful. Thank you Lord.
I live too much in the future. My mind spends too much time imagining where I would like to be someday and what I would like to be doing. Or, I rehearse a confrontation with someone at work, a confrontation that will likely never happen. I’ve noticed I spend a lot of time rehearsing future interactions with people. And almost all of those never take place.
Yesterday my mind left work, which has been miserable lately, and went on one of its trips to fantasyland, to my dream job somewhere in the future. Maybe my mind was trying to escape the junk that was going on at work. But I didn’t escape the stress. I brought the stress right along with me. And I noticed that thinking about what I don’t have – my dream job – added to my sense of stress.
Then this thought hit me (which I certainly believe came from God)… instead of thinking about what I don’t have, think about what I DO have. What do I have? I have the constant presence of the Holy Spirit of God and Jesus within me. And I had a great day yesterday, frequently turning my mind toward what I do have.
So I’m trying to start this morning by keeping my mind in the present, on what I do have – my constant companion. And no matter where my mind might wander during the day, I know He will be waiting for me to come back to Him. And I’m so grateful. Thank you Lord.
I’ve been working a lot lately on trusting God, with my writing (book and blog), with work, with all my relationships. And I’ve seen that like everything in our lives, with practice, trusting God becomes easier.
It’s becoming easier for me to just relax and let Him guide my steps, guide my hand as I write, guide my words as I speak. And it’s a blast! This sense of real, sincere trust and what I see as He guides me – it’s really fun. This is joy, the joy of trust.
Oh, dear Jesus, thank you so much. As your peace and joy is beyond understanding, so is my gratitude beyond my ability to express. I am yours. Now let’s go have some fun and work on the book.
Watch a group of young children at play sometime. Made-up games, with few rules. One game may morph into another game. Full of fun and giggles. Spontaneous, out of control and unpredictable.
I just started reading the book, “The Good and Beautiful Life,” by James Bryan Smith. Just a little ways into it, he introduced the idea of play and how it relates to our life with God.
I think I’ve had times of playing with God, without realizing it. Spontaneous, out of control and unpredictable. Like the mornings where He and I get together in thought, and I just relax my mind and ask Him what He wants to do. In a way, maybe I’m letting God choose the game. And it’s in these moments of giving control to God where some of my best writing has sprouted. It’s a blast!
Playing with God: what does this mean to me? Just relax, trust Him as a child would trust, and have fun. Humbly let go of the desire to control and happily follow the Leader, wherever He may lead. And I believe that when you’ve found the fun, the joy, of playing with God – then you have found the true presence of God within you.
All I need do is show up – He’ll take it from there. I’m working on revision 10 of a book I’m writing, with help from my ghost writer, the Holy Spirit of God. I’ve written about my ghost writer before (here).
This past weekend, as I found a moment in-between to-do list chores, I sat at the dining room table and began to try to clear my mind of the distractions around me. This can be the hardest part of my writing – getting focused. It can be painful for me to concentrate on my editing, and find and fix the troubled spots in the latest draft. I feel the pressure of not wanting to miss anything.
The answer then became suddenly clear. All I need do is open the binder holding revision 10, grab a pencil, and read. The Spirit of Jesus within me will show me what needs changing. I can just relax and trust Him.
At that moment, I truly felt the trust – not just a promise of trust, but a true and tangible reality of trust. It felt great to relax, read, and wait on Jesus to point out the weak spots in my writing. I so love writing this way, with absolute trust in the Holy Spirit. Thank you dear Jesus.
“I’m sorry.” It’s maybe not too difficult to say, but often very hard to sincerely mean. There have been times when I’ve been able to force it out of my mouth, but something leaves a bitter feeling in my heart. I believe that’s the insincerity of my apology, irritating me like an itchy scab.
I came across a good blog post this morning about the difficulties some of us have with sincerely apologizing to God for our sins… repentance. (see it here). Why is it hard for Christians to sincerely repent?
For me, it takes true humility to admit our mistakes and repent, or tell a friend we are sorry. That’s why repentance is so difficult, because humility is not part of our prideful human nature. I believe the remedy for our lack of repentance is to focus our attention on the Holy Spirit, rather than on “self.” And if we can muster enough humility to let the Spirit into our lives, He will show us the path to true humility… and true repentance.
Yet, we shouldn’t stress about our lack of repentance. We should instead focus on our relationship with the Holy Spirit. He will then lead us to repentance.
As the coffee finally began to take effect this morning, I more easily focused my mind in prayer. I tried to empty my thoughts and open myself up to God, asking Him to fill me with His wishes. Does He want me to write a blog post this morning, work on the book, go in search of other blog posts that have a message He wants me to see, or something else?
In my minds eye, I pictured all-mighty God, the creator of all that exists. And I believe what I felt was fear, fear of the Lord. Not a fear of harm. But getting so close to such immense power – there’s something a bit frightening about that. In a way, it’s like when my son gave us a tour of the nuclear power plant he works at – so much power it’s almost scary.
Anyway, in the midst of my sense of fear, my mind turned to Jesus. I can picture Jesus, with our shared humanity. And I found myself overwhelmed with gratitude. God so loves us that He sent His Son to be one of us. Where God feels too immense for me to feel close to, I can feel close to Jesus, my fellow human.
Maybe this is another reason God sent Jesus to share our humanity – so there would be a piece of Him that His human children can more easily snuggle up to in prayer. Jesus knows what I’m going through. He’s lived through many of the same temptations. He knows what it’s like to be human. And I’m so grateful. Thank you Lord.
He did it again… my ghost writer. I’m working on revision 9 of a book I’m collaborating on with my ghost writer friend. Yesterday I finished marking up chapter 20 with more fine-tuning changes (part of what sometimes feels like my never-ending editing process). This morning I got up at 4:00am, as usual, to get in some writing before heading to work. I had intended to start editing chapter 21. But as I got out of bed, the thought became clear that I needed to go back and take another look at chapter 20. My ghost writer was talking to me again.
Got my coffee and settled myself in my makeshift “office” (a walled-off corner in the garage), and while letting the coffee cup warm my hands, I prayed, as usual. This thought came clearly into my mind: there was a glaring problem buried within chapter 20 that I needed to uncover and fix. My ghost writer, the Holy Spirit of God within me, was making my task for this morning clear.
And sure enough, as I read my way through chapter 20, I turned a page and there was the problem – a couple of unclear and awkward paragraphs. And the whole section looked a lot better with those paragraphs crossed out.
This is the way it goes, writing with the Holy Ghost. Is God really speaking to me, giving me direction on how to write this book? Well, the answer depends on what you believe. For me, I certainly believe so. And I’m so grateful. Thank you God.
It’s a worn out phrase, “faith journey,” but it’s accurate. It’s been a long, hard struggle for me, at times. Often I’m trudging along, with my eyes focused on the path ahead, ever vigilant for obstacles. There can be big boulders, some so large I have to climb over them. Like my prideful selfishness. It just keeps getting in my way.
Sometimes I get tired of this journey, ever looking out for and dodging potholes and roadblocks. Sometimes I just want to step off the path, set up camp, and crash for a while. But then I look up, and there ahead is my goal, always bright and visible. Jesus is right there, forever in front of me, encouraging me onward. His love is so powerful. It gets me back on my feet and moving again. Almost like a magnetic force, pulling me onward. When my feet get tired, Jesus’ love lights the fire in my soul, and gives me all the energy I need.
“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.” (Hebrews 12:2)
My last trial found me very afraid, at first. The threat of prostrate cancer hit me in the face. Yet very quickly I found myself leaving the fear, and embracing excitement. For I knew I wasn’t alone. The Holy Spirit of God is within me, and He was sharing the experience with me. And the prospect of cancer began to look like an adventure. I found myself giggling because my reaction was the opposite of what I had first expected. Then tears of joy, for I was experiencing the promise of the peace that goes beyond my capability to understand. The verse that filled my thoughts was, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)
Look, I’m not a trained writer. I don’t often know what I’m doing. But maybe that’s good, because the less I know, the more I rely on God.
It’s often hard for me to believe I’m writing a book. I mean, this thing is almost done, and it actually has a decent structure and is readable. For someone who never learned grammar in high school, it’s weird for me to look at this book and realize it came from my own hands.
But it’s not totally mine. This book is actually the product of prayer. I look to God in prayer, and the words for the book come into my mind. Are the words really from God or from me? I don’t know. I just know I couldn’t have done this without His help. He’s always there for me – just a thought away.
My first stepfather sexually abused me when I was 7 years old. A typical situation, I suppose – he threatened harm if I told anyone. Fortunately, there were other problems with the marriage, and my mom divorced him after only a year together. But we all had scars from that experience.
My scars fed my strong desire for revenge. As I grew older and came to understand what he had done to me, I grew angrier. In my late teens, I fantasized about running into him someday. I planned each move, the first being a fully energized kick square in the source of my suffering, sending him to his knees. There were times when I even dreamed of killing him. The hate was strong and painful.
About 20 years later, I met Jesus Christ and He started teaching me about love and forgiveness. It’s taken me a long time to learn the lesson, but I finally let go of the hate. I wholeheartedly forgive my stepfather. I feel sorry for him, for he was a very troubled person. And I’m now free of my own troubles – free from the pain of hate and memories, freed by forgiveness. Thanks to the love and forgiveness of Jesus.
It’s difficult and often dangerous out in the “real” world. As I raised my children, I protected them, fed them, taught them, cared for them, and loved them. I did my best to create a safe, joyful and loving environment at home. Yet they left.
Well of course they left; that’s the way of our society. Raise your children and then send them off on their own, to fend for themselves and put what you taught them into practice, hopefully.
It’s part of our nature to want to go out on our own, and live independent of our parents. We want to make our own decisions and direct our own life, without having to report to someone else. And along with this comes the responsibility of dealing with our own problems, on our own.
Of course for many of us, mom and dad are no farther away that the other end of the telephone, and they are often willing and able to help us deal with our problems. We may have left them when we moved out of their house, but they never really left us. Loving parents make themselves always available to help and guide their adult children.
Where am I going with all this? Well, I think this little scenario illustrates our history and relationship with God.
Humanity, in the persons of Adam and Eve, were lovingly raised by God, who offered them a home with Him, forever. He would protect them, feed them, teach them, care for them and love them. But the independent nature kicked in. Adam and Eve wanted to leave home and go out on their own, make their own decisions and direct their own lives.
I know some self-proclaimed atheists who make a case that all of the world’s problems are evidence that there is no God, for how could a God possibly allow so much evil. The truth is, God does not allow evil, in His home. But humanity struck out on their own, into the cold, cruel, evil world. We left God to go out on our own, spurred on by our prideful ego, which told us we were smart enough to live independent from God.
Yet we are not alone in this cold, cruel world. God is always just on the other end of the phone, lovingly willing to help us deal with our problems. All we need do is call, and listen.
When I was young, inexperienced and foolish, I had a very cloudy concept of what love was. In my search for the meaning of love, I didn’t realize I had to first experience it in order to understand it.
My concept of love gradually clarified and grew as I worked my way through a succession of girl friends, until I finally met the young woman who would become my wife. My feelings for her were like none I had ever experienced before. The emotions were intense. I was totally distracted from other things going on around me.
Love felt great. I became totally immersed in the emotions. I smiled almost all the time. Friends at work would tease me when they spotted me smiling while doing tiresome tasks. “He’s thinking about her again,” they would groan. But is this all that love is meant to be, some euphoric roller coaster ride? What is true love? What is the truth about love?
Now that I’m older and full of wisdom (that’s a joke – I’m still foolish), with help from God I believe I finally know the truth about love. I no longer look upon love as a goal, but rather as a journey. And I see two main stages of this journey.
The love of my youth was the first stage of the journey. As much as I am reluctant to admit it, the love of my youth was selfish love. Even the love for my wife was initially selfish love. Yes, I was very considerate and did any kind thing I could possibly think of. I so wanted to make her happy. But in digging down deep inside my self, I now realize that my foundational motivation was all about me. Making my wife happy makes me feel good. My love for her was actually rather self-centered.
Yet on the journey of love I believe it’s a very short step from this selfish stage, to the next; the self-less stage. True love, love as God would have it, is other-centered love. How might a relationship look with this kind of true love?
Image a relationship where the motivation behind each person’s actions has to do exclusively with the welfare of the other person. The husbands’ only focus is on the wellbeing of his wife. And her only purpose is looking after his wellbeing. In this way, they take care of each other’s needs. I don’t need to be concerned about my self; my wife is doing that for me. Can you imaging any better relationship? This kind of love feeds on itself, gradually and continually growing, for each person is constantly giving, rather than taking.
Paul saw this and defined it quite clearly in his first letter to the Corinthians:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV)
This is other-centered love. This is a love rooted in humility. This is true love.
Looking at the last line in the verse above, the divorce rate would have us believe that love indeed fails. Yes, selfish love fails. Why do people get divorced? Because, “my needs are no longer being met by my spouse,” as someone once told me. Selfish love breads divorce.
But true love, the love that is focused on the other, that love that gives rather than takes; this never fails. God’s love never fails.
Have you seen the video on YouTube? If you haven’t seen Susan Boyles bring shock and awe to the judges and audience of the TV show “Britain’s Got Talent”, then follow this link and I hope you find joy in it… (YouTube video).
I watched for the first time last night, and tears came to my eyes. Not rolling tears, but the kind you can just feel welling up and making your nose sniffle. Then this morning, as I read the article in the newspaper with a bit more information about Susan Boyles the person – the tears flowed this morning. For me, Susan Boyles is a true hero, or rather heroin, just when I need one.
This is not the kind of thing I normally write about, but I am so move by Susan and her story, that I just had to express some of my feelings. The world is a mess, and lately it just seems to be getting messier. Military conflicts, pirates, lost jobs, the grim economy and vaporized savings; it all takes its toll. But then comes someone like Susan Boyles, who for me is a bright ray of sunshine. I think we all need heroes. Thank you Susan for just being you – the best kind of hero there is.
I think that concept of simple heroism kind of caught the judges and audience off guard. We are so used to our hero’s being glamorous, but then someone like Susan Boyles reminds us that it’s the unpretentious hero’s who are the most endearing and captivating.
I have often wondered about what kind of church Jesus had in mind, when He first set things in motion. I try to imagine how the church would look like today, if Jesus had physically stayed around to direct the growth of His church. I find myself looking back to the earliest churches, described in Acts. The church that I imagine looks something like this:
Small groups of people meet in houses. There is no paid staff and there are no church building mortgages or other expenses. Yet there is an offering. The offering from each small house-church goes into some kind of central pool. Whenever an attendee of the church has a financial need, their needs are provided for out of the church pool. And likewise, non-financial needs are also meet by the church, primarily the small group which is really an extension of the family.
I also envision no formal membership process; if you attend even once, you are considered part of the family. When the “house churches” meet, their purpose might simply be to worship God, study His word, and learn about and pray for the needs of each other. This would leave no room for “traditions” (I have a strong aversion to traditions, which tend to get in the way of having a true relationship with Jesus).
Imagine a church whose only purpose is to worship God and help each other. Imagine the magnetic power of a church that is publicly known for lovingly taking care of the needs of those who come to it, looking for help. All “members” of the church are cared for by the church. No condemnation, no guilt, just love. And the “church” would no longer be thought of as a gothic-looking building somewhere, but as a family of loving people. Jesus said that people would know we are His disciples by our love for each other, not by the opulence of the building we meet in.
It seems to me that a model like that would work. Sure there are all kinds of opportunities for unscrupulous people to take advantage of such a model. But that’s where faith comes in; with the faith that Jesus would honor and care for such a church.
In this time of economic turmoil when such a loving, self-supporting church is truly needed; I still imagine, and hope.
My sister once told me that she couldn’t believe what was written in the bible because Genesis talks about people living hundreds of years, and she just didn’t think that was possible. All it took was one thing she couldn’t understand for her to discount the entire bible.
I suspect we’ve all come across people like this, maybe even ourselves at times; there’s something in the bible we don’t understand, and since we feel we should be able to understand, we choose not to believe. After all, why should I believe in something (like God), I cannot possibly understand?
I was reminded of this tendency last night, as I was channel surfing on the TV. I stumbled upon a movie where the particular scene had Jewish concentration camp prisoners putting God on trial*. Their verdict was that God was guilty of putting them in the concentration camp (since I didn’t see the whole thing, I may be wrong). They came to that verdict by analyzing God’s actions as recorded in the Old Testament. There was so much about God’s actions that they simply did not understand, so they condemned God because of that lack of understanding.
* (it was a Masterpiece Theater show appropriately titled, “God on Trial”)
What might Jesus have to say about our apparent need to understand all His ways?
“I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3)
Jesus is telling us that we need to have the faith of a child. Look at it from this perspective: in no way can a child understand all the ways of their parents. Yet, the child still believes in their parents, and loves them unconditionally. So it should be with us and God. True faith is accepting the fact that we cannot possibly understand why God allows certain things to happen. We just accept and believe anyway.
Also, why is it that so many of us have this need to understand all? Simple… ego. Our ego is hungry and wants to understand. And if our ego is not satisfied, it may cause us to act like a child who throws its toy because they are not happy with the answer.
So I guess we all have a choice. We can be a spoiled brat type of child, or a child whose love is not tied to conditions of needing to understand all.
Something to think about on Martin Luther King’s birthday.
Do you believe you aren’t good enough for God to care? Well, God does care, just like a loving parent. But like a parent, God knows when to hold back and not interfere in your life.
A wise parent, when observing their adult child struggling with a problem, may themselves struggle with the desire to jump in and help find a solution. But the wise parent will hold back and wait. They wait for their child to either find their own solution, or admit they cannot, and finally ask for help.
God is the wisest of parents. He will not interfere; He will not help you until and unless you ask. The real power behind asking is this: in asking you exhibit a humility that admits you cannot do it alone, and you exhibit a faith in God that shows you believe in Him. Of course, asking is power-less unless you ask with humility and faith. I once wrote a post on asking God for help. I really hope you check it out (see it here).
And no matter what you may have done in the past, no matter how “good” or “bad” you think you may be, God loves you and He wants to help you. Yet it’s critical that you realize what’s important is faith, not how good or bad you are.
“A person is not justified by observing the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by observing the law, because by observing the law no one will be justified.” (Galatians 2:15-16)
“The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” (Galatians 5:6)
Help from God does not come from obedience to His laws, but rather by faith in His son. We do not become “right” by doing right; this is because none can do right always, there are none without sin. Therefore, our only hope is faith.
Being right in God’s eyes; being “good” in God’s eyes comes from faith in Jesus Christ, not obedience. Do you feel you are not good enough? Do you feel you are not worthy of God’s love? Being “good” and being “worthy” are not what’s required. The only thing that counts is faith.
During this holiday season, if you are down and in despair, please look to God and put your trust and faith in Him. And with humility and faith, ask Him to help you out of your despair.
Do you find yourself out of work this holiday season? Are you in despair and feeling like you don’t know where to turn for help? Maybe the idea of seeking help from God has crossed your mind, but you’ve ruled it out for some reason. Maybe you feel like your past is too dark for God to be willing to help you. Maybe you feel like you’re just not good enough. Or maybe you feel like you just don’t know God well enough for Him to be willing to help you. Do you feel like you need to be “special” before God will answer your prayers?
I may have news for you: God is more gracious and loving than that. Today I wish to give you a Christmas card of sorts. Today I give you God’s words, dedicated to you.
Please read these words as your prayer to God…
“Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord.” (Psalm 25:7)
“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.” (Psalm 25:16-18)
“Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.” (Psalm 25:8-9)
“Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame,” (Psalm 25:2-3)
And please read these words as Jesus Christ responding directly to you…
“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Matthew 9:12)
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” (John 14:1)
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
“For I did not come to judge the world, but to save it.” (John 12:47)
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)
“Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:11)
My Christmas wish for everyone who reads this post is this: may you feel God’s presence and feel His love, more than ever before. And may you feel freedom from the things that cause you to worry; may you feel the un-wavering peace that can only come from Jesus Christ.
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