CJ Penn's Online Writing Hangout

The reason I write: To promote Christian truth and help Jesus get His Christianity back.


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Spiritual Attention Deficit Disorder

Runny nose

I want to post something today, but my mind is foggy with this cold and runny nose, and I can’t think of anything to say. Well, maybe if my mind isn’t able to come up with anything meaningful or helpful, I’ll offer this time solely to the Holy Spirit within me. What does He want to say to you, through me?

I give up. In addition to fogginess, I think I’m currently suffering from Spiritual Attention Deficit Disorder (SADD). I can’t focus. Do you ever suffer from SADD? Wow, I am slow this morning; I just saw how “sad” that condition is.

Well, I don’t think suffering from SADD is anything to be ashamed of. Jesus knows how hard it is to be human in this world full of distractions. All He desires is for us to turn back to Him when our mind is finished wandering the worldly wilderness. And like the father in the story of the prodigal son, Jesus is always there, waiting for our attention to return to Him. And I’m so grateful.


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What Should I Believe?

confusion

A dear friend once said to me, “I see so many different Christian churches, which I’m okay with, but they all have different messages. What should I believe?”

What we see as Christianity today looks like a bicycle wheel. Jesus is the hub, the center. Each church is like a spoke, and by the time Jesus’ original message gets to the outside end of the spoke, it’s filled with manmade modifications. Traveling around the outside of this wheel called Christianity can be a bumpy ride, as my friend discovered.

I don’t want to criticize churches who customize Jesus’ message. I think it’s natural, given our pride-filled human nature. Pride drives people to put their personal mark on things. My purpose with this post is to point to the truth, which you will find only at the center of the wheel, at Jesus.

And Jesus is easy to find. You will find His truth in the bible, in your prayers, and in your heart – for that is where the Holy Spirit of God lives.


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Self-Inflicted Wounds

wounds healed

Wounded Christians – some churches have wounded many followers with false messages. These messages are like spears, piercing our hearts and minds, often leaving grave wounds. Yet not all wounds come from a church.

I’ve met many pastors who have a very intimate and personal relationship with Jesus. Yet other pastors have fallen into the pit of intellectual self-importance. Their theological knowledge is more important to them than their relationship with the Spirit of Jesus. This disconnection leaves them wounded and weak, and often subject to despair.

Yet not just pastors. Any of us can fall victim to our own ego, our own desire for self-importance. Self-inflected wounds come from accepting false messages into our hearts. Yet we all have a shield for deflecting the spears of false messages, the shield of truth, given to us by Jesus Christ.

If you too have wounds and would like to meet with other wounded Christians, please consider joining the Facebook group For Wounded Christians – A Place for Healing.”


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Truly Tasting

wine tasting

My wife and I enjoy going wine tasting. The person pouring the wine usually gives a detailed report of the aroma and flavor. You may hear such descriptions as… The nose is jammy, concentrated and sweet, with ripe berry and Graham cracker aromas. A bold, saturated palate houses flavors of blackberry, molasses and fudge, while the ripe, smooth finish tastes of brown sugar and chocolate.

It all seems silly to me. My taste buds aren’t discerning enough to identify all that stuff. Either I like the wine, or I don’t. Yet what if, while wine tasting, I stopped at the description, never raising the glass to my lips? I could walk away saying, “That sounded like a very nice wine,” and never truly know the wine.

What if all you know about God is His description you hear in sermons and read in the bible? To truly know and experience God is to let His Spirit into your life, to drink Him in and taste His presence. Open up your self and let the Holy Spirit share the personal place with your soul. Words are not enough.

“Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, ‘Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink.’(John 7:37)


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Call me an Extremist

Is it extremism to seek a life dominated by the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ? If yes, then call me an extremist.

I’ve been reading the book, “The Power of the Spirit,” by William Law. He laments about the lack of desire for the Holy Spirit, and refers to those who seek the Spirit as extremists. Jesus offers all of us the gift of His Spirit, to live within us and help us through this trouble-filled life. Yet so few seem to accept Jesus’ gift.


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Christmas Day – Happy Birthday

happy birthday

Christmas day – I believe there’s more to celebrate than the 2000-plus year anniversary of Jesus’ birth. For Jesus is born again, every time someone opens their heart with faith, and lets the Holy Spirit of Jesus in their life. If you look to God and ask Him to live with you, within your body and with your soul, Jesus is re-born as human, as you.

And when you open the door of your heart to let the Spirit of Jesus into your life, you are re-born as a new person. No longer just you, but you and Jesus, in one.

Christmas day – there’s a lot to celebrate. Happy Birthday all.


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The Epidemic

epidemic

Pride, self-centeredness, arrogance, selfishness;

different names for the same thing.

These are the root of all evil.

All a part of our human nature.

Or is this human nature?

Pride is more a disease infecting all humanity,

some suffering this disease more than others.

Human history is the story of the epidemic of pride.

Look upon your pride-filled enemy

as a victim of the epidemic,

and they will be your enemy no more.

When we see pride as an illness,

we give ourselves permission to feel compassion,

instead of anger.

And we can love our ailing enemies.

 

Jesus came to heal the sick.

He can free our souls of the cancer of pride,

and fill us with the love of His Spirit.

And I’m so grateful.


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The Wall Comes Crashing Down

wall

I put up barriers. Stress, anxiety, fretting about tomorrow, fretting about days after tomorrow, fretting about my fretting. These are my barriers, self-made walls of worry and self-centered distraction, rising up between me and the Holy Spirit within. Yet my barriers do more that separate me from God; they also barricade me from people I love. All my relationships suffer from my barriers.

I got up early this morning (early for a Sunday anyway). It was still dark outside. I went to bed early last night, after falling asleep in front of the TV… around 8 o’clock. No longer the Saturday night partier I once was.

All quiet in the pre-dawn house, with hot coffee warming my hands – I sat on my napping-couch, closed my eyes, and poured out my frets to God, within me. I felt the wall, tall and seemingly strong. Yet not strong enough.

With every thought that touched upon the Holy Spirit within, another block fell from the wall. And soon it was gone. The Holy Spirit and I are now fully face-to-face, within this soul of mine.

I’ll build the wall again. Happens every day. And I’m so grateful that God is always happy to help me tear it down.


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Grateful for the Flaws

flawed

By reading my complaints about my flawed humanity in many of my blog posts, you might think I’m a miserable person. Well, I’m not.

It seems that most of the time, my life is dominated by my relationship with God, Jesus, and their Spirit who shares my life with me. By the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life, I have found true meaning, peace, excitement, and love. Life has never been better.

Yet I’m grateful for the flaws of my human nature: my pride and selfishness, my anxiety and worry, my anger, my natural temptations. For whenever my flaws capture my present, they remind me of how much I need God. Yes, my flaws may make me miserable while in the midst of them. But God has taught me to use my flaws, to steer my mind back to Him. And I’m grateful.


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Lifting me out of this pit

Out-of-the-Slimy-Pit

This writing gig gets me all confused and stressed out. To self-publish my book, or chase after a traditional publisher? To try to lure an agent, or not? Should I even bother trying to publish? How to attract followers to this blog? How to increase page hits? Should I even bother trying to attract followers, or instead focus on a simpler motive for writing blog posts?

Today is a typical morning for me; my mind is a jumble of random thoughts and questions, all in search of a purpose and direction. And in the middle of this mess is my selfish beast, wanting it all MY way.

Some mornings I get bogged down in the muck of my own self-centeredness. But today I was lifted out of this muddy pit and set down on the higher ground of solid humility. Of course, the Holy Spirit within me did the lifting.

Now, the stress and confusion are gone. My only desire is to be hands and feet for God.

Dear Lord, dear Spirit who shares this body of mine, I am yours. These hands are yours, resting on this keyboard. This mind is yours. My heart and soul are yours. Why? Because of love. I love you so much dear Spirit of Jesus. You’ve given me life. You’ve given me purpose. You’ve given me love beyond understanding. Please help me to not waste your gift of love. You came for me… I’m here for you.

Amen


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My Prison of Pride

prisoner of fallacy

Pride is my self-imposed prison. Pride ties me up with strict rules and expectations. Pride wraps me in a straightjacket of stress when things don’t go MY way. Pride pushes my heart, soul, and mind to me, rather than God.

Pride is misery.

Yet Jesus has set me free from my prison. He has opened the door and shown me the path to humility… and love… and others… and our Father. There are still traces of pride clinging to me, but it’s not the prison it once was.

And the Holy Spirit within holds onto me, stopping me from returning to my familiar prison cell. And I’m so grateful.


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Better than Books

books

Recently, several people have asked me for recommendations of good books that may help strengthen their relationship with Jesus. Here are some of my favorite books, which have really helped me:

“The Practice of the Presence of God,” by Brother Lawrence

“Humility,” by Andrew Murray

“Absolute Surrender,” by Andrew Murray

(almost anything by Andrew Murray)

“The Knowledge of the Holy,” by AW Tozer

But what’s helped me more than reading is devoting as much time as I can to praying. While praying, I try to visualize the Holy Spirit within me. It’s taken me a long time to truly believe in the presence of the Spirit of God within me. But now I believe, and that’s more powerful than any book I’ve read. For with the Spirit, I FEEL God’s love, which is far more powerful than just knowing about God’s love.


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Wounded, but Healing

wounds healed

The Facebook group For Wounded Christians – a Place for Healing, has me thinking about my wounds lately. What do my scars look like?

Up to my mid-thirties, I believed what most churches had been telling me, that I had to earn my way into heaven with good behavior. For some reason, this turned me off from Christianity. I don’t know why.

Then, someone gave me a book by Billy Graham. I don’t remember who gave me the book. I don’t remember the title of the book. I think I long ago lost the book. But for the first time in my life I read something in that book that shocked me. Billy Graham told me WHY Jesus died on the cross. Billy told me that Jesus paid the price for all my bad behavior. Billy told me that I didn’t have to earn my way into heaven – all I had to do was believe in the truth of what Jesus did for me, and accept the gift of salvation that Jesus offers me.

This truly shocked me. It was in direct conflict with all I had heard up to that point in my life. Salvation isn’t a reward for good behavior, but rather a gift, generously offered to all who have the faith to simply accept it.

I still remember that feeling of shock. It was then that my wounds started to heal.


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A New Look

cropped-wound-group-cover-photo2.jpg

If you’re wondering, this is the right place. Actually, the “right” place is a matter of opinion, which I leave to you. But this is likely the place you were expecting to land with your last mouse click. I just decided to change the look of the blog site.

It’s been over six years since I started this blog, and I felt it was time for a wardrobe change. And in a way, it’s symbolic of some changes in me…

When I first starting writing in this blog, those six years ago, I believe I still held onto anger towards churches that abuse the truth of Jesus Christ, and I let that anger spill onto the keyboard. Well, maybe wisdom comes with age, for I no longer want to fill my posts with acquisitions, even if based on absolute truth.

All I want to do now is write about the truth of Jesus Christ, and that means letting His love spill onto the keyboard while I write. For me, it’s a new look, and I like it.


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Healing my Wounds

wounded heart

This morning while praying, it became clear and obvious to me that I too am a wounded Christian. Why else would I sometimes be angry at certain churches and their behavior? My anger has it roots somewhere, and it must be in past wounds.

This morning I was wondering how the Holy Spirit within me feels about all this. Also, how can I let go of my anger?

I suspect God may also get angry at certain church behavior. But God’s anger does not affect His love. Like any good parent, no matter how bad the behavior, God still loves His children. That sense of God’s love for churches that cause me anger actually helps me begin to let go of the anger and take hold of the love. With the Spirit of God within me, He can love through me. I now know that I can feel sincere love for those who had hurt and angered me. For me, it may just take a little more time, to let go of my anger, and take hold of God’s love.

Are you a wounded Christian, carrying scars inflicted by churches or other Christians? Please consider joining the Facebook Group, For Wounded Christians – A Place for Healing, where you can share your feelings, your stories, your healing.

May God bless us all with His overflowing love, which washes away all bad feelings.


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Studying my way to God?

books

I have read the bible many times, especially the New Testament. I’ve read great books by Andrew Murray, William Law, and A.W. Tozer. I’ve read sermons and devotionals by Charles Spurgeon. And then there’s “The Practice of the Presence of God,” by Brother Lawrence – my most well-worn non-bible book. All of my studying has helped me develop a close relationship with God, or so it appears.

Is diligent study really the secret to an intimate relationship with God and Jesus? I don’t think so, because based on what Jesus said and how He lived, it doesn’t make sense.

What came into my mind as I puzzled over this was what Paul frequently mentioned about faith, hope, and love. As he said, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13)

A relationship with God obviously starts with faith. But it’s love that makes that relationship grow. Though study may help, in my case anyway, without love the study is meaningless.

Reading about food will not ease your hunger. Are you hungry for closeness with God? Then love Him. Let His Spirit into your life. Taste His presence in your soul. And you will be filled, to overflowing.


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To be a Child

child in lap

“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.” (Romans 8:14)

There are days, most days,

when I just want to curl up in my Father’s lap,

hiding my face from this chaotic world,

safe behind the hugs of His loving arms.

Peace, quiet, soft love.

He’s waiting for me today,

waiting for me to come to Him in my prayers

and climb up into His lap.

Always waiting, arms outstretched to lift me to Him.

Lord, here I am.

So nice to be home again.

 

I hope you have a great day, in the arms of your Father.


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Twice Saved

Holy Spirit

By His death on the cross, Jesus saved me from the penalties of my sinful life. By His Spirit living within me, Jesus daily saves me from myself.

The Holy Spirit living within you… it’s not just words in the bible. It’s not just Christian doctrine. It’s truth and it’s life. There is no truth more powerful than that of sharing your mortal life with the immortal Spirit of Jesus Christ, within you.

He’s knocking on the door of your heart. Open up and let Him in. Look inside yourself… He’s there. Feel His love, inside you. The Holy Spirit loves you, from the inside, out. Let His love loose, spilling over your walls and splashing onto nearby souls hungry for love.


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An Appeal and a Prayer

surrender

One of my strongest desires is for unity within the churches of Jesus Christ. And in the name of unity, today I offer up an appeal to all Christians, and a prayer.

An Appeal

I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. (1)

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (2)

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love. (3)

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. (4)

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (5)

A Prayer

Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name – so that they may be one as we are one. (6)

May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. (7)

I pray … that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. (8)

(9)

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (10)

1: (1 Corinthians 1:10)
2: (Ephesians 4:2-3)
3: (1 Corinthians 16:13-14)
4: (Romans 15:5-7)
5: (Colossians 3:12-17)
6: (John 17:11b)
7: (John 17:23)
8: (John 17:20-21)
9: (John 17:17)
10: (Ephesians 3:14-21)
 
[This was first posted July 17, 2008]


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A Faith Stronger than Mine

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

(warning: what follows is the attempt of a non-poet to be poetic… proceed with caution)

Pushed up through the virgin crust by tectonic forces. Millennia go by. Seeds appear from nothing. Or was it the tree that came first? Chicken or egg? Oh well. Life spread. Trees covering the lower slopes. Snow came and went. The river carved it’s way along the valley floor. Then fish. Then animals crawled out of the river and lakes and made home with the dry ground. And then early man arrived… from nothing?

And finally modern man is here. My vacation. Hiking. Marveling at the mountains. Rafting down the aged river. Enjoying visits by the moose and elk. And all this happened by chance? All this happened without any special guidance or planning or boost from above? All this happened without a God? I just can’t believe that. I don’t have faith that strong.