The Jesus some of us imagine is the Hollywood Jesus: stoic, mild mannered, soft-spoken, somewhat dull and emotionless. Yet as the stories in the Bible make clear, Jesus was no otherworldly droid, immune to human emotions and pain, shuffling about dispensing miracles.
There’s a story about a man suffering from leprosy: “While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, ‘Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean’” (Luke 5:12). Those stricken with leprosy were outcasts. People would have avoided this man. It may have been years since someone had touched him, since a hand had rested on his shoulder in a moment of comfort. “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean,” he said to Jesus. He didn’t doubt Jesus’ ability, only His willingness to heal him. It had been that long since this man felt kindness and compassion from another person.
We know from other stories that Jesus could have instantly healed the man with a simple command, like “be healed.” However, Jesus did something different. He did something radical. Jesus first gave the man what he needed most.
Picture the man on his knees with his face to the ground, perhaps afraid to look up, perhaps afraid he’d see Jesus turn His back on him and walk away. Now picture Jesus kneeling down in front of the man, and then … “Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man” (verse 13). I like to picture Jesus gently squeezing the man’s shoulder, followed by the man tentatively lifting his head and looking up. Seeing the compassion in Jesus’ face and feeling it in the hand on his shoulder, tears well up in the man’s eyes, run down his leprosy-scarred cheeks and into his beard.
The point is, for the first time in perhaps years, another person touched this lonely, outcast of a human being. Jesus gave the man what he needed most—love and compassion. In the midst of the emotion swelling within the man, Jesus then said, “I am willing. Be clean,” and the man was immediately healed of leprosy.
Like Neo in the movie The Matrix, was I living in a world of deception? Neo was an unwitting prisoner in a computer-generated, virtual reality world—the Matrix. While Neo may have suspected something was wrong with his reality, he didn’t know there was another world out there, the real world, beyond the virtual world of his experience. Then Morpheus, another Matrix character, called Neo to wake up to the truth.
About twenty years ago, I first suspected I was living in a human-generated version of Christianity, where though it was put forth as true to what Jesus lived and taught, it wasn’t. I began to sense another Christianity out there, a real Christianity, beyond the Christianity of my experience. And it felt like Morpheus was calling me to wake up to the truth, a truth hidden beneath the graffiti of church history and human nature.
I struggled through those years, trying to understand what I was feeling and why. At first, I didn’t know what to do about my feelings, or how to respond to that imagined Morpheus voice. Then, realizing that “Christianity” and “Christian” are manmade terms subject to human definition and manipulation, I felt a growing desire to know how Jesus would define Christianity. What would Jesus say it means to be a Christian? So, I listened to the voice.
Eventually, a new image seeped into my mind, an image that helped solidify my resolve to search for the truth of Christianity. Picture a Bible resting on a table. The Bible—the collection of historical documents that defines Jesus’ version of Christianity—was compiled a few centuries after Jesus showed us His Christianity. Then, as the centuries ticked by, men added other books.
Where Jesus’ Christianity and what it means to be Christian is defined by God’s word as recorded in the Bible, manmade versions of Christianity are often defined and governed by those manmade rulebooks. Now, looking at that pile of books, where’s Jesus’ Christianity?
Stepping back to take in the bigger picture painted by the Bible, a new question snuck in. Why? Why are we the way we are? Why is there so much evil in the world? Why is life sometimes so difficult? Why is peace with each other, and even with God, sometimes so unattainable? And why is it so hard to believe? Without falling too deeply into philosophical notions, I guess I just wanted to know what life’s all about—the elusive meaning of life.
So much of life felt either meaningless or perilous. I wanted something solid and unchanging to hold onto, a safe place in the midst of this conspiracy-theory-dominated, truth-starved, war-rattled, chaotic world. I was craving meaning and a purpose I could believe in without fear and doubts, and I wasn’t finding that in the church I was attending.
Then it happened, a situation at church. I mean, this was a big deal. It wounded me and left me confused. That’s not true Christianity, is it? I kept asking myself. That can’t be what Jesus has in mind. The episode added to my sense of a false Christianity, a Christianity matrix that had been holding me, and those sitting in the pews next to me, captive.
I have friends who found freedom from similar situations by quitting Christianity. I wasn’t interested in going that far. Instead, I quit that church. I visited other churches around town, yet nothing felt right, and I didn’t know why. The whole experience was disorienting and depressing. I eventually decided to go it alone. However, as I later learned, I was never truly alone.
Soon after becoming a church refugee, I began spending all my spare time searching for the truth about the way of life that Jesus lived and taught, what I call Jesus’ Christianity. I suspected I’d find it somewhere under the false Christianity that held me captive. Something told me it was there, like Morpheus sending me that cryptic message, “Wake up CJ. Manmade Christianity has you.”
Entering the campus of Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland, my wife and I followed the herd of other tourists through Library Square when I looked up to see a large sign saying, “Falsehood flies, and truth comes limping after it,” by Jonathan Swift. Yes, it seems that in our society, falsehoods often prevail far more than truth. What matters most to some people is who said something, rather than the trustworthiness of what they said. For many people, truth is whatever they decide it to be. But remembering that Jonathan Swift quote has fueled my desire to give truth—that is, Jesus’ truth as defined in the Bible—a shoulder to lean on, especially when many people are kicking it in the shins.
As I stepped off on my own journey many years ago, there was a new question loitering in my mind. Jesus had said, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). But, free from what? I suspected there was something more than freedom from wounds and captivity to a manmade Christianity. I suspected there was something else holding me prisoner that I wasn’t aware of … like the matrix.
So, now it’s decision time. Will you stop here and remain captive to a distorted, manmade image of Christianity, a Christianity that may be blinding you to the truth? Or, will you follow me at least a little farther on this journey to uncover the truth? For Matrix fans, this is the blue pill or red pill moment. And like Morpheus said, all I’m offering you is the truth. Nothing more.
The years haven’t been kind to Christianity. The way of life that Jesus lived and taught has been scared by the influences of man. Sometimes, what we see on the surface shows little resemblance to what Jesus originated.
That’s what can happen after 2000 years—2000 years of human tinkering, manipulation, and customization. For evidence, consider the hundreds of different denominations, each with their own customized rules, doctrines, beliefs, and traditions. However, as different as they are from one another, they all call what they preach the same thing … Christianity.
But is it really Christianity, or more specifically, the Christianity that Jesus lived and taught? How far have some of those variants drifted from what existed 2000 years ago? And what did exist 2000 years ago?
Is the Christianity you’ve experienced authentic Christianity, or has it been influenced more by man that God? If that question stirs a feeling in your soul, please consider my book, Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity. The book is a record of what I found when I peered beneath the 2000-year accumulation of manmade clutter.
The years haven’t been kind to Christianity. The way of life that Jesus lived and taught has been scared by the influences of man. Sometimes, what we see on the surface shows little resemblance to what Jesus promoted.
That’s what can happen after 2000 years—2000 years of human influence, of tinkering, manipulation, and customization. For evidence, consider the hundreds of different denominations, each with their own customized rules, doctrines, beliefs, and traditions. However, as different as they are from one another, they all call what they preach the same thing … Christianity.
But is it really Christianity, or more specifically, the Christianity that Jesus lived and taught? How far have some of those variants drifted from what existed 2000 years ago? And what did exist 2000 years ago?
That last question is the one that lingered most in my mind as I finally gave up on church, feeling that the church I’d long been a member of had drifted far off from what Jesus initiated. That question gave me a gentle shove down a path that led me on a journey in search of Christianity, original Christianity, the Christianity that Jesus lived and taught.
Is the Christianity you’ve experienced authentic Christianity, or has it been influenced more by man that God? If that question stirs a feeling in your soul, please consider my book, Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity. The book is a record of what I found when I peered beneath the 2000-year accumulation of manmade clutter. What I found was Jesus’ Christianity hidden beneath. But be advised, for within the pages of this book you may discover more than the truth of Christianity.
David wrote, “One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.” (Psalm 27:4))
Since he said “all the days of my life,” I believe David wasn’t referring only to his eventual living with God in heaven. I believe he also was referring to his here-and-now life on earth.
To “dwell in the house of the Lord” means to share the dwelling in which God lives. But God doesn’t live only in heaven—He also lives within the souls of those who believe and accept Him. So, to “dwell in the house of the Lord” means to BE that house, to be the dwelling in which God lives. YOU can be God’s dwelling, via His Holy Spirit living within you, sharing your body with you. And where God lives, there is love and peace … and no anxiety.
So, as I’ve recommended before, if you’re looking for freedom from anxiety, look within yourself for the presence of the Holy Spirit. The more you look, the more real His presence will become.
Jesus said, “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.” (John 14:16-17)
Yes, for many of us these are anxious times—no need for details. But what if you knew and felt the presence of the Holy Spirit within you? We need never be alone in dealing with this life we’re emersed in. We need never be alone in our anxiety.
Try this: Envision the Spirit within you as the Spirit of God or the Spirit of Jesus, whoever is most comfortable for you—they are both the same Spirit. Conjure up an image in your mind. Look, He’s smiling at you, with a soft, gentle smile, a smile filled with love. Hold onto that image and go back to that image as you venture through your day.
“Ever consider Christianity? To help with the stress?
“What!? Are you kidding!? Christianity’s part of the problem. Look at all the Christians who voted for the guy. And then there’s the whole Christian Nationalism thing.”
“No, not that Christianity—I mean, that’s not really Christianity. I’m talking about the way of life that Jesus promoted … before men got ahold of it and splattered it with their self-centered ideas.”
“A Jesus Christianity? Really? Is there such a thing, and do you think it would help? I mean, help me deal with all the crap that’s going on?”
“It helps me.”
“Hmm. Okay, sure. I’m game. So how do I learn about this Jesus Christianity?”
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“Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity”
In referring to God, King David said, “Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and joy are in his dwelling place.” (1 Chronicles 16:27)
And as Jesus said, “Those who love me will keep my word, and my Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.” (John 14:23)
You can be God’s dwelling place. And where God dwells, there is strength and joy, just what many of us need right now.
God dwells in us via His Holy Spirit. Not as an ethereal concept, but as the actual and living Spirit of God and Jesus, sharing your body with your soul, filling you with strength and joy. Now that’s freedom from anxiety.
Since January 20th my anxiety periodically rises to gut-churning and chest-clenching levels. It’s Trump’s actions and decisions—I was hoping for less chaos. How do you feel about what’s going on in the US and the world right now? Do you suffer from Trump-induced anxiety? Are you looking for relief?
Have you ever considered Christianity, though not the Christianity most of us are exposed to? I’m talking about a Christianity that, rather than being a relationship with a manmade church, is an intimate and personal relationship with the Spirit of God.
Look, the way of life that Jesus lived and taught, the way that was eventually labeled “Christianity,” well, that way now suffers from being tainted by 2000 years of human influence. These days, some churches are influenced more by man than God. Yet, have you considered Jesus’ Christianity, the Christianity where the Holy Spirit hasn’t been usurped by the ways of men? You see, the soul of Jesus’ Christianity is the living presence of the Holy Spirit within you.
You can see Jesus’ Christianity in the Bible. It was the Bible, not a church, that first introduced me to the Holy Spirit—not as an ethereal concept, but as life force living within me. The Spirit of God and my soul now share this body I inhabit. And it’s feeling the presence of God and Jesus within me that stifles rising feelings of anxiety. Jesus promised us a peace that goes beyond our ability to understand. That peace comes from His Spirit living within us. I’ve felt that peace.
The Bible will introduce you to the Holy Spirit. He’s there, waiting to read along with you. So, my recommendation for anyone suffering from anxiety is to make some time each morning to open a Bible, open your mind, and shut out the world. And though it may take time to actually feel His presence, look for the Holy Spirit within you.
But if opening the Bible feels daunting or unappealing for some reason, here’s a book that may be easier for you to read: “Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity.” This book looks beneath the 2000-year accumulation of the graffiti of man, to the Holy Spirit and Jesus’ untainted Christianity. You can find the book on Amazon.com.
Whether Christian or not, have you ever wondered about the validity of the Christianity you’ve seen and experienced? Have you ever wondered if that’s how it’s really supposed to be? Have you ever been curious about how true Christianity—that is, the Christianity that Jesus Christ lived and taught—might differ from the Christianity you’ve experienced?
You can find answers, and the truth, in the book, “Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity.”
Where modern Christianity reflects 2000 years of human influence, “Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity” uncovers old Christianity, the Christianity that Jesus lived and taught. It’s the Christianity of the Bible presented in a very relatable way.
Many people who end up leaving church started out looking for something, something they perhaps couldn’t find in their traditional church experience. So, they left. Sensing that the Christianity I’d been experiencing was influenced more by man than God, and desiring true Christianity rather than some manmade version, many years ago I left church. Without having to look beyond the Bible, I then stepped off on a journey in search of answers, understanding, and a relationship with God that I couldn’t find while attending church.
It’s been about 18 years since I began my journey. Along the way I wrote a book, “Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity.” My book is a record of what I found when I peered beneath the accumulated graffiti of the past 2000 years, graffiti painted by church history and human nature—graffiti in the form of manmade rules, doctrines, beliefs, and traditions.
While writing this book, I found the answers and understanding I’d been looking for, I found healing and recovery from my de-churching experience, and I found a relationship with God and Jesus that’s far beyond anything I was looking for. I hope this book will similarly help those who read it.
If you’re curious about the book, please check it out on Amazon. The “Read sample” selection for the Kindle version is generous. For some weird reason, the paperback “Read sample” selection is small—Amazon quirk, I guess.
Get to know Jesus in a way you may not have experienced before. See Him from a new perspective. Hear His story as told by the nameless who followed Him along the roads of ancient Israel.
Do you feel surrounded by stress-inducers? Take world events—I don’t need to mention which ones might be causing you stress. You know what they are. At least we’re not under attack by another pandemic.
Some look to their religion for stress relief. But what if that’s not doing it for you? Take Christianity for example. What if your experience with Christianity isn’t giving you the peace you’re looking for, the answers you’re looking for, or the sense of God’s presence and protection you may be looking for?
Look, Jesus Christ created a masterpiece when He lived and taught what came to be called Christianity. Then, over the centuries, men splattered graffiti on that masterpiece, graffiti in the form of manmade rules, doctrines, beliefs, and traditions. Today, the manmade sometimes obscures the God-made to the point where, in some Christian circles, Jesus’ masterpiece is barely visible.
Sensing that the Christianity I’d been experiencing was influenced more by man than God, many years ago I left church and stepped off on a multi-year journey in search of the masterpiece. My newly-published book, “Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity,” is a record of what I found when I peered beneath the accumulated graffiti of the past 2000 years, graffiti painted by church history and human nature.
I found the masterpiece. And in that masterpiece, I found the peace I’d always been looking for, the answers I’d been looking for, and God’s presence in my life in a way that’s far beyond anything I’d been looking for. By seeing Jesus’ masterpiece as revealed in my book, maybe you can find what you’ve been looking for.
Do you know someone who’s been wounded by an experience with a church or a Christian? Do you know someone who, though a long-time churchgoer, eventually gave up on church, maybe because of a bad experience? And though giving up on church, they didn’t necessarily give up on Jesus? Is this describing you?
Whether this describes you or someone you know, my just-published book, “Beneath the Graffiti: A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity,” may help them recover from wounds inflicted by past experiences. It may even help them find new meaning and purpose by revealing to them authentic Christianity, a Christianity they may not have experienced at church, a Christianity that reflects the way of life that Jesus lived and taught.
For reasons I at first didn’t understand, I began to doubt the authenticity of the Christianity I’d been experiencing, at least the Christianity practiced in my small corner of the Christian world. So, after leaving the church I’d been attending for over twelve years, I went looking for the truth. That is, I went searching for Jesus’ Christianity, a Christianity I could believe in without doubts, a Christianity that wasn’t stained by the influences of man and the world.
In my just-published book, “Beneath the Graffiti; A De-churched Christian’s Search for Christianity,” you can follow me as I look beneath the graffiti of manmade rules, doctrines, beliefs, and traditions, to uncover the original masterpiece that Jesus lived and taught.
Paperback and ebook now available on Amazon, where you can read a more detailed description. Plus, there’s a generous “Read sample” selection for the Kindle version (the paperback version shows less—just an Amazon quirk, I suppose).
CJ Penn's Online Writing Hangout 