CJ Penn's Online Writing Hangout

The reason I write: To promote Christian truth and help Jesus get His Christianity back.

Author Archives: CJ Penn


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Finding Jesus in My Writing

ghost writer

I recently got some great advice from an editor friend of mine, and now I’m totally re-writing the first chapter of the book I’m working on. As for the rest of the book – I don’t know yet. Revision 11 is looking meaty. What revision will be the final one, 22?

When will this book be finished? I’m three months away from the seven year anniversary of the day I started working on this book. Whether I ever publish it or not, I sure would like to finish it someday. I’m getting impatient. I want to be done with it. Here I am, still getting up each morning way before sunrise, just so I can have an hour or two to write before going to work. Seven years now of the same routine, and the end still looks far off and blurry.

This morning I was praying about all this, again. And thank you Jesus for reminding me what’s important.

It’s not finishing the book that’s important, at least right now. The focus may shift to finishing at some time, but right now it’s all about writing. What gets me out of bed each morning is the joy of finding Jesus in my writing. When my words are His words – this is what I chase after each morning. And when I’m able to empty myself enough to let Him write through me, those are the best moments of my day. Well worth getting out of bed before the crows. And I’ll keep at it until Jesus says it’s done.


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That’s My Book of Order!

book of order

Each of the church elders had already put in a full days work, with another workday less than ten hours away. Yet they were now in the third hour of a one-hour meeting, a little after 10:00 pm, and the pastor was again lecturing on the supremacy of the Presbyterian Book of Order. The elders had heard this message many times before, how important it is to make sure all their decisions are in accordance with the Presbyterian rulebook. Finally, my friend Chris couldn’t take any more. At a pause in the lecture, Chris slowly stood up, slammed his bible on the table, and declared, “THAT’s my Book of Order!”

Beware of those who put their rules above Gods rules. As Jesus warned, “They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.” (Matthew 15:9)


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Trust… can be difficult when I get in the way

trust

The idea for a new writing project has been growing in my mind over the weekend. Though I feel pulled toward this project, taking hold of it right now would take time away from other things. So I’ve been asking God for advice.

I often go to God, asking Him to make decisions for me. I trust His decisions far more than my own. Yet most times, I already have a preference. And with that preference burning in my mind, I feel I can’t fully trust that the answer that comes to me is solely from God. Maybe it’s my preference, making too much noise for me to hear God’s answer.

Though my heart hungers to trust completely in God, my mind often gets in the way. Yet God is patient with me, and I’m so grateful.


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Good Morning Dear Friend

close to God

Good morning dear Jesus. I’m so grateful to be your friend. You said that there is no greater love than that of a friend who sacrifices his life for another friend and, that we are your friends, if we do as you command. And later you said that your command is to love each other. You then sacrificed yourself, for us. Yet you didn’t wait for our love. Your love came first, without conditions.

I admit that I don’t truly understand the magnitude of your love. Maybe your love goes beyond human love, like a dimension of love that we cannot see. Yet you’ve spilled your love (and your blood), into our human lives. I’m so grateful you didn’t wait for my love to come first. Thank you dear Jesus.


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Falling Into My Stress-Pit

Out-of-the-Slimy-Pit

As a kid, when I would run out the backdoor to wander the hills behind our house, my mom liked to shout, “Don’t fall in a hole.” Even now, as a much older kid, if I tell mom that my wife and I are going on a hike, she’ll end the phone call with, “Don’t fall in a hole.”

Well, I recently fell again in that same old hole of my own digging. While on the journey of writing a book, I started over-planning my next steps. The revision I’m now working on will be followed with a good cleaning up by an editor friend of mine. I need to finalize the proposal. I will then follow the path of trying to convince a traditional Christian publisher, by submitting the proposal to the Christian Manuscript Submission website. And if that doesn’t get anyone’s attention, I’d turn to the path of self-publishing, likely with the help of Westbow Press. And I could ask my artistic niece to create a cover design – I really like that idea. These, and more tasks, started crowding my thoughts. And of course, I started dreaming up a schedule for all of this.

I was deep in the hole now, over my head in the stress-pit of my over-planning. The fun was dying from my book project.

But thankfully, Jesus reminded me of my folly. He reminded me that it’s His plans and schedules that are important. He’ll take care of the timing. All I need to do is make myself available to Him, to write when He wants me to write, and to do all that other stuff only when the time is right. The stress is now gone… at least until I start digging my hole again.


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Dear Jesus…

child in lap

Dear Jesus, I give you this day, I give you my life today, one day at a time, as it’s the best I seem able to do. But this offer sounds silly to me, as I feel that my life, this day, is not even mine to give away. I believe it’s already yours; always has been. So what should be my prayer today?

Maybe this: Dear Jesus, thank you for this day that you will share with me, this day that is yours already, my life that is yours already, sharing these precious things with me. Thank you for being greater in my life, and for my self-centered self being less.

What will we do today, together? The joy of following your lead – this is truly living.


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Connected by Prayer

vine and branches

Instead of judging my friend and their annoying behavior, I decided to pray for them. Often, when I pray for someone who makes me annoyed or angry, I’m actually praying for myself. I ask for patience and understanding.

As I went through my day, frequently praying for my annoying friend, I realized I was truly praying FOR them, instead of me. I kept thinking that they are annoying for a reason – some pain in their life, perhaps. My prayers became filled with a compassion for my friend, rather than annoyance. And then the surprise opened up before me.

I started feeling a strong connection with my friend; some kind of spiritual connection, I believe. And I believe that connection was through Jesus. His vine and branch image came into my mind, where Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

Our mutual connection with Jesus connects us to each other, spiritually. And I now believe that compassionate prayers FOR someone will strengthen those connections.


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Prayer vs. Judgment

do not judge

I’ve been reading The Good and Beautiful Life, by James Bryan Smith, just finishing the chapter about judgment. I learned a seismic truth while reading this chapter and then talking about it in our small group last night.

Smith gives a quote by Philo of Alexandria, who said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” Being judgmental can come so naturally for me. It’s often irresistible. But when I look at my target, and realize that the behavior I wish to judge may be battle scars – my judgment melts into compassion. And given time, compassion feels a lot better than judgment.

Where judgment can lead to criticism, compassion leads me to prayer. And from my experience, prayer is far more helpful than judgment. Where feelings of judgment eat at my soul, compassion and prayer feed my soul. And my hope is that prayers will lead to healing of battle scars.


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Living in the Wrong Time

clock

I often spend too much time in the past,

with my companion Regret.

Or, I hang out in the future,

where also lives Worry.

The best days are when I live in the present,

with my friend, the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ.

With Him, there is no room for Regret or Worry.

Only Peace, Love, and Joy.


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My Quiet Time

Not alone in the trials

Quiet time.

I’m so grateful for the silence,

and the emptiness of activity.

Life is so loud sometimes.

I can’t hear even myself.

Definitely can’t hear God,

even though He’s right here within me.

But sometimes I squander the gift of quiet time.

Sometimes I fill it with my own noise.

Yet, once I empty myself of all the racket in my mind,

I can then see God, patiently waiting for me.

He’s always here, somewhere below my noise,

waiting for me to accept His gift of quiet time.

And I’m so grateful.

 


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My Elevator Pitch

Elevator Pitch

I’ve been working on refining the description of the book I’m writing. I think it’s about time – I’ve been working on this thing for almost seven years, and I tend to awkwardly stumble to an answer when people ask what the book is about. Lately I’ve been working on the elevator pitch; the briefest of descriptions. Here’s what I have so far, maybe for an elevator ride of about five floors.

Book title: His Truth Will Set You Free; knocking down the prison walls of manmade religion.

Pitch: The manmade false ideas that pollute Christianity are like large stones in a prison wall, mortared together by pride and greed, holding captive unwary believers and barricading those seeking answers. This book demolishes the prison walls of false messages with the mighty truth of Jesus Christ.

I’m curious; based on that brief description, would you read such a book?


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Hugging Jesus

forest trail

We were on vacation up in the mountains, having rented a cabin on the edge of a pine forest. Early each morning, before my wife and children awoke, I would sneak outside for a quiet walk in the woods. I prayed for most of my walk, sometimes stopping, standing still in the middle of the trail with my eyes closed, just so I could focus more on Jesus.

I was so hungry for Jesus. I was craving His presence in my life. I ached with the overpowering desire to see Him in human form. As I stood still on that trail, I hoped with all my heart to open my eyes to find Jesus standing in front of me. My love for Him ached to reach out and hug Him.

“If you want to hug me, hug someone else. For within them, you will be hugging me too.” At that moment of intense desire, these words came into my mind. Was Jesus speaking to me? Was He answering my prayers? I believe so.

Do you love Jesus? Then show Him your love, by loving others. Next time you hug someone, picture Jesus within them. And maybe give Jesus an extra squeeze to show Him how much you care.


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My Jar of Clay

jar of clay

While reading a devotional this morning, I saw a new image for the book I’m writing about the truth of Christianity. The book is like a flawed jar of clay. It cannot help but be flawed, for it comes out of me and contains my flaws. But this book of imperfect and sometimes cracked clay is filled with the power and glory of God, for the words within came from His inspiration.

Just as I myself am a flawed vessel, filled with the Spirit of God – I like this image of the book I’m writing. For I write with God, my inspiration.


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I’m Convinced

There were two separate times in my life, over 20 years ago, when I held my fresh-out-of-the-womb sons, moments after they were born. Even though I didn’t believe in Jesus at the time, I was convinced there is God. For I held miracles in my arms.

I fear that anyone who doesn’t believe in miracles is going through life with their eyes, and heart, closed.


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Buffet for my Ego

buffet

Life is a smorgasbord for my ever-ravenous ego.

So many choices, all feeding my ego’s need for attention.

At work, the buffet sometimes overflows.

At home, there are snacks on every table.

Everywhere I go, everywhere I look, my ego finds something to devour.

Yet my ego is not my friend.

It resists my desire to wrest my eyes from the buffet,

and look more to the Holy Spirit of Jesus within me.

My hearts desire is that Jesus become greater within me,

and my ego becomes less.

It feels like the never-ending on-again, off-again diet.

Yet my diet coach is the very Son of God.

My ego against Jesus – guess who’s winning.

My ego keeps fighting for attention,

but Jesus in my heart is stronger.

And I’m so grateful.

For life is limitless without my ego holding me prisoner.


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Where is Your Church?

forest - scraggly

Behind the business park where I work is a ragged forest. Not much of a forest really. Mostly low brush, scraggly naked trees shivering against the winter cold, and scattered patches of mud.

And a homeless encampment. Peering through the trees, you can spot signs of life. A white plastic chair, a blue tarp tent, wooden pallet flooring to protect from the mud.

I believe if Jesus were here, rather than hang out at the church down the road, He’d go into the homeless encampment. I believe for Jesus, church is not a building, church is not a place. Church is hanging out with homeless people. Church is wherever you are. Church is the Spirit of Jesus within you. Church is you.

“Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? … for God’s temple is sacred, and you are that temple.” (1 Corinthians 3:16-17)

“And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.” (Ephesians 2:22)

“But Christ is faithful as a son over God’s house. And we are his house, if we hold on to our courage and the hope of which we boast.” (Hebrews 3:6)


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Checking the Pulse on Your New Years Resolution

Pulse check

Yes, my resolution is still alive, strong, and growing within me. How is your resolution (if you’re into that kind of thing)?

My resolution is to let the Spirit of Jesus become a greater part of my life, and have my self-centered self become a lesser part. As John the Baptist said of Jesus, “He must become greater; I must become less.” (John 3:30)

Am I doing any better at letting Jesus become a greater part of my life? Well, I’m not sure. My selfish ego is pretty stubborn, wanting all my attention, all the time. And lifelong habits are hard to change. But I take comfort in God’s promises, which are scattered generously throughout the bible. One of my favorites is…

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)

God will work my resolution within me. Can you trust God with your resolution?


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Your Inner Voice of God

Inner voice

I vividly remember reluctantly meeting them over ten years ago. I was walking back to work after my lunchtime visit to the nearby hardware store. She was sitting on the lawn by the entrance to the parking lot. He was standing by the road, holding out his handmade cardboard sign, hoping for a handout.

My feet wanted to take the long way around them. But my inner voice (yes, my voice of God), said, “Go talk with them.”

“No, please. Not today. I should be getting back to work.”

“CJ, you know what’s right. Do it, for me.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll go talk with them. But only for a minute.”

We hung out together for over 20 minutes. They told me their story. And when I went to leave, we hugged.

My inner voice of God is always right. I just need to listen more often.


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Alone… but Not Alone

jumbo jet

I was on my way to the Philippines for work. Eleven hours trapped in this middle seat in coach – at least I’m in an exit row. But this guy next to me smells – different bathing practices than me. Strolling the aisle – plane full of faces, but no one familiar.

Finally arriving in Tokyo – three-hour layover, and gratefully able to stretch my achy legs. Wandering through the airport full of other travelers. Sure would be fun to see someone I know, but no luck.

Next plane and five more hours to Manila. Plane packed full, but at least I have an aisle seat. Still no familiar faces.

Manila airport; I’m all alone in a sea of people.

But I’m never truly alone. Sitting next to my stinky neighbor, the Holy Spirit is with me. Walking through Tokyo airport, the Holy Spirit is with me. The entire trip, the Holy Spirit is within me. Whenever I feel alone, I look to the Spirit of Jesus within me. And He’s always here. I’m never alone. And I’m so grateful.


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Oh, Save me from Boredom

Bored

Currently at work, trapped in an all-day meeting on export compliance regulations. Why am I here? Other than I’m required by the company I work for, I have no idea why I’m here.

I’m bored!!! Thankfully, this boring meeting gives me the time to frequently drift away and see in my mind’s eye the Holy Spirit of God within me. And even some time to now write this post.

Oh dear Jesus, thank you so much for being here with me. Thank you for lowering yourself from the glories of heaven to share my life in this messy, painful, and sometimes boring world. You left behind the peace, joy, freedom, and love of heaven, to have your Spirit live with us here in our broken world. Yet, you brought with you the treasures of heaven, the peace, the joy, and the love. All I need do is look inside, to you, and I too can share in heaven. Heaven on earth, within me. Thank you so much dear Jesus. Love, CJ

As Jesus said, “Once, on being asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, “The coming of the kingdom of God is not something that can be observed, nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:20-21)