CJ Penn's Online Writing Hangout

The reason I write: To promote Christian truth and help Jesus get His Christianity back.


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Looking for peace in anxious times?

Since January 20th my anxiety periodically rises to gut-churning and chest-clenching levels. It’s Trump’s actions and decisions—I was hoping for less chaos. How do you feel about what’s going on in the US and the world right now? Do you suffer from Trump-induced anxiety? Are you looking for relief?

Have you ever considered Christianity, though not the Christianity most of us are exposed to? I’m talking about a Christianity that, rather than being a relationship with a manmade church, is an intimate and personal relationship with the Spirit of God.

Look, the way of life that Jesus lived and taught, the way that was eventually labeled “Christianity,” well, that way now suffers from being tainted by 2000 years of human influence. These days, some churches are influenced more by man than God. Yet, have you considered Jesus’ Christianity, the Christianity where the Holy Spirit hasn’t been usurped by the ways of men? You see, the soul of Jesus’ Christianity is the living presence of the Holy Spirit within you.

You can see Jesus’ Christianity in the Bible. It was the Bible, not a church, that first introduced me to the Holy Spirit—not as an ethereal concept, but as life force living within me. The Spirit of God and my soul now share this body I inhabit. And it’s feeling the presence of God and Jesus within me that stifles rising feelings of anxiety. Jesus promised us a peace that goes beyond our ability to understand. That peace comes from His Spirit living within us. I’ve felt that peace.

The Bible will introduce you to the Holy Spirit. He’s there, waiting to read along with you. So, my recommendation for anyone suffering from anxiety is to make some time each morning to open a Bible, open your mind, and shut out the world. And though it may take time to actually feel His presence, look for the Holy Spirit within you.

But if opening the Bible feels daunting or unappealing for some reason, here’s a book that may be easier for you to read: “Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity.” This book looks beneath the 2000-year accumulation of the graffiti of man, to the Holy Spirit and Jesus’ untainted Christianity. You can find the book on Amazon.com.


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Winning the Battle Against Anxiety

Enemies crowd the battlefront, trying to push my buttons and send me into an anxious tailspin. The world is a mess, and I sometimes let it get to me. (I had a list here of my anxiety triggers, but deleted it because I don’t want to accidentally trigger anyone else’s anxiety.) However, there is a way to win the battle.

I’ve tried alcohol, but often with pangs of guilt and fear—fear of losing control and letting the alcohol win. I feel my own weakness, and alcoholism has existed in my family. More recently I’ve tried an herbal supplement that’s supposed to promote calm. I know it’s helpful for some, but I’m not sure if it’s helped me—nothing noticeable, yet. I’ve also tried CBD gummies. I know several people who use CBD to help them deal with anxiety. I’ve felt some effect, but not enough, and I’m hesitant to increase the dosage.

Yet there’ve been times when I’ve found freedom from anxiety—I mean complete freedom. It’s like a wave of peace and calm rolls over me. It’s a warm fuzzy blanket on a cold day. And the thing is, even though I’m frequently consumed by anxiety, I know how to live without it.

I’ve known for a long time. It’s just that sometimes I forget. For me, the trick is to let go of the worldly worries and instead hold onto the presence of God within me. Look, Jesus calls us to be in this world, but not of this world, to not be worldly. I sometimes obsess over what’s going on in this world, and my periodic obsessions feed my anxiety. But the feeling of God’s presence sets me free from the worries of the world.

I could write pages about this. Actually, I already did, within a book I recently published. But for this post I’ll just try to encourage you to look away from the world and all it’s chaos. Instead, quiet your mind and pray, for prayer is where you’ll find God. Focus your mind and heart on the Spirit of God and Jesus within you. If you believe, He’s there, waiting to reach out and spiritually hug you. Expect nothing from yourself—expect everything from God. And take note of what Jesus said:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)

Are you fighting your own battle against anxiety? If so, I strongly recommended you read the gospel of John, especially chapters 14, 15, 16, and 17. And along with Paul, I encourage you, …

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)


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Did traditional church not work for you?

Many people who end up leaving church started out looking for something, something they perhaps couldn’t find in their traditional church experience. So, they left. Sensing that the Christianity I’d been experiencing was influenced more by man than God, and desiring true Christianity rather than some manmade version, many years ago I left church. Without having to look beyond the Bible, I then stepped off on a journey in search of answers, understanding, and a relationship with God that I couldn’t find while attending church.

It’s been about 18 years since I began my journey. Along the way I wrote a book, “Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity.” My book is a record of what I found when I peered beneath the accumulated graffiti of the past 2000 years, graffiti painted by church history and human nature—graffiti in the form of manmade rules, doctrines, beliefs, and traditions.

While writing this book, I found the answers and understanding I’d been looking for, I found healing and recovery from my de-churching experience, and I found a relationship with God and Jesus that’s far beyond anything I was looking for. I hope this book will similarly help those who read it.

If you’re curious about the book, please check it out on Amazon. The “Read sample” selection for the Kindle version is generous. For some weird reason, the paperback “Read sample” selection is small—Amazon quirk, I guess.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DK7VD71B

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Looking for Stress Relief?

Do you feel surrounded by stress-inducers? Take world events—I don’t need to mention which ones might be causing you stress. You know what they are. At least we’re not under attack by another pandemic.

Some look to their religion for stress relief. But what if that’s not doing it for you? Take Christianity for example. What if your experience with Christianity isn’t giving you the peace you’re looking for, the answers you’re looking for, or the sense of God’s presence and protection you may be looking for?

Look, Jesus Christ created a masterpiece when He lived and taught what came to be called Christianity. Then, over the centuries, men splattered graffiti on that masterpiece, graffiti in the form of manmade rules, doctrines, beliefs, and traditions. Today, the manmade sometimes obscures the God-made to the point where, in some Christian circles, Jesus’ masterpiece is barely visible.

Sensing that the Christianity I’d been experiencing was influenced more by man than God, many years ago I left church and stepped off on a multi-year journey in search of the masterpiece. My newly-published book, “Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity,” is a record of what I found when I peered beneath the accumulated graffiti of the past 2000 years, graffiti painted by church history and human nature.

I found the masterpiece. And in that masterpiece, I found the peace I’d always been looking for, the answers I’d been looking for, and God’s presence in my life in a way that’s far beyond anything I’d been looking for. By seeing Jesus’ masterpiece as revealed in my book, maybe you can find what you’ve been looking for.

Paperback and ebook now available on Amazon.

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What’s beneath the graffiti of modern Christianity?

Jesus Christ created a masterpiece when He lived and taught what came to be called Christianity. Then, over the centuries, men splattered graffiti on that masterpiece, graffiti in the form of manmade rules, doctrines, beliefs, and traditions. Today, the manmade often obscures the God-made to the point where, in some Christian circles, Jesus’ masterpiece is barely visible.

MockupSensing that the Christianity I’d been experiencing was influenced more by man than God, many years ago I left church and stepped off on a multi-year journey in search of the masterpiece. My book, “Beneath the Graffiti; A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity,” is a record of what I found when I peered beneath the accumulated graffiti of the past 2000 years, graffiti painted by church history and human nature.

What I found confirmed my suspicions that, when we look on the surface of modern Christianity, we don’t always see what Jesus lived and taught—we don’t always see the truth of what it means to be Christian. Yet, by scraping off the graffiti and revealing Jesus’ masterpiece that’s been hidden beneath, I hope this book will help reverse the decline of Christianity in the US—I hope this book will help Jesus get His Christianity back.


You can follow this link to get a sneak peek at Chapter 1.

And if you’d like to be notified once the book is available on Amazon, please click Follow in the right sidebar, or follow my Facebook page.



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They Relied on the Holy Spirit

Rely on the Holy SpiritFirst century aspiring Christians didn’t have a written word to rely on—they didn’t have a New Testament—which may have been to their advantage. They didn’t need the written word, for as promised, Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to guide them. The paradox today is that the written word can sometimes be a distraction, getting in the way of someone becoming truly Christian. For as Jesus warned:

“You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life. … The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing.” (John 5:39-40 and 6:63)

Oh sure, Jesus relied on scripture when He walked the roads of ancient Israel. But He relied on His Father more.  And if we’re going to consider ourselves Christian, Jesus calls us to do the same:

“I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, so that He may be with you forever; the Helper is the Spirit of truth. … But the Helper, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and remind you of all that I said to you.” (John 14:16-17, 26)

“I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth.” (John 16:12-13)


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Manmade verses God-made

Manmade Ch. or Jesus' Ch.When we look on the surface of modern Christianity, we don’t always see what Jesus had in mind. Rather, we often see a manmade version, a form that at least partially paints Christianity in man’s image rather than God’s image, thus defacing Jesus’ truth.

Of course, many adherents to a manmade version of Christianity are reluctant to accept this claim. As I’ve experienced, some will vehemently argue that the nuances of their religion represent true Christianity, unpolluted by human influence. Over the centuries, their predecessors perfected the arguments approving the authority of their manmade version of church, and their definition of what it means to be Christian.

But consider this, from Jesus: “In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me” (John 18:37). Now consider what Peter said when challenged by the religious leaders of his day who clung to their manmade rules and traditions: “Which is right in God’s eyes: to listen to you, or to him? You be the judges!” (Acts 4:19).

The choice facing all who call themselves Christian is, will they listen to Jesus and His truth, or to those who cling to a defaced version of Jesus’ Christianity.


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“We Called Him Yeshua,” Now FREE on Amazon

Is reality getting you down … again? Try escaping for a time to another reality. Within the pages of We Called Him Yeshua, you can join those who walked with Jesus on the roads of ancient Israel. Follow them as they follow Him. Experience what they experienced, feel what they felt. It can be almost as if you were there.

3D cover 1 croppedStarting today, the ebook is FREE on Amazon for a limited time. Click here to go to the Amazon book page to check it out. And please recommend this to friends, while the ebook is still free.


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A Good Read for the Easter Holydays

Palm Sunday is almost here, followed closely by Good Friday, culminating in Easter Sunday. Are you looking for something to read that might help you better see and appreciate these holydays?

Amazon 3-26-21“We Called Him Yeshua” is a novel that will take you down the road leading to that first Easter Sunday. By seeing through the eyes of people who followed Jesus on that road, you might actually feel yourself sharing in their experiences, almost as if you were there too. You can read more about the story, and even get a peek inside, on the Amazon book page.

Also, in honor of these holydays, the Kindle version will be FREE on Amazon starting this Palm Sunday, March 28. And it will remain FREE until midnight Thursday, April 1.

(click here to go to Amazon page)

If you like, please refer this book to a friend.


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Invasion of the Body Snatcher?

Invasion of the Body SnatcherOkay, this might at first sound weird, but please stay with me to the end. Maybe you’ve seen movies like Invasion of the Body Snatchers, where people’s bodies get taken over by some other creature. Now, with that bizarre and maybe scary image in your mind, please consider this …

When Jesus walked the earth, back in the days of ancient Israel, His Spirit lived within His body, naturally. Then, Jesus died and went to heaven. But, as He had promised, he has sent His Spirit, the Holy Spirit, to be with us.

Well, maybe this could be somewhat like a heavenly version of those dark movies. Jesus’ Spirit wants to live in our bodies. Jesus wants to walk the earth again, in our bodies. But of course, Jesus won’t do this unless we open up and let Him in.

An invasion? No. Not at all.

Rather, Jesus is giving us an invitation. An invitation to live with Him and never be alone. He’s not looking to take over, like in those B-rated movies. He’s looking to share, and take care.

So, what do you think about this image I’ve tried to paint for you?


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I Give You Love, I Hope

It’s not much, but it’s all I have to give you. And this Christmas, more than any other in my life, I think giving is more important than ever, much more important than receiving.

All I have to give you is an ebook—not much really. But I think the most important gifts anyone can give this year are more than books or anything else we can hold in our hands. The most important gifts are things like kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and love.

My hope is that my little gift of this book may blossom into a more intimate relationship with Jesus, where you truly feel His love. My hope is that I’m giving you love.

And for reasons maybe none of us can anticipate, I hope you have a Christmas that, though maybe stained with sorrow, is also filled with unexpected joy, a joy you can carry with you as we all stumble into the next year.

To receive the gift I give to you, please go to the Amazon page and download the Kindle book. It will remain free only through the end of today.

Click here to go to Amazon book page.

And maybe you too can give this book as a Christmas gift. To help, I’ll keep the price as low as Amazon will allow until the end of December.

 

 

 


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Jesus, the Man

What follows is an excerpt from the novel, We Called Him Yeshua. Though they called him Yeshua, most of us call him Jesus.


– Anna –

Rounding a bend in the road, we came to a cluster of buildings near the top of the pass. As our caravan slowed, a man ran out from one of houses and rushed to Yeshua. “Lord, the one you love is sick,” he panted.

Yeshua cast a concerned glance toward one of the houses. “This sickness will not end in death,” he said. “No, it is for God’s glory.” He then continued walking toward Jerusalem. We silently followed.

The road curved down the other side of the mountains, hugging the steep hillside. The city gradually came into view, shining in the light of the afternoon sun. I peeked over the edge of the road—the hill fell sharply into the valley below. At the sight, my head grew dizzy and I lurched back. My stomach felt like a squirming snake, trying to escape up my throat.

 

An hour after leaving the pass, we suddenly stopped. Yeshua, just a few paces ahead, stood completely rigid, staring at something on the side of the road. Then, his cheek twitched, his knees trembled and … he grabbed Simon’s arm as his legs began to give way.

I looked up, past Yeshua. Terror swept over me. My breath came in rapid gasps, my heart pounded, color faded, everything turned black … then …

 

“Anna, come back.”

I woke to Yeshua’s face, weakly smiling down at me, his eyes moist. He caressed my hand. I stirred and felt someone holding me. I looked down to see Matthias’ hands on my hips. My head rested against his chest. Neri, Ruth, and Jared gazed down, all with deep concern in their eyes.

I pushed away from Matthias—he didn’t want to let go. Yeshua quickly took both my hands in his and lifted me to my feet.

Before me, across a narrow valley, sat the city on top of a hill, shockingly large, with the Temple spires towering above it all. Turning, I saw him again, grisly and sickening, nailed to a tree on the other side of the road. The man just hung there, not moving, guarded by two Roman soldiers.

Dried blood stained his feet, hands, and the underside of his stretched-out arms. The skin on his feet and hands was bluish-black. His shoulders looked severely bruised. Yet the man was alive—withered, dry, drained, like an empty shell, but alive. He stared down at me through half-opened eyes.

Yeshua turned me away, pulled me forward a few paces, and placed my hand in Ruth’s. We continued down the road, Yeshua in the lead. He seemed to be walking slower than ever.

**********************************

– Neri –

To the left, the slope climbed behind the crucified man to the peaks above. To the right, the hill fell to the valley below. And beyond that—

“Neri,” Jared whispered, “Did you see Yeshua, when he first saw that crucified man?”

“Yes,” I said. “Looked terrified.”

Jared’s brow furrowed. “His reaction surprised me. I mean, he’s the son of God. What does he have to fear?”

“I don’t know. Maybe there’s more human in him than we realize.”

Jared looked thoughtful for a moment. “And maybe we’d rather think of him more as the Son of God, than as a man.”


Would you like to read more? Click on the image below to go to the Amazon book page.


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Just do it

So much violence… so much hatred… too much. Seems like the world is falling apart. Lots of people, like me, are trying to help by recommending we all look to God and Jesus for comfort and answers, and peace. What can I add that hasn’t already been said? Nothing. So with regard to what all compassionate folk are recommending, enough writing. I’m just gonna go do it. “Dear Jesus, I’m hurting and I need your help…”


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It is Finished

The pain is constant. Searing. It feels like I’m on an ocean, and the waves of pain are crashing over me. When I lift up on my legs to breathe, the waves crash into my feet, up my legs and into my core. And then, when my legs give out and my full weight again falls on my arms, the waves crash into my chest and back, and my dislocated shoulders, and my arms and hands. And my skinless back rubs against the harsh wood of the cross. There is no escape.

Yet what feels worse than the pain is this feeling of being alone. Surrounded by this growing crowd, yet I don’t feel His presence. My Father is gone. I’ve never known this before, this emptiness, this parched, vast void of emptiness. It’s crushing my soul. The pain of the whip and the cross becomes numb next to this feeling of being so alone. Yes, I still feel the pain. It’s still there, sharp and mean. But its intensity is being overpowered by the agony of this aloneness, the agony of my Father no longer here with me. Oh, my humanness is shattered by the pain of the torture they whipped and pounded into me. But my spirit is collapsing under the weight of this emptiness.

“Father, why have you forsaken me?”

Yet I know why. It’s the sin. The sin of the world is upon me.

The pain is fading now, it’s becoming softer. It’s starting to feel more like a dream than real. And the light is fading; the sky darkens. The end must be near.

There, opening up before me, is a dark, lightless pit. Empty. Alone. This devouring emptiness is spewing from there… the very pit of hell. The presence of my Father is nowhere. Over there, toward the city gate, I see people and earth and sky. I see God’s creation. But this pit before me – there is nothing. No Father, no creation, just void. Hell; absolute emptiness, gaping wide, reaching for me. So dark, and hungry. It ravages me. It consumes me. It’s pulling on me, adding its dead weight to my dying arms. It’s rising up to grab me and pull me down, gripping me in its ravenous maw. With my death it will have me. It will swallow me. That inky, thick, black fog of dread and evil; it’s flowing over me. I’m drowning in the smothering dread of hell. I cannot breathe!

The pain is gone. The nails are gone. The cross is gone. I’m falling… into hell. All light and life are gone.

“It is finished.”
(An excerpt from a book I’m writing. Copyright 2015, CJ Penn)


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Being a WWJD Christian

WWJD

Do you want to be an imitator of God? “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children.” (Ephesians 5:1) Do you want to be a WWJD Christian, every moment doing what Jesus would do? You can’t… on your own.

The only way you can is to let Jesus live within you, doing what He would do through you. You can be a WWJD Christian if you let Him. But it’s not “What Would Jesus Do,” as if you are trying to imitate Him. It’s “What Will Jesus Do,” as He lives and acts and speaks from within you – His Holy Spirit sharing your body, mind, and soul. We can be more than imitators of God. And I’m so grateful.


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There Is No Greater Love

[Look, something brought you to this blog post. If it was a mistake—sorry. But if you’d like to see something that is probably more worth your time, please check out the blurb about my soon-to-be-published novel on my new website. It’s basically about seeing a different perspective of Jesus, through the eyes of some background characters in the Bible. New website: cjpenn.com]

love on cross

The night before Jesus was nailed to the cross, as he prepared himself for death, He looked to His disciples and… “He said to them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.’” (Matthew 26:38)

While praying for strength, just moments before His arrest, “And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.” (Luke 22:44) There is a medical condition called Hematidrosis, where blood vessels can pop due to extreme stress, and the blood will mix with sweat. Jesus was in such stress.

Yes, Jesus is God, but He was also fully human. It’s important for us to know that what Jesus did for us was not easy. Yet Jesus was overwhelmed by more than the anticipation of torturous pain and death. What was crushing Jesus was the promise of what waited on the other side of death.

Shortly before His death, while praying to His Father, Jesus prayed for us, saying, “I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.” (John 17:21) Even as He prayed these words, Father and Son both knew that very soon, they would not be together. They would not be one.

The death penalty for sins includes separation from God – this is the definition of hell. For the first time in eternity, Father and Son would not be spiritually together. Following His mortal death, Jesus descended into hell.

The sins of humanity kidnapped the Son from His adoring Father. Picture a weeping mother handing over her baby to kidnappers. God and His Son endured this heart-wrenching pain voluntarily. The Father shared the sacrifice of the Son. There is no greater pain for a parent than to loose their child to death.

There is no greater love in all of history than the mutual love God and Jesus showed for us. As Jesus said, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16, emphasis added) God held out His Son, and sin ripped Jesus from His Fathers arms, and killed Him.

Once, when I was helping with our church youth group, one of the kids shared a saying he had heard: “Nails didn’t keep Jesus on the cross – love did.” We see the truth of the cross in the mutual love of God and Jesus, for us. That’s what kept Jesus on the cross.

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.” (1 John 3:16)


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Jesus on the Edge

I just got back from the grocery store. Got my leg ‘o lamb for our Easter dinner. And, check out this picture of the magazine rack in the check-out line…

 Jesus magazine

At first I didn’t know what to think about it. Jesus, next to a wine tasting mag, and right across the little isle was another magazine rack, next to the candy and gum, filled with glamour model’s cleavage and movie stars cellulite. At first, it all seemed odd to me… a bit edgy.

But what would Jesus think about hanging out with wine lovers, glamour models and movie stars? I think He’d consider that tame, especially compared with some of the crowd He used to hang out with. While He walked the roads of Israel, Jesus seemed to spend more time with lowlife’s, prostitutes, hated tax collectors and other sinners. Jesus lived on the edge of “acceptable” society. So I think Jesus would be okay with the placement of His manmade image on a magazine in the grocery check-out isle.

I hope you all have a great Easter. CJ


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Gift Exchange

Today, Good Friday, we recognize the sacrifice Jesus took upon Himself for all of us. He gave His life for us. Because I’m so grateful, I’d like to give Jesus something in return. As He did for me, I’d like to do for Him – I’d like to give Jesus my life.

To surrender my life to Jesus – how can I do that today? What does this look like? How about this: I’ll give Jesus my thoughts today, as often as I am able.

Are you grateful for what Jesus did for you? Give Him your thoughts today. Focus your mind on Jesus as often as you are able.


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Coffee With Jesus

coffee with Jesus

One of my favorite times of the day is early morning, when it’s still dark outside, with my cold hands warming around a hot cup of coffee. My mind starts out wandering, never stopping long in one spot. My thoughts are looking for Jesus, within me, yet my spiritual attention deficit disorder (SADD), keeps scattering my thoughts, hindering my efforts to find Jesus.

But soon the coffee gives my wandering mind the strength to wrest control of my thoughts and focus on my search for Jesus. And He’s always there waiting for me, in the midst of my thoughts.

We sit there together, while I sip my coffee. Closing my eyes to block out the distractions of the world, I look inside, to Jesus. And we just hang out together. Sometimes I talk. Often I try to just quiet my mind and listen. This quiet time with Jesus is my favorite time of the day. And I’m so grateful.


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Finding Jesus in My Writing

ghost writer

I recently got some great advice from an editor friend of mine, and now I’m totally re-writing the first chapter of the book I’m working on. As for the rest of the book – I don’t know yet. Revision 11 is looking meaty. What revision will be the final one, 22?

When will this book be finished? I’m three months away from the seven year anniversary of the day I started working on this book. Whether I ever publish it or not, I sure would like to finish it someday. I’m getting impatient. I want to be done with it. Here I am, still getting up each morning way before sunrise, just so I can have an hour or two to write before going to work. Seven years now of the same routine, and the end still looks far off and blurry.

This morning I was praying about all this, again. And thank you Jesus for reminding me what’s important.

It’s not finishing the book that’s important, at least right now. The focus may shift to finishing at some time, but right now it’s all about writing. What gets me out of bed each morning is the joy of finding Jesus in my writing. When my words are His words – this is what I chase after each morning. And when I’m able to empty myself enough to let Him write through me, those are the best moments of my day. Well worth getting out of bed before the crows. And I’ll keep at it until Jesus says it’s done.