So I’m writing a book – Christian nonfiction – with a theme that matches most of my blog posts. I challenge false ideas about Christianity with the truth. I’ve be at this, part-time, for 6 years now. For the past 3 years I’ve been getting up at 4:00 am just so I can get in a couple of hours of writing before heading off to work. In addition to wondering if I will ever finish this book, I’m curious about something… Is 6 years (and counting) a bit extreme for a first-time book written on a part-time basis?
Tag Archives: Personal
Healing the Pain of Sexual Abuse
My first stepfather sexually abused me when I was 7 years old. A typical situation, I suppose – he threatened harm if I told anyone. Fortunately, there were other problems with the marriage, and my mom divorced him after only a year together. But we all had scars from that experience.
My scars fed my strong desire for revenge. As I grew older and came to understand what he had done to me, I grew angrier. In my late teens, I fantasized about running into him someday. I planned each move, the first being a fully energized kick square in the source of my suffering, sending him to his knees. There were times when I even dreamed of killing him. The hate was strong and painful.
About 20 years later, I met Jesus Christ and He started teaching me about love and forgiveness. It’s taken me a long time to learn the lesson, but I finally let go of the hate. I wholeheartedly forgive my stepfather. I feel sorry for him, for he was a very troubled person. And I’m now free of my own troubles – free from the pain of hate and memories, freed by forgiveness. Thanks to the love and forgiveness of Jesus.
Are you a wounded Catholic?
Sometimes I rant about the dealings of the Catholic Church. I truly apologize if I have offended anyone. But I have seen the effects of the shortcomings of the Catholic Church up close. I know many wounded Catholics, those who had belonged to the Catholic Church, maybe even since birth, yet left with bad experiences. My stepfather, stepbrother, and many close friends are among them.
Yet in the case of my stepfather, he didn’t leave by choice; he was kicked out because of the sin of his divorce from his first wife. It distresses me that though Jesus has forgiven my stepfather, the Catholic Church cannot.
My heart breaks for those wounded Catholics, like my stepfather, who are not able to find their way to another church. All his life my stepfather was told that the Catholic Church is the only one, true church. And when that church failed him, where can he go? He has gone nowhere, and remains lost.
If you are a “wounded” Catholic, having given up on the Catholic Church, please don’t give up on Jesus. He still loves you, and always will. God, as our ultimate and perfect Father, loves all His children, no matter what church they may go to.
Seeking Truth
Please, tell me your story of truth. If you’ve read any of my posts on this site, you know that the theme is all about contrasting false images of Christianity we see in our world, with the truth. Sometimes what we see is not anywhere near what the founder of Christianity, Jesus, had in mind.
I haven’t written anything on this site for a long time. The reason is that I’ve been spending my writing time working on a book. But instead of getting back to writing posts for this site, I find that I’m now more interested in hearing the experiences of others. What have you experienced in your exposure to the Christian church that may have been a false image of Christianity? Please share your story.
I know a lot of people who have been wounded by false messages coming from some churches. And I have a growing passion to help people find freedom from the pain of lies and deceptions. It occurred to me that maybe simply providing a forum to vent might be helpful. So please vent. Have you been wounded by a so-called Christian church, or so-called Christian? Then please, tell us about it, if you want to. Just comment to this post.
And if this kind of sharing becomes popular, I’ll try to find a better way to help facilitate it.
Thank you
It’s a Cold, Cruel World
It’s difficult and often dangerous out in the “real” world. As I raised my children, I protected them, fed them, taught them, cared for them, and loved them. I did my best to create a safe, joyful and loving environment at home. Yet they left.
Well of course they left; that’s the way of our society. Raise your children and then send them off on their own, to fend for themselves and put what you taught them into practice, hopefully.
It’s part of our nature to want to go out on our own, and live independent of our parents. We want to make our own decisions and direct our own life, without having to report to someone else. And along with this comes the responsibility of dealing with our own problems, on our own.
Of course for many of us, mom and dad are no farther away that the other end of the telephone, and they are often willing and able to help us deal with our problems. We may have left them when we moved out of their house, but they never really left us. Loving parents make themselves always available to help and guide their adult children.
Where am I going with all this? Well, I think this little scenario illustrates our history and relationship with God.
Humanity, in the persons of Adam and Eve, were lovingly raised by God, who offered them a home with Him, forever. He would protect them, feed them, teach them, care for them and love them. But the independent nature kicked in. Adam and Eve wanted to leave home and go out on their own, make their own decisions and direct their own lives.
I know some self-proclaimed atheists who make a case that all of the world’s problems are evidence that there is no God, for how could a God possibly allow so much evil. The truth is, God does not allow evil, in His home. But humanity struck out on their own, into the cold, cruel, evil world. We left God to go out on our own, spurred on by our prideful ego, which told us we were smart enough to live independent from God.
Yet we are not alone in this cold, cruel world. God is always just on the other end of the phone, lovingly willing to help us deal with our problems. All we need do is call, and listen.
Susan Boyles – a hero just when we need one
Have you seen the video on YouTube? If you haven’t seen Susan Boyles bring shock and awe to the judges and audience of the TV show “Britain’s Got Talent”, then follow this link and I hope you find joy in it… (YouTube video).
I watched for the first time last night, and tears came to my eyes. Not rolling tears, but the kind you can just feel welling up and making your nose sniffle. Then this morning, as I read the article in the newspaper with a bit more information about Susan Boyles the person – the tears flowed this morning. For me, Susan Boyles is a true hero, or rather heroin, just when I need one.
This is not the kind of thing I normally write about, but I am so move by Susan and her story, that I just had to express some of my feelings. The world is a mess, and lately it just seems to be getting messier. Military conflicts, pirates, lost jobs, the grim economy and vaporized savings; it all takes its toll. But then comes someone like Susan Boyles, who for me is a bright ray of sunshine. I think we all need heroes. Thank you Susan for just being you – the best kind of hero there is.
I think that concept of simple heroism kind of caught the judges and audience off guard. We are so used to our hero’s being glamorous, but then someone like Susan Boyles reminds us that it’s the unpretentious hero’s who are the most endearing and captivating.
The “ME” Generation Gone Wild
“City council drops moment of silence” – so stated the headline of the lead article in today’s local newspaper. The article went on to say, “The City Council has dropped its ritual moment of silence at the start of meetings, and some members questioned whether the Pledge of Allegiance should go next.”
As I read on, I wanted to know why. Why get rid of the moment of silence? The answer came two paragraphs later…
“The change came at the request of one of the council’s newest members, who said the practice could be seen as a form of prayer and might offend those who don’t want to participate.”
It didn’t really answer my question, yet there were clues. But it got me thinking about a more general issue which goes far beyond whether or not to observe moments of silence in small-town council meetings. There is a movement underway endeavoring to wipe out anything religious. Our country which was founded because people were looking for freedom of religion, is now a country where there is a strong push for freedom from religion.
Again I ask why, yet regrettably I think I already know the answer, and the answer actually goes far beyond the anti-religious movement. Why are people anti-moments-of-silence? Why are some anti-anything-religious? Why are others anti-(name any group of people, political party, belief, etc.)?
It’s all about selfishness and arrogance.
The new city council member either wants to exert new-found power because of his arrogance, or he just cannot stand the idea of other people believing differently than he does; again, because of his arrogance.
Arrogance is why the minority side of any issue thinks they should have it their way. People in our society are just unwilling to loose. They are unwilling to accept something they don’t happen to personally support. It’s the “me generation” gone wild. There is an epidemic of arrogance, selfishness and even bigotry, on the rise in our generation.
The anti-religion movement is rooted in selfishness as well. An atheist wants to make a name for himself, and becomes intoxicated on the power of his influence. Or maybe because of their bigotry (which is another form of self-centeredness and arrogance), they despise those who are different from themselves. Had you ever considered attacks on religion by atheists as an act of bigotry? Think about it.
And the “religious” are not immune. No one is immune from the diseases of the ego. All of the world’s conflicts, whether among nations or married couples or just two co-workers, are rooted in self-centeredness and arrogance. Get over it people!
We need to all grow up and stop acting like spoiled brats. We cannot always get our way, and we just need to accept that. And we need to start thinking more about others, and less about our selves.
What our society needs more than anything is a good old-fashioned dose of humility. And this actually gets me back to the bible, where humility is held in high esteem. For as Jesus said,
“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.” (Matthew 5:5)
Message to Atheists – what if I’m wrong?
I believe in God and His Son, Jesus Christ. But what if I’m wrong? What if I come to the end of my life and discover it was all a lie? What if the end is truly the end; no benevolent Father in heaven, no heaven, no after-life? What a drag that would be. All this effort to believe, worship and follow – all for nothing.
But would it really be for nothing? This morning I started wondering how I might feel if I discovered it were indeed all a lie. Since I was agnostic up to my late 30’s and an atheist during part of those earlier years, I had a baseline for evaluating how my faith has affected my life. What did that faith do to me? How did that faith change me; the faith that I was now considering as possibly based on a lie?
Here are some of the changes that faith has made in my life:
- I don’t swear like I used to.
- I don’t lie like I used to.
- I’m not as arrogant as I used to be. I’m much more humble.
- I’m willing to acknowledge when I’m wrong, instead of trying to blame someone or something else (I used to do this a lot).
- Faith has taught me to be much more patient than I used to be.
- I don’t worry about things like I used to. I just trust that God will make the right things happen.
- I used to run away from relationships that didn’t serve my self-interests. But with faith, I’ve been more willing to accept circumstances that are not always pleasant.
- Faith has given me the strength to resist the temptation to cheat on my spouse, and I’ve been tempted a lot.
- I used to be afraid of death. But now, the only thing that concerns me about death is the welfare of those I will leave behind.
- I don’t agonize over people who have wronged me. Instead I’m now able to forgive them and very effectively let go of the pain. My relationship with God has taught me to replace hate with forgiveness, sorrow and sympathy. And now, memories of past wrongs bring peace, not pain.
I could go on, but it all boils down to the following: my faith in God and Jesus Christ has taught me about humility, love, hope, and how to more easily relate to and accept others.
In looking at all this I realize that I like what my faith in God has done for me. So if I discover tomorrow that my faith is based on a lie, I will be crushed and greatly disappointed, but I will definitely not feel that I wasted my life on something false. No matter what, I’m happy with what faith has done to me.
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But dear Atheist, what if I’m right? What if you come to the end of your life and discover it’s not really the end? What if you discover all this propaganda about heaven and hell, about salvation by faith in Jesus Christ, about God; what if it’s all true?
C.S. Lewis (Chronicles of Narnia fame), is quoted as saying, “Christianity is a statement which, if false, is of NO importance, and, if true, of infinite importance. The one thing it cannot be is moderately important.”
I don’t know about you, but I would rather be a Christian and be wrong, than an Atheist and be wrong. The potential outcome isn’t nearly as devastating.
Would Jesus hate?
There are some who believe God hates you and me. I have been on a letter-writing campaign, periodically submitting comments to the web site of the Westboro Baptist Church, the home of Pastor Fred Phelps, a person well-known as a preacher of hate. Hoping that others may gain something by seeing the comments I’ve submitted, I have been periodically posting these comments on this blog. What follows is an oldie but a goodie.
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Dear Mr. Phelps,
Please understand that if I didn’t sincerely care for the collective souls of the Westboro Baptist Church, I would not keep writing to you. By the way, it is not in my nature to care for people who I consider so filled with hate. My natural tendency would be to hate you right back (see, I’m not immune to hypocrisy). So the only explanation I can give you for my compassion is this: as with all good things, it comes from God. God has somehow softened my heart and truly filled me with care and compassion for all of you. That is why I keep writing.
You remain in my thoughts and prayers daily. And it was while praying for you that the idea for this letter came to me. God put it on my heart, and in my mind, to write again to you today. As with all things, His words convey the message that is on my heart, far better than any words I could come up with.
“Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.’” (Matthew 16:24)
“Jesus answered, ‘If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.’” (Matthew 19:21
“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” (Matthew 4:19)
What does it mean to follow Jesus?
“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12)
“Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.” (Luke 11:4)
“I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.” (John 14:12)
“For I did not speak of my own accord, but the Father who sent me commanded me what to say and how to say it. I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say.” (John 12:49-50)
“The words I say to you are not just my own. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work.” (John 14:10)
Treat others as you wish to be treated. Forgive others as God forgives us. In all things, do as Jesus did. Speak Gods words, not our own. Jesus being both God and human while He walked the earth, we will do well to speak as Jesus spoke while we still walk the earth. This is what it means to follow Jesus. This is how we should act, feel and speak, if we are to truly follow Jesus.
And this brings me to what has been on my heart. Where did Jesus ever tell anyone that He hated them? He chastised people, to be sure. But He never once told someone He hated them. Nor did He tell anyone that God hated them. And neither should we!
You are not following Jesus! Please heed His warning:
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'” (Matthew 7:21-23)
Please Mr. Phelps! Honor your savior. I beg you to open your heart and see the truth behind your actions. But don’t listen to me; listen to Jesus, and follow Jesus.
Sincerely,
E.D. Jones
Putting Words in God’s Mouth – talking same-sex marriage
Many opponents of California’s Proposition 8 (ban on same-sex marriage) try to use the bible to present their case, claiming that God and Jesus actually support same-sex marriage, or at least that they aren’t against it. Note my emphasis of the phrase “use the bible.”
I’m not going to try and convince you that God and Jesus are against same-sex marriage. God did a perfectly good job of that already, as is recorded in His book. If you are a Christian and you also believe same-sex marriage is a good thing; well, your personal beliefs are just that, personal. I’m not going to argue with you.
After all, none of us are “perfect” Christians in that we usually have a hard time accepting everything that God and Jesus tell us in the bible. For example, I have a hard time accepting that people I dearly love, who do not know God and Jesus, will likely not make it to heaven. But I still love God and Jesus with all my heart (my mind just gets in the way sometimes). I believe that someone else can love God and Jesus just as much or more, and yet still believe that same-sex marriage is a good thing.
But if you are such a same-sex believer, and if in your efforts to convince others that you are “right” in your belief, you choose to “use the bible,” my post today is for you.
If you are so sure that same-sex marriage is good and “right,” I wonder why you feel you need to rely on God’s word to make your case. After all, marriage as defined in this context is not a religious union, but a civil union. Everything I read from advocates of same-sex marriage centers on civil rights. So why bring religion into it? Could it be that in your heart you know that God does not approve, and therefore, by your ego you feel it’s necessary to make it look as if God does approve? Does your ego require that God agree with you? (Now there’s an absurd thought: is it more important that God agree with you, than you agreeing with God?)
If God doesn’t agree with you, the solution is not to distort His word. Just accept it as is, and accept the fact that you believe in something that is not accepted by God. This is not a message for advocates of same-sex marriages only; this is a message for all of us who may succumb to the temptation to tweak God’s word a bit.
My request to those who distort the bible in order to make a case for their personal beliefs is this: humbly accept that you are on your own in your beliefs. Accept that God does not agree with you. I’m not asking you to let go of your beliefs (though I suspect God is). But please, do not be so arrogant as to put your own words and beliefs into God’s mouth. Do not misquote God or spin what He has said. And ask for forgiveness for any times where you may have misrepresented His word; He’ll forgive you.
The Blindness of Extremism
Extremist see so little; only what they want to see. I thought about this as I watched the final presidential debate last night, and was reminded again when I got to work this morning.
I saw in the debate views on both sides that I liked and agreed with. On the other hand, friends at work this morning greeted me with total praise for every word that came out of Obama’s mouth, and condemnation for every word uttered by McCain. Things just aren’t that black and white for me (no pun intended). I believe that every person, no matter how “different” they may be, has opinions that can be valued and accepted by others.
Yet extremism blinds people to the worth of others who are “different” from themselves. I believe the fundamental makeup of the extremist is that they are not willing to even consider the views of others. This goes for political extremists, environmental extremists, religious extremists; you name it.
Referring back to the types of topics I typically write about, here are a couple of examples of religious extremists:
- The members of the Topeka, Kansas church who loudly proclaim that God hates everyone except for them. They apparently read the bible looking only for things that support their view. If they come across something that is in conflict with their views, perhaps they ignore it or simply spin it.
- Those who believe that God does not consider homosexuality a sin. Based on what these people have to say, it appears they read the bible in the same way as the “haters”, or maybe they don’t read the bible at all.
What these two groups have in common (other than how they read the bible), is that they are blinded by their extreme views; unwilling to even consider evidence that is in conflict with their beliefs.
Extremists don’t always stand out like the radical Obama supporters where I work, or the religious nuts who carry signs saying “God hates you”, or the suicide bombers in the Middle East. We all may be blinded by our own extreme views and beliefs. Think about it; where are your blind spots?
What’s your perception of Christianity? Please comment…
This post is for you. Please tell me what you think about Christianity. What is your perception of Christianity? What aspects of Christianity don’t make sense to you? What don’t you like about it? What do you like about Christianity? What messages do Christians convey that appear to conflict with other things you may have heard about Christianity? What are some misconceptions about Christianity that you believe you or others may have? What are some questions you have about Christianity?
If any of these questions stir up feelings within you, please follow those feelings and submit a comment. If you would rather not comment in a way that becomes public, you can always just send me an email (see my email address at the top of the right-hand column of this page).
My purpose in asking these questions is not to draw out questions from you that I would then endeavor to answer myself. In all likelihood, I wouldn’t be able to answer many of your questions. I just want to know what people think about Christianity, and what kinds of questions they might have. However, if I see a question I believe I can answer, I just might write a post about it sometime in the future, (though I would write it in a way that keeps the originator of the question anonymous).
Thank you very much for your time and effort.
Sincerely,
E.D. Jones
Another story of “Christian” ego
“State social workers were interviewing children who live at the Tony Alamo Christian Ministries just south of Texarkana.” The newspaper article mentioned nothing about actual evidence of any kind of abuse. What caught my attention in this article was the name of the compound being raided; the “Tony Alamo Christian Ministries.”
If I knew nothing about Christianity, I would be tempted to conclude, from the name of the ministry, that Christianity is all about drawing attention to yourself. The “Tony Alamo Christian Ministries;” – note whose name comes first.
Now I know nothing about Mr. Alamo. There’s not much information in the article attesting to his Christian faith; that is, it’s hard to tell what kind of a Christian he is. Yet the one statement I’ve quoted appears to tell me a lot. If I were to make an observation based on first impressions, I would say that Mr. Alamo has a sizeable ego, and that “his” ministry is more about him than about Jesus Christ. Now I realize I could be totally wrong here, since I know almost nothing about the daily workings of this ministry. But it’s hard for me to ignore the impact of the name.
I wonder what Jesus’ first impression might be, when observing the “Tony Alamo Christian Ministry.” Might He remind us of what John the Baptist said (see this post about John’s humility)…
“He (Jesus) must become greater; I must become less.” (John 3:30)
As Jesus himself said, “For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 14:11)
I leave with this message to Mr. Alamo: Sir, I know nothing about who you are or where your heart is, other than by what you have named your ministry. Yet from that, I believe you have set yourself ahead of Jesus. Please prayerfully consider your heart and your motives, and your relationship with Jesus. And know this, those who humble themselves on earth, will be exalted in heaven. It’s the truth and a promise you can count on.
How to really live by first committing suicide
So is it possible to commit suicide, but have the outcome not be death, but rather a better life? Please bear with me on this one, though the premise may sound kind of wacko. To get to my point today, I first need to back-track to something I wrote yesterday (see it here).
“Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come! If your hand or your foot causes you to sin cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.” (Matthew 18:7-9)
As I mentioned yesterday, I do not believe Jesus intended for us to take Him literally, simply because the actions He proposes will not fix the true root cause of the problem. Sin does not originate in our eyes or hands; it originates in our heart and mind. Okay, so am I supposed to cut out my heart or brain, and thereby quite effectively bring an end to my sin, as well as my life? Did Jesus intend for us to commit suicide?
These questions bring me to today’s point, which is: I think Jesus is telling us to “spiritually” (not physically) cut out our sinful heart and sinful mind. Check out what else Jesus said, that I believe is relevant:
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24)
What does it mean to you, to “deny yourself?” To me it means to turn my back on my sinful self, to not allow my sinful self to have sway over my life, to starve my sinful self of attention until it becomes so weak that in effect, it dies. Suicide of my sinful self; that’s what I believe Jesus is asking of me.
Another way to look at it was expressed by Paul, “For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.” (Romans 6:6)
If you believe, your old sinful self has been nailed to the cross; crucified in the body of Jesus. He took your sinful self upon Himself, and along with Him, your old self died on the cross. If you believe.
And if you believe, then you are no longer a slave to sin. Did you realize that you once were, or maybe still are, a slave? That’s not life, that’s not living. Just ask someone who feels like they’re a slave to their job. But you can have yourself freed from slavery; just believe and Jesus will free you. And then you can begin to truly live.
Death to your old self, then a new life for your new self; this is what it means to be “re-born,” this is what it means to really live.
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What do you think about all of this? If you’re interested, you can read about Paul’s experience in trying to deal with his sinful self in his letter to the Romans:
“We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
“So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.” (Romans 7:14-25)“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1-4)
Amen.
CJ Penn's Online Writing Hangout 