CJ Penn's Online Writing Hangout

The reason I write: To promote Christian truth and help Jesus get His Christianity back.

Tag Archives: Relationships


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The Spirit Speaks – Seek & Find

seek and find

Do you wonder at my existence? Are you uncertain, yet curious? Am I really the Spirit of Jesus Christ? Do I really exist within your being, sharing your body with your very soul?

If such questions occupy your mind, maybe that’s because I occupy a space in your heart. Such questions come from me, within you. Your earth-bound rational mind will doubt, yet there is part of you that is able to escape the limits of your humanity and look beyond the things you can see, to me.

Look for my story within the pages of the Bible. Look for me within you. Seek, and you will find me in prayer. For prayer is where you and I come together. Prayer is where wonder and curiosity becomes reality… with me, within you.


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The Spirit Speaks – of the One True Church

One true church

When I walked the earth as Jesus Christ, space and time trapped me by their physical limits. You know how this feels. Yet I now have no limits. I can be everywhere, within everyone, all at the same time.

In this way, I can bring unity to humanity. With me within you, and if I’m also within your neighbor, then you and your neighbor are firmly connected to each other, through me.

This is the true Church of Jesus Christ… all Spirit-filled believers, united by their common bond with me. The true church is not a building or an organization run by men. The church is you, if you believe in me and recognize my presence within you.

“Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? … for God’s temple is sacred, and you are that temple.” (1 Corinthians 3:16, 17)


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The Spirit Speaks – I’m Always With You

Holy Spirit in you

Dear friend,

I, the Spirit of Jesus Christ, am forever and always with you. My eyes never close. My mind is never somewhere else. I focus my being on you.

Your mind scampers from one thing to another throughout the day, sometimes landing on me. Yet you will soon step off and chase after other thoughts. Such is the way in the world – it can be difficult to stay with me for more than a moment. Then at night while you sleep, you lose all control of your mind, and you may rarely come to me in your dreams.

But I’m forever and always looking upon you. I’m standing right here, next to your conscious mind, waiting for you to turn to me. How does that feel, to know that I’m always here within your very being, hand-in-hand with your soul?


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The Spirit Speaks – From Within You

Holy Spirit inside

I, the living Spirit of Jesus Christ… I know how hungry life is for all your conscious thoughts. The world around you is greedy, not content with anything less than your full attention. And I know how difficult it can be to wrest your mind away from the world and look to me.

But I’m always here, just below the surface of your thoughts, waiting for you to look my way. Look inside yourself – you will find me there. While I walked the earth as Jesus Christ, I promised all of humanity that I would send my Spirit to live within you. Not walking with you, side by side, but living in you, sharing your body with you. Your soul and my Spirit living together as one, just as our Father and I are one – this is my promise to you.

Does it feel like you don’t know me? Do you doubt my reality? Then please, look inside yourself – you will find the truth of me there, living within you, patiently waiting for you to look my way.


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The Spirit Speaks … to You

Holy Spirit

When your alarm goes off and you pull yourself out of bed, you’re not alone. As you go about your day, you’re never alone. All day long, I am there with you – the living Spirit of your eternal friend, Jesus Christ. I died for you – I now live with you.

Do you not believe in me, or does your belief feel weak and uncertain? My love for you is not a measure of your belief. My love for you is overflowing and unchanging. And my love is patient – I will not chase after you. My love will wait for you to turn to me.

Yet when you turn, you will find me right there. You are never alone. I’m always here with you, just a thought away.


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Book Challenge Day #8 – Follow the Bouncing Ball

bouncing balls

The only time I have to write is early morning, yet it can be the worst time. My mind is so scattered in the morning. Oh, things begin to come into focus as the coffee takes hold, but my mind still tends to bounce from one thought to another, just more slowly. It’s like a super-ball hurled to the garage floor, bouncing around so fast it’s hard to keep your eyes on it, but slowing a bit over time. Such is my morning mind.

Well, the coffee cup is empty now. My mind is able to spend more time focused on the loving Spirit of Jesus within me. And He’s helping me, tugging on my thoughts, keeping them from bouncing too far away again. So now I’ll open my notebook and see what grows out of my pen. Will there be progress with my book challenge this morning? Stay tuned…

 

… I’m back, an hour later. It’s amazing what can happen when I step on the bouncing ball of my thoughts and focus on Jesus. I just finished the first draft of the first chapter. And though it’s still rough, I like the tone that’s being set.

It always happens this way when I’m writing. The best stuff grows out of my pen and crawls across the pages of my notebook only when my thoughts are set on Jesus within me, when He is writing with me. And I’m so grateful.

 

(July 24, 2015: day 7 down, 86 more to go, of The Challenge… to write a book, from concept to self-publish, in 3 months.)


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The Barrier of Life

Prison wall

Life often feels like a barrier between God and me.

The distractions that battle for my attention block my view of Jesus.

Even though His Spirit is always here with me,

within me, so close to me …

I often cannot see Him or feel His presence.

Life is ever hungry, craving every thought.

Yet I’m hungry too.

I hunger and thirst for Jesus,

for a sense of His companionship,

His presence.

I’m sometimes torn in two.

Part of me despises life and it’s struggle for my full attention,

it’s battle against my love of Jesus.

But the other part of me is so grateful for life.

I cannot fully appreciate something unless I’ve first lived without it.

Yes, for now life is a barrier between God and me.

But when that barrier is gone, and my fuzzy view of Jesus comes into bright focus,

my heart will burst with love and gratitude.

And my dammed up tears of joy will finally flow as a river.

This mortal life and all it’s struggles,

will help me appreciate life with God so much more.


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Wading Through the Rubble of my Mind

cluttered mind

Each morning, with coffee in hand, I take my precious quiet time and seek God, within me. I sit in my rustic garage corner-office/storage-room, sometimes reading the daily devotional in Jesus Calling, sometimes reading my bible, but always trying to focus my mind on Jesus and God.

Yet, every morning before I can find my way to God, I need to wade my way through the trash and rubble that clogs my mind. I need to clear a path to God, through thoughts about work, home projects, personal challenges, and often-meaningless distractions. Some mornings, my minds rubble piles up high and deep, and it can be rough going, bouncing from one distraction to the next. But if I patiently keep digging, I eventually break through the rubble and … there’s God, always waiting for me.

And I’m so grateful.


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I Can’t Trust Myself

trust myself - cant

Yesterday I wrote a post where I used a story a friend had told me. But I made a mistake in that in citing the story, I got the facts wrong. And I got them wrong in a way that hurt my close friend. I’ve been thinking and praying a lot about this since yesterday. It all reminds me that I can’t always trust myself. I can’t trust my thoughts, my ideas, my mind. Left to myself, too often I’ll get something wrong.

This morning, while praying about this and asking Jesus to help me, He gently reminded me to just trust Him. As Jesus said, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” (John 14:1) It occurred to me that He didn’t say, “Trust yourself; trust also in God and me.” Jesus is telling me to put all my trust in Him and our Father. He’s telling me to put no trust in myself. I like this – it makes me feel better.

As I can’t trust myself and my own mind, my hearts desire is to surrender my mind to the Spirit of Jesus within me, and let Him control my thoughts, my ideas, and my mind. It’s definitely not easy, especially for me. But there’s a promise along the path of this journey of surrendering my mind to Jesus. As Paul said, “… the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6)

And I’m so grateful.


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Heaven on Earth

heaven on earth

The other day I wrote about Hell within the Church (see it here). Much of life down here in this pain-filled pit of humanity can often feel like hell. But we’re not alone down here in this pit. Even while up to our knees in muck, we can find joy from within. We can find heaven down here in this pit of daily suffering.

Heaven on Earth – paradise in the middle of our mortal turmoil is available to all. And you can find heaven right inside yourself; it’s the Holy Spirit living within you. Heaven is the Holy Spirit of God and Jesus, sharing this life with you. And this relationship is available to all of us. This is THE truth that will set you free.


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Feeling Disconnected from God

reaching out to God

I have a Facebook friend whom I’ve never met, who recently posted this question to my FB page: “I haven’t been to church in 2 months and feel very disconnected from God. I’ve talked to my Pastor who says this is normal and all Christians go through this at some point or another. Any suggestions?”

Wow! As I read this, I felt a surge of nervousness rise up within me. Though I enjoy posting my personal experiences and such on my blog, I don’t feel qualified to give individual and personal advice. But my FB friend was asking for help. And I felt I should do my best to honor their request. So, this is what I said…

“I went through the same thing. So many doubts. My only suggestion is to find as much quiet time as you can to pray and try to feel the very presence of God within your self. This is what I did, and try to do every day. And when I find and truly feel the presence of the Holy Spirit within me – well, it’s the peace that goes beyond human understanding, that Jesus promised us. Yet for me, it seemed to take a long time to feel the Spirits presence; I tend to be a slow learner. But be persistent and never give up, as Jesus encouraged us to be.”

In looking back on this advice, which is not really advice from me but from Jesus, I believe it’s good everyday advice for all of us.

Do you feel disconnected from God? Follow Jesus’ advice, and seek Him with all your heart. And you will find Him there, within you.


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God Loves Homosexuals

Supreme court gay marriage

The Bible makes it clear what God thinks of homosexuality as a life style – God despises all sins, including homosexuality. Yet the Bible also makes it abundantly clear what God thinks of sinners. Though God despises sin, He loves sinners… as His children. Though God despises homosexuality as a life style, God loves homosexuals… as His children.

Look, I’m a sinner. I happen not to be homosexual, but I have plenty of other sins that I seem to daily re-visit. These sins are just part of who I am as a person. But my sinful personal nature does not affect God’s love for me. Even in the midst of my sinning, God loves me just as I am.

Are you homosexual? God loves you just as you are. The pain comes from too many of us focusing all our attention on the sin, and forgetting about the love. Let’s all hold onto God’s love, a love that heals all pain.

 

(First posted 4/1/15, but I felt like posting it again)


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Hell Within the Church

hell within the church

I just checked the dictionary definitions of hell, and they all amount to the same thing… separation from God. Hell is a void, a vacuum, emptiness, loneliness. This is life without God.

The Barna Group conducted a survey of Christians who no longer attend church, looking for possible reasons why these people left the church. The survey found that 20% of these de-churched Christians said, “God seems missing from their experience of church.” *

God seems missing… this is hell, within the church.

Unfortunately, the hell within is driving Christians out. That’s partly why I no longer attend church. Yet maybe the solution is not to leave the church, but to bring God back in. We can all find God within our selves, in our own intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit within us. Then we can bring Him with us when we go to church. When enough people do this, God will fill the sanctuary again. And the vacuum of hell will be filled with the presence of God.

 

* “Churchless; Understanding Today’s Unchurched and How to Connect with Them,” George Barna and David Kinnaman (The Barna Group), Tyndale House, 2014, page 99, www.barna.org (used by permission)


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The Wall

prison wall 2

All the surveys find the same thing: Christians are leaving church. Some surveys report that millions of Christians stop attending church each year. These people aren’t leaving Christianity; they’re just leaving whatever church they used to attend.

Yet something is driving people away. The surveys speak to that as well, giving several reasons why people leave the church. But it all simmers down to this: people are leaving because of a lack of truth within the church. The messages in some churches have drifted away from the truth of Jesus Christ. And what is preached is either a false Christianity, or no Christianity at all.

These false messages are like large stones in a prison wall, mortared together by pride, holding captive unwary believers. Yet as the surveys show, many climb over the wall and escape. But wounds remain.

Most church refugees I know, including me, carry wounds from their experience behind the prison wall of false Christianity. Healing comes from true Christianity, an intimate relationship with the One who heals all… Jesus Christ. A relationship given to us, and living with us, by His Spirit within us.

Did you crash into the wall and come away wounded? A while back I started a Facebook group with the hope that it would help provide healing for other wounded Christians … For Wounded Christians – A Place for Healing. Yet I now realize that no Facebook group can provide the healing we need. Only a personal relationship with the Holy Spirit can do that.


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Welcomed Home… Every Time

prodigal son

Here I sit in my man-cave office – actually, mixture of storage room, cluttered desk, and dust. But it’s my quiet space, isolated from distractions, where I have some of my best one-on-one time with God. This morning is like every morning… coffee in hand and God on my mind, and in my heart. Today I look back over my shoulder at yesterday.

Reflection… looking back I see that yesterday was like most days. More than once, I turned my back on God and abandoned Him. It may seem like nothing, just a typical reaction to life. Like getting consumed by a project at work and venting a bit of frustration at a co-worker. But in that moment, I can’t see God, for my back is to Him.

Yet every time I turn around, there He is. And like the father of the prodigal son, God does more than patiently wait for me to come back to Him. As soon as He sees me turn around, He runs to me, wraps His arms around me, and welcomes me home. Every time. Such is His love for all of us. And I’m so grateful.


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His Hands With Mine

ghost writer

Haven’t been blogging lately. Been too busy working on the book I’m writing with God. I know that might sound weird to you, but that’s the way it feels to me. And for me, there’s no other way to write, as I’m not by nature a writer. So I pray as I write, often spending more time with my eyes closed than with my fingers on the keyboard. Okay, so progress seems slow – just a good test for my natural impatience.

Anyway, I just felt like checking in with my blog today. And I want express my gratitude to God for having His hands on the keyboard along with mine.


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Stirring Our Soul

choc chip cookies

Bacon sizzling in the frying pan;

chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven;

fresh cut grass;

summer rain on hot pavement.

These things stir our memories, senses, and emotions.

 

God’s words of love, forgiveness, and hope;

An image of Jesus suffering on the cross, for us;

A sense of His Spirit’s presence within our heart;

A wave of love crashing over us, flooding us with emotion.

These things stir our soul, and breathe fire into our life.

And I’m so grateful.


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The Approaching Stress Cloud

storm cloud

5:30am – an hour to go before the call. No big deal. Just an early morning work conference call, where I’ll be giving a presentation. But for my co-workers and me, this is a big presentation. I want it to go well. And so my tendency would be to get stressed out. But I don’t want stress. Stress would hog the next hour and keep me from doing what I want to be doing – writing.

So I pray to the Holy Spirit of Jesus within me, and this is what came into my mind: “The presentation doesn’t matter. It’s purely worldly and has no value. What matters is relationships, and love.”

As the reality of this truth settled into my mind, the approaching stress-cloud melted away. And I’m so grateful.


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Another Day in the Parking Lot

parking lot

Another lunch hour when I’m able to free myself from the hungry grip of work and grap some time alone. But not really alone. I drove to the nearby office park with the half-empty parking lot. My usual tree-shaded parking space is open. It takes a few minutes to quiet my mind and flush out all the work noise. But soon, here comes the Holy Spirit into my thoughts, here to share my lunch with me, and my writing time. I enjoy taking these writing breaks in the middle of my workday, when I can.

Oh, here come those two women who like to walk the loop around this large parking lot. The dark-haired one is doing the talking, as usual. And she’s whining again about something. She’s always whining, at least every time I see her. I feel sorry for her. She seems to have so much to complain about.

Dear Jesus, please help the dark-haired woman find peace. Please help her find freedom from complaining. I suspect you won’t remove her problems, the things she likes to complain about. But she could find true joy in the freedom that comes from letting go of her problems.

Lord, you’ve opened my eyes to this freedom and joy. Oh, I still complain, but not as much as I used to, before I let you into my heart. Thank you for coming in and healing my self-inflicted wounds. I’m so grateful.


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Working for God

My hearts desire is to write, but I’m stuck in my engineering job, shoveling stress and trying to cope with corporate “junk.” Sometimes I fail and let the stress consume me – I just can’t shovel as fast as they pile it on.

Many times I’ve asked God, “Why am I here? I look for meaning in my job, but can’t find anything that matters. I feel like I’m wasting so much time of my brief life. Why am I at this meaningless job when my hearts desire is to surrender to You and devote all my time doing whatever you want me to do? Well, I guess you want me in this job.”

Today I was thinking, what can I do for God while in my “meaningless” job. Well, I could try to find joy in every moment, knowing and trusting that in that moment, I’m where God wants me to be. I could strive to be like Brother Lawrence, who found joy and peace in everything he did, because he was always in the presence of God.

Then it hit me: maybe the reason I’m in my meaningless job is because my feelings about the job make me crave more closeness with God and Jesus. If I didn’t have a stress-pit of a job, I would not be so hungry for the presence of Jesus in my life. The more stressful the job, the more I look for Jesus to help me. I think I’m now sincerely grateful for my job, and for more than just the financial security, which I’m always grateful for.

I know I’m weak and this joyful feeling may be fleeting, but I sure am grateful for my time with the Spirit of God and Jesus, no matter what I’m doing.