Haven’t been blogging lately. Been too busy working on the book I’m writing with God. I know that might sound weird to you, but that’s the way it feels to me. And for me, there’s no other way to write, as I’m not by nature a writer. So I pray as I write, often spending more time with my eyes closed than with my fingers on the keyboard. Okay, so progress seems slow – just a good test for my natural impatience.
Anyway, I just felt like checking in with my blog today. And I want express my gratitude to God for having His hands on the keyboard along with mine.
A typical morning: coffee mug warming my hands, Jesus Calling devotional opened to yesterday (I’m usually a day behind), and my mind ping-ponging between the book on my lap and the Spirit of Jesus within my mind. And of course, my mind often takes a side trip and finds something to be anxious about.
This morning it was the idea of eventually publishing the book I’m writing. The marketing piece of this project isn’t very appealing, though it’s something I feel comfortable with. But like most would-be authors (I suspect), I would rather spend my time writing than marketing. The accelerated blogging, more time on Facebook, and whatever other opportunities make sense at the time – all this was feeling more like a dark cloud on the horizon than something to get excited about.
Then Jesus broke into my anxious thoughts. He immediately reminded me that it’s not up to me whether the book gets published, or up to anyone else. It’s God’s decision. And that’s just the way I want it. Having God in charge of this book project removes all of my self-induced stress. Jesus broke into my anxious thoughts, and the anxiety melted away. And I’m so grateful.
The Golden Gate Bridge – an icon of engineering risk-taking. To protect the bridge from the constant onslaught of corrosive salty air, high-climbing painters sandblast off the old paint and replace it with fresh paint. This continues until the painters finish the entire bridge, and then they start all over again, going back to the beginning. It’s a never-ending painting project.
This is how it feels with the book I’m writing. As soon as I finish one revision, I go back to the beginning and start working on the next revision. I recently started working on revision 11 – by now I should just be making fine adjustments. But I’ve been taking the heavy-duty sandblaster to this revision, removing large chunks of old “paint” and replacing them with fresh paint. It’s my never-ending “painting” project. And I love the work.
Knowing with certainty that the Holy Spirit of Jesus lives within me, my goal while writing is to have my self quietly stay in the background, so that the voice that makes it to the paper will be His voice, Jesus’ voice. I often fail, for my self won’t shut up. Being the selfish self that I am, my own voice wants to be heard. But sometimes I’m quiet enough to hear Jesus within me, and let His voice make it to the paper. Those are the best writing times.
I recently got some great advice from an editor friend of mine, and now I’m totally re-writing the first chapter of the book I’m working on. As for the rest of the book – I don’t know yet. Revision 11 is looking meaty. What revision will be the final one, 22?
When will this book be finished? I’m three months away from the seven year anniversary of the day I started working on this book. Whether I ever publish it or not, I sure would like to finish it someday. I’m getting impatient. I want to be done with it. Here I am, still getting up each morning way before sunrise, just so I can have an hour or two to write before going to work. Seven years now of the same routine, and the end still looks far off and blurry.
This morning I was praying about all this, again. And thank you Jesus for reminding me what’s important.
It’s not finishing the book that’s important, at least right now. The focus may shift to finishing at some time, but right now it’s all about writing. What gets me out of bed each morning is the joy of finding Jesus in my writing. When my words are His words – this is what I chase after each morning. And when I’m able to empty myself enough to let Him write through me, those are the best moments of my day. Well worth getting out of bed before the crows. And I’ll keep at it until Jesus says it’s done.
As a kid, when I would run out the backdoor to wander the hills behind our house, my mom liked to shout, “Don’t fall in a hole.” Even now, as a much older kid, if I tell mom that my wife and I are going on a hike, she’ll end the phone call with, “Don’t fall in a hole.”
Well, I recently fell again in that same old hole of my own digging. While on the journey of writing a book, I started over-planning my next steps. The revision I’m now working on will be followed with a good cleaning up by an editor friend of mine. I need to finalize the proposal. I will then follow the path of trying to convince a traditional Christian publisher, by submitting the proposal to the Christian Manuscript Submission website. And if that doesn’t get anyone’s attention, I’d turn to the path of self-publishing, likely with the help of Westbow Press. And I could ask my artistic niece to create a cover design – I really like that idea. These, and more tasks, started crowding my thoughts. And of course, I started dreaming up a schedule for all of this.
I was deep in the hole now, over my head in the stress-pit of my over-planning. The fun was dying from my book project.
But thankfully, Jesus reminded me of my folly. He reminded me that it’s His plans and schedules that are important. He’ll take care of the timing. All I need to do is make myself available to Him, to write when He wants me to write, and to do all that other stuff only when the time is right. The stress is now gone… at least until I start digging my hole again.
I’ve been working on refining the description of the book I’m writing. I think it’s about time – I’ve been working on this thing for almost seven years, and I tend to awkwardly stumble to an answer when people ask what the book is about. Lately I’ve been working on the elevator pitch; the briefest of descriptions. Here’s what I have so far, maybe for an elevator ride of about five floors.
Book title:His Truth Will Set You Free; knocking down the prison walls of manmade religion.
Pitch: The manmade false ideas that pollute Christianity are like large stones in a prison wall, mortared together by pride and greed, holding captive unwary believers and barricading those seeking answers. This book demolishes the prison walls of false messages with the mighty truth of Jesus Christ.
I’m curious; based on that brief description, would you read such a book?
While reading a devotional this morning, I saw a new image for the book I’m writing about the truth of Christianity. The book is like a flawed jar of clay. It cannot help but be flawed, for it comes out of me and contains my flaws. But this book of imperfect and sometimes cracked clay is filled with the power and glory of God, for the words within came from His inspiration.
Just as I myself am a flawed vessel, filled with the Spirit of God – I like this image of the book I’m writing. For I write with God, my inspiration.
The book I’m writing has been incubating for almost 3 months – that’s how long it’s been since I finished revision 10. While praying yesterday, it came to me that the Holy Spirit within me is now ready to start working on rev 11. At least, this is what I believe, and hope. When I think the Spirit of Jesus is speaking to me, sometimes I’m not sure. Sometimes I think these ideas come into my mind just because that’s what I desire.
I have hopes for this book; hopes that over time the truths within the book will touch and heal the hearts of many people. But I also hope that whatever path the book takes is the path defined by Jesus. His will be done, not mine.
No matter where it goes from here, today I start working on rev 11, because I believe this is what God wants me to do. How will I know if I’m following God’s will and not just my own? I think the outcome will be my answer. Wherever this book ends up will tell me which path I followed.
This writing gig gets me all confused and stressed out. To self-publish my book, or chase after a traditional publisher? To try to lure an agent, or not? Should I even bother trying to publish? How to attract followers to this blog? How to increase page hits? Should I even bother trying to attract followers, or instead focus on a simpler motive for writing blog posts?
Today is a typical morning for me; my mind is a jumble of random thoughts and questions, all in search of a purpose and direction. And in the middle of this mess is my selfish beast, wanting it all MY way.
Some mornings I get bogged down in the muck of my own self-centeredness. But today I was lifted out of this muddy pit and set down on the higher ground of solid humility. Of course, the Holy Spirit within me did the lifting.
Now, the stress and confusion are gone. My only desire is to be hands and feet for God.
Dear Lord, dear Spirit who shares this body of mine, I am yours. These hands are yours, resting on this keyboard. This mind is yours. My heart and soul are yours. Why? Because of love. I love you so much dear Spirit of Jesus. You’ve given me life. You’ve given me purpose. You’ve given me love beyond understanding. Please help me to not waste your gift of love. You came for me… I’m here for you.
Six years! That’s how long, so far, I’ve been working on writing my first book. And finally, it’s about ready to publish. Friends ask me if it’s finished. I say yes, but it never feels finished. I feel I could forever tinker with it. But for now, the tinkering is over. I believe God is telling me to jump out of my boat and take the next big step in this journey with Him… start submitting the book to publishers.
I could self-publish of course. That would be easy. But there’s not much about this six year journey that has been easy for me, so why start now. And besides, something tells me God wants me to first try traditional publishing.
So the first thing I’m going to do is submit a proposal through the Christian Manuscript Submission (CMS) website. It seems like a cool way to get the book proposal in front of many different publishers.
Do any of you have experience with CMS? I could really use some advice.
Over the past several months, many people have commented on the brevity of my posts. It seems that they find fewer words are more powerful and helpful. So I thought I’d share with you two things that inspire my pithy writing.
First is the book “On Writing Well,” by William Zinsser, where he stresses the benefits of brevity.
Yet for me, my most important inspiration comes from God… “The more the words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone?” (Ecclesiastes 6:11)
If you’re wondering, this is the right place. Actually, the “right” place is a matter of opinion, which I leave to you. But this is likely the place you were expecting to land with your last mouse click. I just decided to change the look of the blog site.
It’s been over six years since I started this blog, and I felt it was time for a wardrobe change. And in a way, it’s symbolic of some changes in me…
When I first starting writing in this blog, those six years ago, I believe I still held onto anger towards churches that abuse the truth of Jesus Christ, and I let that anger spill onto the keyboard. Well, maybe wisdom comes with age, for I no longer want to fill my posts with acquisitions, even if based on absolute truth.
All I want to do now is write about the truth of Jesus Christ, and that means letting His love spill onto the keyboard while I write. For me, it’s a new look, and I like it.
After six years of sporadic writing, I finally finished revision 10 of the book I’m working on with God; working title, His Truth Will Set You Free. It seemed to me that rev 10 was final draft quality, so I decided to get copies printed and ask my family to read it. This has been a huge moment for me, since my main reason for writing this book has been to offer the truth of Christianity to people I love who currently do not know Jesus.
Anyway, I now find myself in a very weird place. I feel a bit meaningless. After six years of getting up long before the sun, just so I can get in some writing time before work, it now feels like I have nothing to do with my time. Maybe I’m feeling a bit of temporary post-partum depression, or something like that.
Well, this morning, while sitting in writing limbo, I started re-reading one of my favorite books, The Power of the Spirit, by William Law. Talk about power – Law doesn’t give you a chance to get warmed up. A powerful message of the truth of the Holy Spirit erupts from the very first pages. And he affirmed for me a truth that has kept me writing for six years; anything good that may appear in me, truly comes from the Spirit of God within me. For all good comes from God.
Anything good within the book I’m writing comes from God, not me. I’m just His pen. And I’m so grateful.
All I need do is show up – He’ll take it from there. I’m working on revision 10 of a book I’m writing, with help from my ghost writer, the Holy Spirit of God. I’ve written about my ghost writer before (here).
This past weekend, as I found a moment in-between to-do list chores, I sat at the dining room table and began to try to clear my mind of the distractions around me. This can be the hardest part of my writing – getting focused. It can be painful for me to concentrate on my editing, and find and fix the troubled spots in the latest draft. I feel the pressure of not wanting to miss anything.
The answer then became suddenly clear. All I need do is open the binder holding revision 10, grab a pencil, and read. The Spirit of Jesus within me will show me what needs changing. I can just relax and trust Him.
At that moment, I truly felt the trust – not just a promise of trust, but a true and tangible reality of trust. It felt great to relax, read, and wait on Jesus to point out the weak spots in my writing. I so love writing this way, with absolute trust in the Holy Spirit. Thank you dear Jesus.
Most of my family isn’t Christian. I’m the family Jesus freak. Whenever a sister, niece, nephew, or in-law is brave enough to mention anything Christian around me, it’s clear their perspective of Christianity has been polluted by false information.
That’s why I’m writing the book I’ve been working on for the past 6 years. I just realized that I spent the first 4 ½ years doing research. It’s only the past 1 ½ years that I’ve been doing real writing.
Anyway, what gets me up at 4:00am each morning so I can write before going to work is love for my family. It hurts me to see some of them hurting because of the false ideas they have about God and Jesus. If they only knew the truth… they still might not accept Jesus, but at least they could make their decision based on truth, rather than lies.
And so I write, with the hope that I put my “self” aside long enough to let Jesus speak His truth to my family, through the book. His truth can set them free from the pain of the troubles in their lives.
When will I ever be finished with the book I’m writing? Which revision will be the final draft? I’m working on rev 9, and I know for sure there will be a rev 10. I recently wrote about my anguish and impatience (see it here). Since I’m a tinkerer, I sometimes fear that I will never be finished, that I will keep tweaking the book, always looking for ways to make it better. In the engineering world of which I work, there is a saying: there comes a time in every project to shoot the designer and release the product. Am I going to have to shoot myself in order to settle for a final draft?
This morning I found myself praying about trusting God. And this is what came into my mind: I don’t have to worry about the final draft. Since in my effort to write this book all I’m trying to do is be Gods pen, with Him the author, the final draft is up to Him. He will decide which draft is final, and He will make it clear to me. In fact, He already has. All I have to do is trust Him. And I do. Thank you Lord.
He did it again… my ghost writer. I’m working on revision 9 of a book I’m collaborating on with my ghost writer friend. Yesterday I finished marking up chapter 20 with more fine-tuning changes (part of what sometimes feels like my never-ending editing process). This morning I got up at 4:00am, as usual, to get in some writing before heading to work. I had intended to start editing chapter 21. But as I got out of bed, the thought became clear that I needed to go back and take another look at chapter 20. My ghost writer was talking to me again.
Got my coffee and settled myself in my makeshift “office” (a walled-off corner in the garage), and while letting the coffee cup warm my hands, I prayed, as usual. This thought came clearly into my mind: there was a glaring problem buried within chapter 20 that I needed to uncover and fix. My ghost writer, the Holy Spirit of God within me, was making my task for this morning clear.
And sure enough, as I read my way through chapter 20, I turned a page and there was the problem – a couple of unclear and awkward paragraphs. And the whole section looked a lot better with those paragraphs crossed out.
This is the way it goes, writing with the Holy Ghost. Is God really speaking to me, giving me direction on how to write this book? Well, the answer depends on what you believe. For me, I certainly believe so. And I’m so grateful. Thank you God.
Look, I’m not a trained writer. I don’t often know what I’m doing. But maybe that’s good, because the less I know, the more I rely on God.
It’s often hard for me to believe I’m writing a book. I mean, this thing is almost done, and it actually has a decent structure and is readable. For someone who never learned grammar in high school, it’s weird for me to look at this book and realize it came from my own hands.
But it’s not totally mine. This book is actually the product of prayer. I look to God in prayer, and the words for the book come into my mind. Are the words really from God or from me? I don’t know. I just know I couldn’t have done this without His help. He’s always there for me – just a thought away.
Simon says take 5 giant steps away from the work. Pull my head out of the details and look at it as if it’s not my own. This is how I’ve started approaching the editing of the past couple revisions of the book I’m writing. I read it as if it’s not my book. I read it as if I’m one of my few close friends who I have asked to review the current draft.
So, when I see something that seems unclear or awkward or just not right, I don’t have the burden of having to find a fix. All I do is flag it as needing work. I attach sticky-notes that generally state what’s wrong with the sentence, paragraph, or entire section. Then I move on. It makes this first part of the editing process easy – just point out problem areas.
But of course, as the writer of the book I still have to eventually go back and fix all the problems I had flagged. But I’ve noticed that I catch a lot more weaknesses with this two-step editing process.
And maybe by first pretending I’m not the writer, rather just a reviewer, I’m dodging my ego; my ego that usually has problems recognizing my own errors. It sure can be hard to do good writing when my self-centered human nature gets in the way.
CJ Penn's Online Writing Hangout 