CJ Penn's Online Writing Hangout

The reason I write: To promote Christian truth and help Jesus get His Christianity back.

Tag Archives: Thoughts


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Heaven is for Real?

I watched the movie, “Heaven is for Real” last night. I had read the book, but that was a few years ago. What hit me in the face from the movie was the struggle the pastor dad went through… his struggle when faced with compelling evidence for the existence of heaven. Such evidence can really have you questioning your faith, for you would then need to decide whether to accept or reject the evidence – which is to accept or reject everything you believe about God.

After the movie, I started questioning my own beliefs. If faced with similar evidence, how would I react? Is my faith strong enough to excitedly accept such evidence? I think so, but I don’t feel safe in assuming so. I guess I’m just not certain. It’s weird. I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life, even as I write these words. But that’s based on faith, which is believing in things despite the lack of evidence. What happens to our faith when faced with undisputable evidence? The thought is scary to me.

Yet I see evidence of God all the time, as long as I have my eyes and mind open. I’m confused. Sorry for the weird post – it just felt right to put it up on the site. I hope you all have a great day.

CJ


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Why Surrender?

surrender

Life has worn me down. Life has stressed me out. Worry assaults me. So I surrender.

I am tired. Life is too hard. I can’t handle it on my own. So I surrender.

My mind holds me captive to judgment, worry, fear, anger, impatience, selfishness. So I surrender.

He gave His life for mine. He surrendered His life for me. So I surrender to Him.

Why surrender? Because I love Him. I wish my love came for free. But He paid a high price, the highest. It took that price to buy my love. Yes, I feel ashamed. But His love is overpowering my shame. The dark shadow of my shame vanishes under the brilliant light of His love. All that is left is love. And with all my love, I surrender to you dear Jesus.

With all my heart,

CJ Penn


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The Judge within Me

do not judge

“Do not judge.” This order is scattered throughout the bible. Yet Christians have a reputation for being judgmental. Look, it’s who we are as humans, like part of our DNA. I’m not sometimes judgmental because I’m Christian, but because I’m human. And because of my ever-growing love for God and Jesus, I usually come down hard on myself when I discover I’m judging others. Sometimes I make myself miserable with guilt.

But wait, where does guilt come from? It comes from a judgment. I judge myself guilty… in this case, guilty of being judgmental.

In a recent blog-conversation I had with someone about Scary Christians, this thought occurred to me: as we shouldn’t judge others, we should not judge ourselves.

Instead of focusing on ourselves, the cure for being judgmental is to focus more on the Holy Spirit within. Do not judge… yourself. Leave guilt behind and look instead to the Holy Spirit of God and Jesus within you. And He will set you free.


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My Ghost Writer

ghost writer

He did it again… my ghost writer. I’m working on revision 9 of a book I’m collaborating on with my ghost writer friend. Yesterday I finished marking up chapter 20 with more fine-tuning changes (part of what sometimes feels like my never-ending editing process). This morning I got up at 4:00am, as usual, to get in some writing before heading to work. I had intended to start editing chapter 21. But as I got out of bed, the thought became clear that I needed to go back and take another look at chapter 20. My ghost writer was talking to me again.

Got my coffee and settled myself in my makeshift “office” (a walled-off corner in the garage), and while letting the coffee cup warm my hands, I prayed, as usual. This thought came clearly into my mind: there was a glaring problem buried within chapter 20 that I needed to uncover and fix. My ghost writer, the Holy Spirit of God within me, was making my task for this morning clear.

And sure enough, as I read my way through chapter 20, I turned a page and there was the problem – a couple of unclear and awkward paragraphs. And the whole section looked a lot better with those paragraphs crossed out.

This is the way it goes, writing with the Holy Ghost. Is God really speaking to me, giving me direction on how to write this book? Well, the answer depends on what you believe. For me, I certainly believe so. And I’m so grateful. Thank you God.


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The Shark within Me

shark

Ever circling. Lidless eyes, ever searching. Jagged teeth, ever ready to devour innocence. Ever within me, part of me, torturing me. Ever my ego, my pride, my self, my shark.

My ego is the shark within me, always searching for something to capture and make its own. For example, since I started posting again on this blog after taking a long break, my ego has become intoxicated over things like number of page views and number of followers. I keep telling my “self” that none of that matters, but I often lose the argument.

Whenever I win the argument, it’s because I walk away from the argument. I win when I ignore my yammering ego and instead focus on the Holy Spirit within me. The shark has no chance against the Spirit. Dear Jesus, thank you.


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Scary Christians

scary Christians

I’ve commented on a couple of blogs recently, where the topic was Christians who scare others away from Christianity by their behavior – judgmental, hypocritical, arrogant, etc. I agree that the biggest hindrance to Christianity is Christians. And I relate to something Ghandi once said: “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike Christ.” Yet the truth is, none of us is like Christ. Some get close, but none lives the completely humble and love-filled life Jesus lived.

I can be quick to criticize ugly Christians. But that just brings me closer to their level. And the truth is, we are all broken humans, with a human nature that is so unlike Christ. For our nature is filled with pride and selfishness, some more full of themselves than others. But it’s who we are as humans. For me to criticize ugly Christians is hypocrisy.

Might an ugly Christian be a sign that the person doesn’t know Jesus very well? Could be. But who am I to judge?

By the way, most Christians I know are not very scary. Except maybe for my friend who is a Third Day* groupie, chasing their concerts all over the country. Happy Birthday dawg.

*Third Day = Christian rock band

(btw, my Third Day groupie friend isn’t scary in the context mentioned in this post. His friends just like to tease him because of his obsession.)


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Not Alone in the Trials

Not alone in the trials

My last trial found me very afraid, at first. The threat of prostrate cancer hit me in the face. Yet very quickly I found myself leaving the fear, and embracing excitement. For I knew I wasn’t alone. The Holy Spirit of God is within me, and He was sharing the experience with me. And the prospect of cancer began to look like an adventure. I found myself giggling because my reaction was the opposite of what I had first expected. Then tears of joy, for I was experiencing the promise of the peace that goes beyond my capability to understand. The verse that filled my thoughts was, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

None of us need be alone in the trials.

(btw, turned out not to be cancer)


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Growing your love for God

We love because God loves

I recently met someone who said they are concerned about their love for God. They feel theirs is a conditional love, one that changes as circumstances change. They’re not happy about it; they wish their love for God were stronger. This got me thinking, how do we nurture our love for God and help it grow beyond the conditional phase, to a true, unconditional love?

When I met my wife, I was immediately attracted to her. The more we came to know each other, the more I loved her. But my love for her was conditional, initially. I have to admit that it took time for my love to grow into a true, unconditional love. Yet, what fed our love and helped it grow bigger and stronger? For me it was two simple things: our ever-growing closeness and relationship, and the knowledge of the love she felt for me.

What will feed your love for God? Your ever-growing closeness and relationship with Him, and an understanding of the magnitude of Gods love for you. God loves you without conditions. Nothing you do can diminish His love for you. The more you come to feel the reality of Gods love for you, the more you will love Him. You will love, because He first loves you.


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Is Relevance Relevant?

relevance

Many Christians believe that making the gospel relevant for our times will attract people to the church. Trying to “meet people where they live” is just what Jesus did, so this should be a good approach. Yet, judging by the dwindling numbers of those attending church, there must be something wrong with the drive for relevance.

The flaw of the relevance approach is when they change the message to meet the needs of the day. This takes the focus off the truth of Jesus. His message is eternal, in that it always meets the needs of the day, no matter what day it is. We always need love, always need faith, and always need hope. This is what Jesus has to offer, and it’s always relevant.

What people need is not a customized message for the day, which will loose power as conditions change. It’s not relevance that’s needed, but truth.


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Opening Your Mind

open mind

After Jesus was crucified and came back to life, his disciples had a hard time believing what they were seeing. They thought he was a ghost, still dead. They saw with their eyes, yet still did not understand. Don’t be surprised if you have difficulty understanding what you read in the bible, for even eyewitnesses had trouble.

Yet, as Jesus did for His disciples, He can do for us…“Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures.” (Luke 24:45) Understanding does not come from our own intellect, cleverness, or imaginations. Understanding comes from only one source, the Holy Spirit. “We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us.” (1 Corinthians 2:12)

If you are willing, the Holy Spirit can open your mind and show you the truth. As Jesus said, “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth.” (John 16:12-13)


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Son of Man

son of man

Jesus frequently called himself the “Son of man.” I was reminded of this while listening to a Third Day song on the way to work yesterday. And I began to wonder why He chose that title above others.

Why did Jesus seem to feel it was important to stress His humanity? Yes, Jesus is fully God, but He was also fully human. And it seems like He almost took pride in His humanity. Being one of us was important to Jesus. But why? I’ve been thinking about this since yesterday, all the time with the sense that the answer to my question was right at the edge of my mind, just barely out of reach of my consciousness.

Well, this morning I’ve been able to quiet my mind and pray, asking Jesus to give me the answer. Though I think the complete answer is still not clear to me, I do believe I see Jesus’ main reason for stressing His humanity. It’s love. Jesus loves us humans so much that He also loved being one of us.

That’s another thing that definitely sets Jesus apart from me – though He seemed to cherish His humanity, I am often pained by my humanity.

But what do you think about Jesus calling Himself “Son of man?”


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Roots of Deception

Roots of deception

Why do some Christians distort the truth of Jesus? There are two reasons. First is ego – to gain honor for themselves. As Jesus said, “He who speaks on his own does so to gain honor for himself, but he who works for the honor of the one who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him.” (John 7:18)

Ever since Jesus preached His gospel while walking the roads of ancient Israel, people have felt the need to put their own mark on the truths He had proclaimed. Perhaps they felt their own personal revisions would improve His message. Or, maybe they were unable to accept His message as-is, and they decided to reshape it into something they could agree with.

“Everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 2:21) Everyone suffers from the temptation of believing that they know more or know better than God does. This disease of pride moves some people to re-make God and His message into their image.

The second reason the truth gets distorted is that well-meaning everyday Christians portray false ideas about the truth of Christianity just by how we live. We are imperfect human beings, tasked with conveying the perfect message of Jesus Christ. Our imperfections are bound to smudge the message now and then. Our human hands too easily mar the heavenly masterpiece of Jesus.


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Editing from a Distance

editing from a distance

Simon says take 5 giant steps away from the work. Pull my head out of the details and look at it as if it’s not my own. This is how I’ve started approaching the editing of the past couple revisions of the book I’m writing. I read it as if it’s not my book. I read it as if I’m one of my few close friends who I have asked to review the current draft.

So, when I see something that seems unclear or awkward or just not right, I don’t have the burden of having to find a fix. All I do is flag it as needing work. I attach sticky-notes that generally state what’s wrong with the sentence, paragraph, or entire section. Then I move on. It makes this first part of the editing process easy – just point out problem areas.

But of course, as the writer of the book I still have to eventually go back and fix all the problems I had flagged. But I’ve noticed that I catch a lot more weaknesses with this two-step editing process.

And maybe by first pretending I’m not the writer, rather just a reviewer, I’m dodging my ego; my ego that usually has problems recognizing my own errors. It sure can be hard to do good writing when my self-centered human nature gets in the way.

Cheerio


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The Ugliness Scared Me Away

ugliness

They made me feel like they were constantly judging my behavior and actions, always looking for some weakness to shine their spotlight on. They projected an air of superiority. They rarely hung out with anyone who was not a member of their exclusive organization. Yet they always seemed to be pressuring me to leave my life behind and join their perfect club.

But they themselves weren’t perfect. In many ways, they weren’t much different than me. This hypocrisy and the judgment and the arrogance – these are the things that turned me away. Join their club? Forget it!

For much of my life, this was my response to Christians. But eventually I started learning the truth about Christianity, and how Jesus led by His example. Jesus hung out with sinners, like me. Jesus didn’t come to judge us. Jesus loved unconditionally. And He didn’t form some exclusive club. The more I learned about the truth of Jesus, the more I realized that the ugliness I had seen in some Christians came from human nature, not Jesus. My challenge is to keep my own ugly human nature from gaining the spotlight.


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Truth and Peace

truth and peace

 

“This is what the Lord Almighty says: … love truth and peace.” (Zechariah 8:19)

Truth and peace – I have to admit that I sometimes find it hard to include peace with my blog posts about truth. I indeed love the truth. When I write about truth in a way that confronts some false message within Christianity, I tend to get passionate. Yet I am sometimes a bit harsh in my response to deception. I have a hard time including peace while I lash out at some religious doctrine that is contrary to the truth of Gods word. The truth is so important to me – I lose sight of the need for compassion. My prideful human nature often closes my eyes to the peaceful approach.

The peace I wish to bring doesn’t come from me – it comes from the Holy Spirit within me. So if you read a blog post of mine that includes just the right mix of truth and peace, then you will know that I stepped out of the way and let the Holy Spirit of God speak through me. And if the peace is missing from my message, I sincerely apologize to you, and God.


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Learning the hard way

learning hard way

The most effective lessons are the ones you figure out yourself.

Almost daily, I earnestly ask God to show me how to do something, like solving a writing problem in the book I’m working on. Though I feel His presence with me, and at times, He does seem to give me the answer, He doesn’t solve all my writing challenges.

It just occurred to me that maybe God has a good reason for not showing me the solution to all my problems. Like any good parent or teacher, maybe God is telling me that for some problems, I need to figure out the solution myself.

What do you think?


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Prisoner of Fallacy

prisoner of fallacy

I was twelve years old when my mom married my second stepfather. I still remember his mother telling him he was going to hell because he divorced his first wife. That was over 40 years ago and my stepfather, now in his 80’s, still carries around the guilt piled onto him by his devout Catholic mother. He is a prisoner of that guilt. He is a prisoner by holding onto falseness that he believes just might be true. Whether you call yourself Christian or not, you may be a prisoner of lies – for lies are like shackles on our hearts and minds, hindering us from truly experiencing life.

We are all prisoners of the lies we believe to be truth. The most dreadful prison is the one where you don’t realize you are a prisoner. Did you ever see the movie The Matrix? People were prisoners without knowing it. So it can be with us. We can only be free, free to make choices based on truth, when we know the truth.

As Paul warned, “See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.” (Colossians 2:8)


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Writing with hammer and chisel

hammer and chisel

Though best known for his painting on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michelangelo’s passion was sculpting marble. And he considered that the figure he was sculpting was always present within the marble block. All he had to do was remove the surplus marble to reveal the figure within.

This is the way I’ve been approaching my writing lately. I keep chipping away at the block of words, removing the surplus junk to reveal something that will hopefully be worth looking at.

One of my favorite books on writing nonfiction is On Writing Well, by William Zinsser. Three of his key elements of good, nonfiction writing are clarity, simplicity, and brevity. This goes along with one of my favorite bible verses: “The more the words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone?” (Ecclesiastes 6:11)

The first draft of the book I’m writing had grown to a flabby 205,246 words. Seven revisions later and it’s now down to 63,300 words, and still on a diet. I keep chipping away at the surplus stuff, making it simpler, clearer and way briefer. And I love the editing process. It’s fun to remove the junk that adds nothing, and discover the shorter message that is much more powerful. Though writing can be hard, editing is fun.


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Ferguson, Mo. – in need of compassion

Ferguson Mo

Yesterday coffee with the usual Wednesday morning guys. Rick brought up the stuff happening in Ferguson, Mo.: The agitators from outside the community, and even outside the state, stirring up trouble. The celebrities, like Al Sharpton, also feeding the anger. And the store owners, staying up all night guarding their shops, trying to protect their livelihood from looters. Then Rick asked a question that was hard to consider, especially since I had barely started drinking my coffee: “As Christians, what should be our response to all this?”

It would be so easy to get sucked into the anger, and lash out at one side or the other. But I really don’t think that’s what Jesus wants me to do. Look, everyone involved is just a normal, broken human being. We are all messed up, full of sin and selfishness. Things like compassion don’t seem to come naturally. It’s the ugly responses, the judgment and harsh words, that seem to naturally ooze out of us. What should be my Christian response? I choose compassion and love. For how could I judge those who are no different from me – a typical screwed up person?


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Under attack from within

Truth

Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Oh, I don’t reject Christ. I love Christ. It’s just that so many of you Christians are so unlike Christ.” It’s often Christians who push people away from Christianity. That’s why I stayed away for much of my life – what I saw didn’t appeal to me. I initially rejected Jesus because of Christians who were not a good reflection of His truth.

National surveys show Christianity declining in the United States. The published reasons are varied, but they all point to this: Christianity is crumbling because of a lack of truth. Truth is healthy and strong; untruth is sick and weak.